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address of this quiz is http://sfhelp.org/cx/quiz2.htm
Updated
12-29-2014
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All
adults and kids depend on their ability to think and communicate
effectively to fill their personal and social needs. From observing over 1000
typical adults and couples since 1979, I've found that typical people are ineffective
communicators - and they don't know why or what's possible.
Two tragic results are that few people are motivated to learn how to
optimize their communication skills and outcomes. That
means that typical kids grow up assuming that living with the results of ineffective thinking and communication is normal.
They don't realize their potential!
This quiz is one of a
series
of Lesson-2 articles
describing effective thinking, communicating, and problem-solving.
The series outlines seven learnable communication
skills that are essential for building high-nurturance relationships and resolving
personal and social conflicts effectively.
Learn something about yourself with this 1-question
anonymous poll.
This YouTube clip previews key questions in this quiz:
Use this quiz to assess what
you need to learn about communication basics. It comes from
over 40 years' study and teaching
effective communication skills to hundreds of adults and kids.
Options
Expect to learn something valuable from
this quiz;
Print
the quiz and make at least 30" of undistracted time to write your answers
here or on another sheet of paper.
or...
Try answering each question out loud as you
go, and/or try doing so with
another interested person. Answer each question before following any links.
Put your curser over words in red letters to read a clarification.
Consider
journaling about your thoughts and feelings as you
answer these questions. They're just as instructive as your answers!
Use your reaction to this quiz as incentive to study
(at least)
Lessons 1 and 2 in this self-improvement Web site.
Before taking the quiz,
rate yourself from 1 (“I know nothing about
communication”) to 10(“I could teach a college course on it”) ...
My communication effectiveness with important adults and kids
recently is ___ in calm times, and ___ in typical conflicts.
Imagine that this quiz is part of a test you and your mate would
each have to pass to qualify for a marriage or child-conception license.
Imagine what might happen to the relationship-counseling industry and
divorce rate if this were required.
Recall: underlined links will take you to a new window. Usually the
answer you seek is at the top of that page. Suggestion: read the answer and
close the window, rather than reading the whole new page and defocusing from
this quiz.
8) What are the
three "channels" all adults and kids
use to send and receive their communication messages? What happens when the
received messages on these channels
don't match?
9)
What are the five messages we all
automatically decode from each other in any communication exchange, and
which of these always determines our communication effectiveness?
10) What are the
two most important factors that determine communication effectiveness in any
situation?
11) Why is it
impossible for two people in a relationship to
not
communicate?
12) (a)
What are
at least 10 common communication blocks, and
(b)
what can I do about each of them?
(list separately)
13) (a)
What are the
16 possible outcomes of any communication exchange,
and (b) which is the only one that allows both partners to feel
"successful"? This
concept is critical if you want to become
fluent in identifying how often you communicate effectively
in key situations and over time.
14)(a)
What are the seven related
skills
any adult can learn to improve their communication outcomes, and (b)
how do the skills relate to each other? If you can't describe each skill,
you're probably not using it.
15)
(a) What are
four common
'awareness zones'
in each communication partner, and (b) which combination of them is
required for effective communication outcomes?
16) (a) What are at least 15 of the ~45 everyday
concepts I can learn to help me
assess and improve my communication successes? Examples:
"flooding," double messages, defocusing, interrupting, assuming (mind reading),
intellectualizing, and generalizing (list separately). (b) Of these 15, which are the
most
important, and why?
18) (a) How can I identify
fuzzy thinking, and (b) what
can I do to reduce it in important
relationships and situations?
19) How do my and my partner's
'emotion levels' affect our ability to hear
each other clearly?
20) (a) What's the vital difference between listening and
hearing? (b) How does listening
well
affect my physical health?
21) What's the
most effective choice I have with a communication
partner who's too upset to hear me now?
22)What are the keys to giving
effectivefeedback and
praise to other people?
23) Why are effective communications usually
harder to achieve at
home than elsewhere?
24) What's my
gender got to do with how effective
my communication is?
25)(a) What are the
three or four parts
to most interpersonal conflicts, (b) which one should I focus on
first in key situations, and
(c)
which communication
skill do I need to do that?
26)
(a)
How can I spot
internal conflicts and
(b) usually
resolve them?
35) (a) What are
communication sequences and patterns, and
(b)
why
should I be aware of them with key people in my life?
36) How
can I graphically
map (diagram) key communication
sequencesand patterns to spot and resolve problems between my
subselves or between me and any partner using the seven skills?
38) How can I learn to express
hurt,
frustration, and anger
(confront)
effectively, without undue anxiety
(worry), guilt,
and/or shame?
39)
(a) Why do I and others lie at times? (b) If I lie "too much," how can I
reduce that safely? (c) If key others lie to me, can I do anything to
reduce
that?
40) (a) What's the
difference between
requesting and demanding, and
(b) how can I
tell the difference in
communicating
with a partner?
Pause, breathe, and notice your
thoughts and feelings
with interest. Now try this again: on a scale of 1 (“I know nothing about
communication”) to 10 (“I could teach a college course on it”)...
My general
communication
effectiveness with my mate or another important adult or
child
recently is __ in calm times, and __ in typical conflicts.
Has anything changed?
How did
you do with this quiz? Can you better appreciate the premise that "most
adults don't know what they don't know about effective
communications?" How many of these questions could key family adults answer? Older kids? If you all could answer
all these questions clearly and
spontaneously, what would that mean to your family?
Did you learn anything about these questions in your early schooling? Do you
think average modern schools teach the answers to these questions and why these
thinking and communication basics are vitally important to people, groups,
organizations, and societies?
Are you
modeling effective communication for the young people in your life? What
if someone had coached you to learn the answers to these questions before you left home?
Lesson 2 in this nonprofit Web site offers perspective on and answers to these
questions, to help your family members fill more of your daily needs more often
in mutually-satisfying ways. Doing this depends on your
true Self
leading your
other
personality subselves
most of the time
(Lesson 1). The unique, practical
guidebook for Lesson-2 is
Satisfactions (Xlibris.com, 2nd ed., 2010).
Recap
This 41-item quiz is designed to test your knowledge of
effective-communication basics and skills. It demonstrates how much
average adults don't know they don't know about the essential process of
communicating with their subselves and other people. The value of
effective thinking and communicating is in getting more of your normal
and special needs met more often - i.e. living a more productive,
fulfilling life!
Continue
studying ad-fee Lesson 2. then take this quiz
again to enjoy how much you've learned!
Pause, breathe, and reflect - why did you take this quiz? Did you get
what you needed? If so, what do you want to do now? If not, what
do you need? Who's
answering
these questions - your
true Self,
or
'someone else.'?