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This
series is under construction.
This article introduces a
series for human-service
professionals on
effective
counseling and ther-apy with typical (a) low-nurturance ("dysfunctional")
families and (b)
survivors of childhood neglect
and trauma -
Grown Wounded Children
(GWCs).
I am
an ex-engineer, business manager,
educator, and a
veteran
family-systems
therapist. I've specialized in work
with divorcing-family, stepfamily, and trauma-recovery
(wounded) clients since 1981.This
article introduces a framework of what I've learned about
providing effective help to these multi-problem persons and families.
This series is written to typicalstudent and prac-ticing clinicians and
their instructors, consultants, pro-gram designers and directors, employers, and evaluators.
Most of the ideas here
apply to raising the harmony and productivity of
any person and human group. Most of these articles are outlines with links
to more detail.
Download, link to, and/or cite any of these articles if you don't intend to profit financially. Please cite
me as the author (Peter K. Gerlach, MSW), and this Web site
(Break the Cycle! - www.sfhelp.org) as the source. If you wish to
profit from these articles or guidebooks, see
this.
Some of the ideas here probably differ from what
you were taught. To get the most from them, I invite you to
choose the unbiased curiosity of a
student. To understand what I'm trying to express,
com-pare these
clinical and
lay terms and definitions to
yours.
This non-profit Web site and professional series are based on these
general and clinical
premises. The extent to which you
accept them will determine how useful you find the ideas in this site and
series.
What's Different About This Clinical Model?
Here, model means a set of experience-based premises about (a)
effective therapeutic assessment of - and interventions with -
psychologically
wounded
people and
low-nurturance
families. Therapeutic means "improving
wholistic health
and systemic nurturance levels." It includes experiential and didactic
learning.
This
model is
based on 30 years' clinical research and experience with over 1,000 Midwestern-US individual and
family clients. It is the opposite of short term, problem-focused therapy.
It is a unique com-bination of paradigms, including...
definitions of
"high-nurturance" (functional) relationships and families; and...
a systemic approach to
assessment, intervention, and the therapeutic process; and...
an internal-family
systemic model of human personalities, including a true Self and false
self; and...
a theory of epidemic
psychological wounding from low-nurturance childhoods; and an inherited
cycle of [wounds + adult unawarenesses] caused by public ignorance and
denials; and...
a scheme of human
motivation and change, based on filling surfaced and underlying needs
- i.e. reducing emotional + physical + spiritual discomforts; and...
integration of
spirituality (vs. religion) in individual and family functioning and the
therapeutic process; and...
a construct about
effective thinking, communicating, and problem solving;. and
proposals about human
bonding, losses, and three-level grieving; and...
a strategic mix of couple + family + individual (intrapsychic)
foci and modalities - presenting > family > couple > individual
(psychodynamic). and...
a comprehensive
multi-element construct about the special needs and functioning of
typical divorcing families and
stepfamilies,
starting in courtship.
This model
rejects the pre-systemic medical-model of personal pathology, and emphasizes
prevention over stress reduction.
How to Best Use These Clinical Articles
The articles in this series
for professionals (and Web site) are modular rather than sequential. An inevitable tradeoff is some redundancy
among the articles. Get the most from this Web site by...
studying these readings
first, and note your (subselves') reactions.
staying aware of what you seek - personally
and professionally - as you study;
study the
model and related articles with an open mind. Take what is useful, and
leave the rest; and...
consider discussing these ideas with your family members,
clients or patients, students, and co-workers as you study
them.
Overview of Clients' Primary Problems
Typical clients seek counseling or therapy
for a wide range of surface problems, but the primary prob-lems that cause
them are relatively few. In my experience, they are combinations of these:
One or more
family adults has significant false-self wounds - and doesn't (want to) know that or what it means to them
personally, maritally, and
parentally. Until Grown Wounded
Children hit personal bottom - often in mid-life - they seldom commit to
owning and reducing their wounds
Most adults and all kids are
unaware of effective communication basics and
skills, and can't
think
and
problem-solve effectively. They
can't identify what they really need, because they don't
know what they need to know. Significant false-self wounds always
amplify ineffective thinking and problem-sol-ving among family members.
Because of their psychological wounds and
unawareness,
many needy
couples commit to the wrong partner, for the wrong reasons, at the wrong
time - specially in re/marriages. This inexorably causes escalating relationship and parental
frustrations and conflicts over time, and cannot be undone.
The most productive clinical
option is to educate and motivate couples to make informed choices
before they commit!
Client families often have ineffective or toxic
anger and
grieving policies, and one or more members aren't
finished grieving major
losses (broken bonds). This
promotes a wide range of
surface problems
(symptoms) like "depression," rage attacks, social isolation, (some)
obesity, and addictions These usually cause a web of secondary
systemic problems themselves.
Wounded,
unaware caregivers can't adequately identify and fill their minor kids'
developmental and family-adjustment
needs. This causes a wide range of personal and behavioral
problems in the kids, and between kids and other people.
Often adult
clients need to believe one or more children are the problem, rather
than admit their own wounds + ignorances and a
low-nurturance
family environment. Those that do admit the latter usually don't know
what to do about it.
Typical divorcing and stepfamily couples, ex mates,
relatives, and kids have a web of alien concurrent, systemic problems
like these.
Premise - the
effectiveness
of any counseling or therapy
depends on the clinician's (a) qualifications
and (b) ability to accurately assess each of these problems and intervene
strategically to facilitate adult clients learning how to avoid and manage
them.
Options
What
you do next with these clinical articles and ideas will depend on many
factors.
In general, I respectfully suggest that you...
Honestly
assess
which subselves usually control your personality - in calm and
stressful situations with your family members, clients, patients,
students, and co-workers. Work
toward having your true Self
guide
your other subselves in all situations.
Review and refine your definitions of...
what specific primary needs
you're trying to satisfy via the profession and setting you've
chosen; and...
The clearer you are on each of these, the
better able you'll be to gauge and improve your evolving professional
success with the people you serve and work with.
By definition, effective clinical work
promotes beneficial changes in client systems. Refresh and refine your
understanding of why subself and family systems
change or don't change. Then keep these
timeless
truths
in mind as you live and work.
Commit to a self-education program on
relevant aspects of this clinical model. At the minimum, I urge you to
study all these slide
presentations with an open mind. They offer many links to more
detail on each topic. These core topics have personal and professional
benefits.
Apply these ideas first to your family and
most prized relationships, and note the results over time. Then
apply them to your co-workers and the people you serve. Option -
evaluate the nurturance-level of the organization you work in, and (b) how it affects your
wholistic health and your
professional effectiveness and satisfaction.
Invite your supervisor, consultants, and
co-workers to consider and discuss the main ideas in this
series of clinical articles. Premise
- The more you all agree and practice your version of these ideas
together, the higher your group nurturance
level, clinical effectiveness, and personal and shared
satisfactions.
Get clear on your choice to (a) help those
you serve reduce thesestressors in their families, (b) to
prevent the toxic effects of the
[wounds + ignorance]
cycle in families, couples, families, and your community, state, or society,
or (c) work at both goals.
Review these common clinical
errors and blocks relative to your work, and decide which - if any - you want
to proactively reduce over time. Note who's deciding this - your true
Self (capital "S"), or some other subselves.
Pause, breathe, and reflect on your (dominant subselves') reactions to these
options. Which appeal to you and which don't? Why?
Recap
This
article introduces a series of Web articles and resources for professional
counselors, thera-pists, life coaches, family-life educators, and the people who support them. The series
proposes a unique model of assessment and interventions based
on (a) the theories of many clinical veterans, and (b) my learnings as a
family-systems therapist since
1981.
The
article summarizes how this clinical model
differs from others, how to
best use the ideas in the series, and summarizes
core problems that typical low-nurturance family
clients seek clinical help to solve. The article closes with
specific suggestions about useful next steps.
These
clinical articles aim to expand your awareness of what you and your
clients, patients, students, and colleagues need to...
break the legacy of
the lethal [wounds + ignorance]
cycle, and...
raise your and their wholistic
health, nurturance levels, and daily
satisfactions.
Pause, breathe, and reflect - why did you read this article? Did you get
what you needed? If not, what do you need? Who's
answering
these questions - your
true Self,
or
someone else?
The Web address of this
article is
http://sfhelp.org/etx/intro.htm 
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