Project 8 of 12 for high-nurturance families and relationships
	Worksheet: Special-relationship Traits Identify and Discuss Some Key Realities By Peter K. Gerlach, MSW

• home > overview > site map or directory > Q&A, Project 8 links, Solutions article, or other page > here

The Web address of this page is http://sfhelp.org/08/mrrg-values-wks.htm

        Clicking links below will open a full window or an informational popup, so please turn off your browser's popup blocker or allow popups from this nonprofit Web site.

        This is one of over 150 articles focused on building high-nurturance family relationships and preventing divorce. This introduction describes the Web site's purpose and the best ways to use its resources. Each article is part of a mosaic of ideas, so the more you read, the more sense they'll all make. These articles augment, vs. replace, other qualified professional help.        

        Before continuing, reflect: why are you reading this - what do you need?

  Learn About a Special Relationship...

        Use these sentence "stubs" to help you clarify the current nature of a special relationship you have.

 Suggestions...

• Print this worksheet.

• Find an undistracted place and time, and get comfortable.

• Choose an attitude of curiosity, and put other concerns aside for now;

• Assess whether your true Self is leading your personality subselves. If not, who is - and why?

• Trust your first responses to each question, and try not to edit. If you have an urge to edit - what does that mean?

• Have extra paper, in case you want to write more than there's room for - or if you want to journal about the thoughts, images, and feelings that come as you fill this out. If you have a tape recorder, consider using that for "verbal journaling."

• Pick a relationship you want to know better - your lover, spouse, or another special adult or child, present or absent. Options: include yourself as a possible focus person, and your Higher Power, or an unborn child. 

        You also can focus on one of your personality subselves - e.g. your Inner Critic,   Perfectionist, Abandoned Child, or another. A variation of this exercise is to write a free-thought dialog with the other person, like the script in a play.

• Remind yourself of your right to disclose and discuss your results or not;

• Skip items that don't apply, or re-word them so they do. Add others that occur to you.

+ + +

As I begin this exploration, I'm aware that...

 

 

1) Things I prize a lot about us are...

 

 

2) When I have a conflict with you, I...

 

 

3) We communicate best when...

 

 

4) I feel our relationship would really improve if...

 

 

 

5) What I can often take for granted about you is...

 

 

 

6) What I wish you accepted about me is...

 

 

 

7) It really frustrates me when you...

 

 

 

8) I feel closest to you when...

 

 

 

9) When we talk about our relationship...

 

 

 

10) What I admire about you is...

 

 

 

11) When we disagree, what I need most is...

 

 

 

12) The kids feel best when we...

 

 

 

13) The part of our relationship I worry the most about is...

 

 

 

14) Compared to when we first met, we...

 

 

 

15) About our relationship it's hard for me to accept that...

 

 

 

16) What I need most from you is...

 

 

 

17) I specially appreciate you when...

 

 

 

18) I get really hurt, and then angry with you when...

 

 

 

19) It's fun when we...

 

 

 

20) I hope we...

 

 

 

21) I have a hard time talking honestly with you about...

 

 

because...

 

 

22) Something I really regret is...

 

 

 

23)  What I want to know better about you is... 

 

 

 

24)  What I've learned here is... 

 

 

 

25) Something I want to do now is...

 

 

  Notes / Thoughts …

         Pause, breathe, and recall why you used this worksheet. Did you get what you needed? If so, what do you need now? If not - what do you need? Is there anyone you want to discuss these ideas with? Who's answering these questions - your wise resident true Self, or "someone else"?

<<  This article was very helpful  somewhat helpful  not helpful   >>  

<<  Prior page  /  Add to favorites  /  Print page  /  Email this worksheet's address  >>

 home  /  site overview  /  directory  /  site map  /  Q&A  /  quizzes  /  solutions  /  site search  /  glossary

  research  /  free course  /  guidebooks  /  NEW  forums  /  resources  /  feedback  and/or  subscribe  /  * copyright info

Updated  August 25, 2008