An overview of the guidebook for co-parent Projects 1-7: "Stepfamily Courtship"

The Guidebook for Co-parent Projects 1-7
STEPFAMILY COURTSHIP -
Make three right re/marital choices
By Peter Gerlach, MSW
Retired Board member
Stepfamily Association of America

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Many stepfamily authors and commentators estimate that over 50% of typical American stepfamilies eventually divorce legally. Many millions more divorce psychologically. One of five combined reasons for this tragic trend seems to be that typical needy, uninformed, unaware courting co-parents make up to three unwise courtship commitment decisions - they choose the wrong people (adults and kids) to commit to, for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time.

This unique, practical guidebook for courting co-parents and their lay and professional supporters offers experience-based suggestions and resources to help them make three informed, wise courtship choices for themselves and their dependent kids (or grandkids). This resource book integrates - and provides cross-references to - key Web articles on seven concurrent courtship projects which prepare couples to make wise long-term decisions. Stepfamily Courtship fills a crucial gap in the current array of published stepfamily and re/marital materials.

For experience-based perspective on selecting useful stepfamily-related books, see this. For related perspective on considering stepfamily advice, see this.

Table of Contents

14 Courtship Danger Signs ..................................................	9
Acknowledgements .............................................................	17
PART 1) - FOUNDATIONS	19
1) Introduction .....................................................................	21
2) Get the Most From This Book ..........................................	32
3) What’s a High-nurturance Family? ....................................	48
4) Why Most U.S. Re/marriages Fail .....................................	69
5) A Pre-re/marriage Quiz .....................................................	83
6) Stepfamily Realities .........................................................	91
7) One Stepfamily’s Story ....................................................	98
8) 12 Long-term Co-parent Projects ........................................	122
PART 2) - SEVEN COURTSHIP PROJECTS	135
Project 1: Assess For Inner Wounds ......................................	137
Project 2: Learn Effective Problem-solving ...............................	167
Project 3: Accept Your Stepfamily Identity .............................	199
Project 4: Form Realistic Expectations ..................................	233
Project 5A) Learn Good-Grief Basics......................................	248
Project 5B) Free Blocked Grief .............................................	287
Project 6: Draft a Mission Statement and Co-parent "Job-descriptions" .................................................	325
Project 7: Decide If You Should Re/marry Now........................	353
17) Summary and next steps...............................................	385
PART 3) - RESOURCES	399
A) Traits of False-self Dominance .........................................	401
B) Typical Traits of Codependence ......................................	412
C) Stepfamilies vs. Intact Biofamilies ...................................	422
D) Personal-priorities Worksheet .........................................	446
E) What your Minor (Step)kids Need .................................	453
F) Summary: Three Right Re/marriage Choices ...................	480
G) Stepfamily Relationship Terms .......................................	492
H) Selected Resources .........................................................	537
Index ...................................................................................	551

Mail order this comprehensive, unique modular reference book as a hardcover or softcover from Xlibris.com or other online and "brick-and-mortar" booksellers. Also note the other volumes in this practical series for co-parents and their supporters.

I'd value any questions you have about the book or series, or feedback about it. I hope you find these books and related Web resources clear, informative, inspiring, and useful!

- Peter Gerlach

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Updated 25 June, 2008