Projects 7 thru 12 - evolve a high-nurturance stepfamily together

Inventory: Our Stepfamily's Strengths

C) Our Co-parents' General Strengths
 as Childcare Givers (part 2 of 2)

By Peter K. Gerlach, MSW
Member NSRC Experts Council

1) Our Co-parenting Strengths ... 

C) General childcare-giving strengths (concluded): 

Me

You

24) S/He's often grounded: i.e. clear-thinking, clear-talking, and steadily focused and balanced; 

25) S/He _ knows clearly what "empathic (or 'active'' or 'reflective') listening" is, and _ often uses it naturally and effectively; or _ s/he is open now to learning this communication skill and using it with our kids and adults; 

26) S/He's _ sincerely respectful of each of our minor and grown kids, and _ is respected enough by each of them now; 

27) S/He is usually realistically positive, vs. idealistic, pessimistic, or fearful;

28) S/He's _ accepting of others' traits with limits; and _ is usually truly forgiving; 

29) S/He's often willing to _ seek and _ try new ways of child guidance; 

30) S/He's _ co-operative (vs. subservient or controlling) with our kids and other co-parents _ within appropriate limits; 

31) S/He's often willingly (vs. resentfully) self-sacrificing - with healthy limits; 

32) S/He's _ able to  grieve life-losses naturally and well, and _ helps to facilitate our kids' and adults' good grief (Project 5); 

33) S/He's confidant enough as a person and a co-parent;

34) S/He's often effective and creative at _ teaching and _ modeling useful life skills to our kids; 

35) S/He spontaneously affirms, validates, and encourages kids and adults when those are merited.  

36) S/He is usually tolerant enough of situational home and family confusion, hubbub, and disorder; 

37) S/He's reasonably well-organized and resourceful; 

38) S/He generally _ accepts her/his and others' limitations, and _ is usually not a rigid perfectionist;

39) S/He's comfortable enough _ setting and _ enforcing limits and loving consequences with our kids; 

40) S/He's willing and able to let go of control (of the kids' lives and decisions) along the way;