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address of this quiz is http://sfhelp.org/basics/quiz_grief.htm
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This is one of over 150 articles focused on building
family relationships and
preventing divorce.
This
introduction describes the Web site's purpose and the best ways to use
its resources. Each article is part of a
mosaic of ideas, so the
more you read, the more sense they'll all make. These articles augment, vs.
replace, other
professional help.
Before continuing, reflect: why are you reading this -
what do you
+ + +
This self-assessment quiz can help you decide if you and/or important
other people need to learn more about interpersonal bonds, losses (broken
bonds), and healthy grief. The quiz exists because evidence suggests that
incomplete or blocked grief is a significant unseen stressor for many
people, relationships, and families. For perspective, read this brief
news article on "complicated" (incomplete)
grief.
See if
you agree with these premises...
-
starting in infancy, normal people form
emotional / spiritual attachments or bonds to special living things,
places, rituals, dreams, ideas, and freedoms.
-
By choice or chance, these bonds break,
causing
Losses can cause significant personal reactions that can impair normal
living and reduce
-
Nature provides an effective way of
"processing" these reactions, so we can gradually regain personal
balance and wholistic health - if we have some key
-
Without these requisites, mourning can be slowed or blocked. This
can promote a range of significant personal and family problems like
addictions, obesity, depression, rage and/or weeping "attacks," sleep
and digestive problems, and relationship stresses.
-
Our feel-good, warp-speed media and society
(a) don't teach lay and professional people what they need to know about
healthy grief, and (b) distract adults and kids from processing their
inevitable life-losses in a healthy way. So -
-
To avoid or free up the toxic effects of
incomplete or blocked grief, people like you
need to know and apply basic information about bonding, losses, and
healthy mourning. "Apply" includes teaching this basic
information to minor kids, and intentionally modeling healthy
personal and family grieving
Family
in this nonprofit Web site offers
resources to help interested adults learn how to do this.
To use the resources effectively, people (you) need significant
progress on
(assess for and reduce significant psychological
and
(learn and apply effective-communication basics and skills).
in this Web site offer ways to evaluate your knowledge on these
vital topics.
To get the most from this quiz, first...
Read this
overview of high-nurturance families.
Forming and living from a healthy grieving policy is a vital component
of family nurturance.
Study these slide presentations on
(your) normal personality subselves,
psychological wounds, and wound-recovery.
These widespread, unseen wounds can hinder healthy grief. If you have
trouble viewing the slides, see
and/or read the text versions
here and here.
Expect
to learn some useful things here;
Choose an undistracted place and time
to respond to the items below. You can't "fail" this quiz - just
learn from it!.
Print the quiz, and scan all the
items before responding. Follow any links online after you finish
to learn more.
Rate yourself. From 1 (very ineffective griever) to 10 (very effective
griever), how effective a griever are you? ____
We'll revisit this question after you finish the quiz...
"Good Grief" Quiz
1)
Five
related
that promote
widespread personal, marital, and family stress are:
2) What is human
attachment or
, and how does it
happen?
3)
What
can
the normal ability to form human bonds?
Blocked
have little reason to grieve,
and may appear to be
cold, distant, impersonal,
over-analytic, unfeeling, uncaring, detached,
and aloof.
Do you know anyone like that?
For extra credit -
do you know what this inability to bond is
called by
professionals?
4)
In
a healthy-grieving context,
what is a
5)
What's the important difference between a
change and a loss
?
6) Name
the two kinds of personal losses: ____________________ and
____________________ .
7) Name at least eight common
kinds of broken
psychological bonds (losses) other than death:
__________________________________ _______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
8)
Describe
two ways
personal bonds get
broken.
9) What are the
of
wholistically-healthy grieving?
10)
What are the specific
phases of each of
these three levels, and how can you tell when each stage
is “done”?
Level 1 phases:
____________________, ______________________, _____________________,
__________________________,
and ________________________.
Level 2 phases:
__________________, __________________, ___________________,
________________, and _________________;
Level 3 phases: __________________, ___________________,
___________________,
and _________________.
11)
for healthy three-level mourning are:
__________________________________ _______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________,
and
__________________________________
12)
Describe
specifically what “blocked
grief” is:
13)
Name
at least six
of
incomplete or blocked grief:
__________________________________ _______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
14) Name
four or more typical personal consequences of
incomplete or blocked grief in a child or adult:
__________________________________ _______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
15)
Describe
(a) what
to grieve” means, and (b) how to tell if an adult or child really
has solid inner permission:
16)
Describe
what
to grieve” means, and how to tell if an adult or child really
has solid outer permission:
17)
Name at least
three reasons
that adults and kids from
childhoods
may have trouble grieving losses effectively:
18) Why
is major progress on the first two
family projects necessary
for success at this fifth Good-grief project?
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
Note: adults in average
need progress on two more Projects:
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
19)
How long does
effective grieving take?
20)
Describe
the difference between a
and "anti-grief" relationship or family:
21) Describe (a)
at least four things typical "losers" need from
their supporters, and (b) "effective grief support."
__________________________________ _______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
Effective
grief support is...
22) Name at least
four specific things family adults can do to help free up blocked grief:
23)
Describe
an effective or healthy personal and family
24) Say your personal and family grieving policies out loud now, and where
you learned them. "No policy" is a policy!
25) Compare your current grieving policies with the policies of each of your
main childhood caregivers, and the family you grew up in. Would you say
each of these policies is/was wholistically healthy or toxic?
26) Name the five
most impactful losses (broken bonds) in your life so far:
27) On a
scale of 1 (I've never grieved this loss) to 10 (I have fully accepted
this loss), rate how well-grieved each of these losses is now.
If you're not in a
family
or
and don't expect to be, skip to #30.
28)
Name at least six typical
physical and invisible
losses resulting from family
separation
and/or
__________________________________ _______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
29)
Name at least six
typical
physical and
invisible
losses typical adults and kids commonly experience from
(a) stepfamily
re/marriage and (b) combining households (cohabiting):
__________________________________ _______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
30)
Name five or more
reasons that incomplete or blocked
grief in an adult or child causes major personal and relationship problems.
31)
On a scale
of 1 (very ineffective griever)
to 10 (very effective
griever), how effective a griever are you?
____. Would the people who know you best agree with your rating? Option:
rate the grieving effectiveness of each person you care deeply about.
32)
Is your
(capital "S")
to this quiz, or
Awarenesses...
Pause and reflect - what are you
now? For perspective, I've met very few people who could answer most of these
questions accurately. Option: think of the adults you know best - do
you think they could answer most of these quiz items? Would they be
interested in trying to do so? If not, they're at risk of the toxic effects
of incomplete or blocked grief.
Premise - our ancestors and
current society have generally ignored or minimized the importance of
loss-awareness and
healthy personal and family grieving. If you agree, consider these three practical
options you have for raising others'
awareness of this vital life and relationship skill - starting in your own
home and family...
|
The
good news: with (a) your wise, resident true Self
you, and (b) patient study and reflection,
you can learn the
answers to all of these quiz items and (c) enhance your ability to do
good grief. Doing
this is vital for high family nurturance, personal
health, and new-relationship
|
Is there someone else you'd like to discuss this quiz and related info with?
If so, is anything in the way of your doing so now?
Pause, breathe, and recall why you took this quiz on healthy-grief basics. Did you get what you
needed? If not - what
you need?
Who's answering these questions - your wise, resident
or
Continue learning
here,
and/or (a) follow selected links above, (b) scan the Project-5
link-index and these selected
books
on "good grief," and (c) review these Q&A items about "good
grief."
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