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Toward effective service to
individuals, divorcing
families, and stepfamilies |
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A Model of Effective Clinical Work
with Low-nurturance Families and
Childhood-trauma Survivors
p. 1 of 2
By Peter K.
Gerlach,
MSW |
 The Web address of this article is
http://sfhelp.org/etx/model.htm
Clicking any link in these pages will open an informational popup or new
window, so please turn
off your browser's popup blocker or accept popups from this nonprofit site.
This
research-based Web site exists to...
-
motivate people to stop the toxic [wounds + unawareness]
-
improve the
of typical
families, and...
-
reduce epidemic American
divorce.
This
article is one of a series on
professional counseling, coaching, and therapy with
(a) these families, and with (b) typical
of childhood
and trauma.
In
these articles, "co-parent" means any part-time or full-time caregiving adult in
a divorcing family or stepfamily. The "/" in re/marriage and re/divorce notes it
may be a stepparent's first union. These articles for professionals are under construction.
Before
continuing, pause and reflect - why are you reading this article?
What do you
Option - There are many hyperlinks in this article. To
preserve your focus, consider scanning the whole article and
then go back and follow links of interest.
This article offers...
-
perspective on why effective counseling and therapy with divorcing-family and
stepfamily clients is harder than with other types of family, and...
-
a summary of five elements
of a clinical model of effective clinical work with these complex families.
This is written to student and practicing
counselors, life-coaches, and therapists and
their instructors, consultants, employers, program managers, and evaluators. Most of the principles
in this model apply to any human group.
|
To get the most from
this and related articles, first study this
slide presentation
on the toxic [wounds + unawareness] cycle that I believe is
progressively stressing our culture. If the slides don't display
properly, see
and/or this text article. |
Perspective
Families have existed in every age and culture because they are best able to
fill a range of primal
of their adults, kids, and societies. Families' ability to fill their
members' local and developmental needs (i.e. to nurture) varies from low
("dysfunctional") to high ("functional"). Counselors and therapists exist to
help family adults (a) avoid and reduce systemic stressors, and (b) nurture their members
more effectively - i.e. to help their
kids and adults fill their dynamic mix of needs more often.
Demographers estimate that almost half of recent American marriages have ended in
Uncounted millions of
other mates and their families endure psychological divorce. This
implacably suggests that well over half of typical current U.S. families have a
significantly low nurturance level. This in turn suggests serious effects on
all family members and society.
Single-parent families with children become a
when
a widow/er or divorced bioparent commits to a new partner.
This stepparent may or
may not be a bioparent. Many recent authors and researchers estimate that
typical American stepfamily marriages fail more often than first
marriages.
If true, this implies that the majority of U.S. stepfamilies are
not nurturing their members well, despite their co-parents' best efforts. Restated -
adults in typical divorcing families and stepfamilies need
informed, skilled professional guidance and education to help them fill their members'
needs adequately.
My stepfamily research and clinical experience since 1979 suggests
that most graduate schools and professional societies who train counselors
and therapists don't adequately prepare clinicians to provide effective
professional help to these complex, multi-problem families. In other words, most human-service providers (like you)
and organizations don't know what they need to know
to provide effective service to these clients.
Providing effective counseling and therapy to
typical divorcing families and stepfamilies is more challenging than
working with average intact first-marriage couples and families because
they...
-
have
living in more
homes, trying to master more concurrent personal and family
problems; and...
-
their family adults and supporters have little or no
awareness of...
-
this toxic cycle of [psychological
+
that spreads down the generations unless family adults
admit and break it;
-
these
five related
that will significantly stress their family members,
and...
-
ignorance of up to six vital
about themselves and human relations; and typical adults are unaware of ...
-
these 12
protective
required for co-parents to (a) stabilize systemic changes from divorce
or mate-death, (b) make three wise, informed remarital
and
(c) evolve a
stepfamily together.
And typical extended
-
have up to 30
that need
to be re/defined and negotiated as three or more co-parents try to
and stabilize their
biofamilies over
many years; and they...
-
have more
developmental stages and adjustment
tasks for family adults and
kids than typical intact biofamilies; and
these complex, multi-problem families have...
-
significant odds of
incomplete
of prior death or divorce-related
(broken bonds);
and they have...
-
more and more-complex
and
conflicts and
associated relationship
than typical
intact-biofamily clients; and...
-
typical co-parents
(bioparents, stepparents, and other family nurturers) ignore or discount their
causing
significant stress
from
unrealistic role and relationship expectations.
And clinical work with these families is more complex because...
Paradox - typical stepfamilies are
to intact
biofamilies in a number of ways, so uninformed clinicians may assume
"standard" family-system principles will be effective. At the same time, typical stepfamilies can differ structurally, dynamically,
and developmentally
from intact biofamilies in over
60
ways! Clinicians, supervisors, consultants, case managers, and
policy makers
need to be fluent with these
differences and what they
in
order to provide
to these complex,
needy client families.
Premise - all social role and relationship
"problems" stem from two interactive factors: adults' (a) psychological
from low-nurturance childhoods, and (b) their
ignorance of basic information about
personalities and relationships + effective
+
and healthy
+ effective
+ (for some)
stepfamily
and
The more
knowledgeable clinicians (like you) are about (a) these interrelated factors and (b)
causing desired second-order (permanent) systemic change, the higher
their odds of
satisfying clinical outcomes.
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To my knowledge, there are
very few informed books or programs available to help
human-service providers work effectively with these complex multi-problem, multi-home
families. The articles in this nonprofit Web site and the and related
guidebooks for clinicians and
lay people aim to reduce that void.
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An Overview of
the Model
This unique clinical model has five parts:
-
Theoretical foundations,
including a definition of
-
A definition of a clinical
metasystem (system of systems),
including the client-family system;
-
An experience-based framework of...
-
a three-step proposal for
preventing
family stress and divorce; and...
-
Relevant resources for clinicians, clinical organizations,
and clients.
Here is brief perspective and
links to more detail on each of these elements.
1) Theoretical
Foundations
My clinical training and experience since 1979 has integrated the work of
four groups of respected theoreticians and veteran human-service
professionals into this clinical
model:
-
Human-development and
family-system pioneers, principally Erik Erickson, Virginia Satir,
Murray Bowen, Carl Rogers, Jay Haley, Patricia Papp, Salvador Minuchin, Carl Rogers,
Carl Whitaker, John Gardner, Nathaniel Branden, Judith Wallerstein,
Steven Covey, Froma Walsh, and the "Milan Group" - Palazzoli, Boscolo,
Checchin, and Prata;
-
Intrapsychic, communication, and clinical-hypnosis pioneers, including
Abraham Maslow, Gregory Bateson, Milton Erickson, Francis Barber, Paul
Watzlawic, John Weakland, Richard Fish, Eric Berne, Claude Steiner,
Neale Walsch, Anne Moir, Jeffery Zeig, Thomas Harris, Hal and Sidra Stone,
Alexander Lowen, Richard Schwartz, Larry Dossey, John Masterson,
Fritz Perls, Steven Gilligan, Harville Hendrix, Roberto Assagioli, John
Rowan, Deborah Tannen, Robert Bolton, and many others;
-
Childhood-trauma recovery pioneers,
including Bill Wilson et. al., Claudia Black, John Bradshaw, Sharon Wegsheider-Cruse, Janet
Woititz, Charles Whitfield, John and Linda Friel, Rokelle Lerner, Alice
Miller, Jane Middleton-Moz, Robert Ackerman,
Anne Smith, Richard Schwartz, John Rowan,
James Masterson, Mary Jo Barrett, Patricia
O'Gorman, Philip Oliver-Diaz,
Anne Wilson Shaef, Julia Cameron, Robert
Subby, and many others; and...
-
Pioneer stepfamily
sociologists, researchers and clinicians, including Andrew Cherlin,
A. J. Norton, Larry Bumpass, Jeffrey Larson, Paul Glick, J. A.
Sweet, Esther Wald, John and Emily Visher, Cliff
Sager et. al, Kay Pasley, Marilyn Ihinger-Tallman, and more recently John Bray, Margaret Newman,
Elizabeth Einstein, Patricia Papernow, and others.
The five-element model proposed here is based on (a) a mosaic of ideas
from these scores of wise practitioners, theoreticians, and researchers; and (b) my experience
at integrating and selectively using my version of their ideas in my clinical practice with over
1,000 self-referred Midwestern-US co-parents since 1981.
 For links to detail on the
premises (theories) that comprise this model, see
this. Note that except for
some of the third group of people above, none of the others
incorporated ideas on normal personality subselves and wounds into their paradigms.
The second element of this clinical model is a group of interrelated premises
about...
2) The
Clinical Metasystem, Including
Client-family Systems
A "system" consists of a boundary containing elements
(subsystems), which interact according to identifiable rules. A
metasystem is a system of systems. Premise - clinical outcomes
with divorcing-family and stepfamily (or any) clients is significantly
shaped by the dynamic metasystem composed of....
-
the multi-generational client
and any support
groups they're using regularly;
-
the social and earthly environmental systems that interact
with the client-family system;
-
the system of clinician/s + coworkers +
administrators + policy makers + funders + support staff;
-
any case-consultants and their organizations,
including clergy, welfare, adoption, and/or foster parenting workers;
-
local and state family laws and legislators + any local law enforcement and
judicial (court) systems
affecting a specific clinical case;
-
local and state professional oversight, licensing, and regulatory
agencies, policies, and laws;
-
any involved healthcare insurers and their policies, representatives,
and assets; and...
-
related human-service organizations - e.g.
AMA, NASW, APA, etc.
The mix of these metasystem elements is unique for every client. It is too complex to
practically evaluate
how these elements are affecting a client's dynamic family system. The challenge to
systemic clinicians is to identify key influences of any of these subsystems on (a) their client-system's nurturance level and
(b) the clinician, and (c) the evolving clinical process. Restated - to
provide effective service,
clinicians need to be aware of how this complex metasystem may affect keeping
their and their client-adults'
in charge of their respective
in and outside of the clinical process.
 Clinical Requisites
A vital component of this clinical metasystem is the degree to which each
human-service provider involved with a given client family meets these four
requirements:
-
Special
didactic and experiential
knowledge; and...
-
Key personal traits, including...
-
their
steadily
their "inner
family" of personality subselves, and...
-
clear self-awareness and
and
-
key attitudes about the these
complex client family systems and clinical work with them; and...
-
unique
(vs. basic) clinical
skills, and...
-
A high-nurturance, well-informed
work
environment, and...
-
Special
professional
and client
resources.
For more
detail on each factor, follow the links.
The next element in this clinical model has three parts: (a) basic traits of
these client families, (b) a three-level framework of common family
stressors, and (c) a multi-modal framework for effective assessment,
intervention, and case supervision with these family systems.
3a) Divorcing-family and
Stepfamily Traits
This model builds on accepted personal and
family-development concepts to propose three paths that typical
single-parent families who become stepfamilies may follow. Factors that shape which path a given client
family follows include...
-
the mosaic of each family-member's
and
the family adults' ability to
consistently fill those needs.
-
whether each mate chose the right
(plural) to commit
to, for the right
at the right
-
the degree of unawareness and psychological
woundedness in each family adult;
-
typical
stepchild developmental and
family-adjustment needs, and
how qualified each family adult is to
fill those needs effectively while nurturing themselves and each
other well enough;
-
how knowledgeable each family adult is on effective
communication, problem-solving, and grieving basics, and the related
family policies on these that they evolve and live by;
-
the spiritual beliefs and practices of each family
adult;
-
over 70
structural,
dynamic, and developmental factors distinguishing typical
stepfamily systems from intact ("traditional") biofamily
systems; and...
-
the variable social and environmental conditions
affecting the family, including available
No family can
achieve or maintain a "perfect" mix of these factors, so their members
experience......
3b) - Three levels of Family
Stressors
The premise that human needs are
suggests three levels of "problems" that reduce family nurturance levels -
(a) presenting or surface problems (symptoms), (b) intermediate problems
(unfilled needs) that cause these symptoms; and (c) two primary causes of
the intermediate stressors - adults' inherited psychological
The latter is steadily promoted by widespread U.S. social ignorance,
denials, and laws. For more detail on this three problem-level concept, see
this.
Clinical implications -
permanently reducing clients' surface and intermediate stressors will
eventually require focused and tailored intrapsychic assessment and
intervention
with individual family adults as an integral part of the overall
systemic treatment plan. Typical clinicians and organizations who discount
or ignore intrapsychic work are apt to promote superficial, temporary
client-system changes at best.
This clinical model uses the two prior elements to propose a framework of...
3c)
Clinical
Assessment and Intervention
Strategies, by Client Type
Premise
- effective service to divorcing-family and stepfamily clients requires a
strategic combination of family-system + couple + intrapsychic (individual)
modalities, over time. Based on
29 years of
actual experience with many hundreds of persons and typical client families,
this model proposes unique assessment and intervention strategies for
six types of client systems, corresponding to a client-family's
position on the typical stepfamily-development
path. The client-types are:
1) legally or psychologically
divorcing families;
2) families where one or more divorcing or
widowed parent is dating a potential new
partner;
3) stepfamilies whose clinical
presenting (surface) problems deny serious
re/marital stress;
4) stepfamilies whose adults admit and focus
on reducing serious re/marital stress,
but deny psychological wounds;
5) divorcing families and stepfamilies
where one or more co-parents admit and want to
reduce serious psychological wounds ("recover"); and...
6) stepfamilies with one or more couples
who are psychologically or legally
re/divorcing.
The
assessment (Dx) and
intervention (Rx) strategies are divided into
(a) those that apply to any of these clients, and (b) those unique to one of
the types. Strategies for type-5 clients include (a)
general options for doing effective
individual inner-family therapy ("parts
work"), and (b) options for
working with a family which includes at least
adult committed to reducing significant personal false-self
For detail on these strategies, follow the links.
This model
follows the timeless wisdom that it is better to teach a starving person how
to fish than to give them a fish. Every human-service provider chooses
whether to focus their efforts and resources on helping troubled families
reduce existing stressors, or on preventing family stress. The model
proposes that divorce-prevention is
ultimately more productive and ecological, and can be implemented via...
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Updated
September 07, 2008
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