About "I" Messages
They are a better way to assert your needs than hinting,
demanding, or using blameful "you" messages:
"When you
(describe your
partner's behavior factually, in a way that could be recorded on tape)...
... then (describe
factually and specifically how your life is affected);"
(optional)
"and I need
you to..." (describe a specific change you need, and perhaps a con-sequence if
your partner declines to make it.)
Example: "Pat,
when you
keep working on the PC when I'm talking
to you, then I feel ignored and
disrespected, and I need you
to want to stop and focus on me." //
more detail
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