The Web address of this
three-page article is
http://sfhelp.org/basics/respect.htm
Continued
from page 2...
We've reviewed options for improving (a) your self-respect, and (b)
respect for another person. Now let's look at options
for...
C) Earning Others'
Respect
Think of people you're sure respect (vs. "like") you - as a person, a
wo/man, a friend, a family mem-ber, and/or in some special role. How did you
earn their admiration and value? What is it about you they respect -
specifically? Did you set out to earn their respect intentionally, or did it
occur "by itself"?
Would you agree that in most growing relationships, trust, respect,
approval, acceptance, and genu-ine interest evolve together via shared
experiences? If so - and you want to earn someone else's respect for you -
then consider these options:
-
your true Self
of your
regardless of what the other person thinks of you.
-
adopt a patient outlook. Earning genuine
respect and trust is a long-term project!
-
meditate on why you need this person
to respect you. Can you live well enough without it? Does someone else
(like a friend, parent, or mate) need you to earn the person' respect?
-
affirm or grow your
self-respect. It's
hard to admire someone who feels badly about themselves (yes?);
-
assess what
you've been broadcasting to the other person. If your false self
has projected c/overt disapproval and scorn, you may harvest the same
attitude in return.
-
assess
whether the other person is significantly
If so, the wounds and distorted percep-tions may be causing the
disrespect, not you. If so, use these wise
-
ask the person (vs. assuming) what s/he
expects of you - specifically. It's possible s/he may have unrealistic
expectations. If so, assert that reality, and then let go.
-
decide whether you need to forgive
yourself and/or the other person for some past hurts or
disap-pointments. If so, try that - and see what happens.
-
decide whether there's any value in seeking
to grow trust, approval, and
respect separately.
-
ask the person (a) what qualities s/he respects in
other people, and/or (b) specifically
what s/he needs in order to
respect you more. Then decide if you can - and want to - fill his
or her needs without losing your
-
add your own options for meriting respect...
Pause and reflect: how do you feel about what you just read? Is your
Self
or 'someone else'?
# Status Check See where you
stand on the ideas in this article: T(rue), F(alse), or "?" (I'm not
sure / I don't care).
I
have
honestly for false-self dominance, and
I am
steadily working at any
I need. (T F ?)
I believe my self
respect is currently high enough, as _ a person, _ a wo/man, _ a _____;
or I’m proactively working to raise my self respect now. (T F ?)
I'm clear enough on my criteria for
respecting myself or anyone else (T F ?)
I'm clear enough on my options for
raising my respect of another person now (T F ?)
I'm clear enough on my options for
earning someone else's respect of me now. (T F ?)
I feel a mix of calm,
centered, energized, light, focused, resilient,
up, grounded, relaxed, alert, aware, serene,
purposeful, and clear, so
my true Self is probably answering these
questions. (T F ?)
Recap
This article is one of a series on maintaining satisfying, healthy relationships. It offers...
Also see improving respect between mates and
ex mates, improving
trust between people, and improving
relations among family members.
Take a moment to breathe well, and notice your
now. What’s going on
among your busy
Recall why you read
this article. Did you get what you needed?
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