Take your time here, and view
this quiz as a high-return, long-term investment. Check each main item
( __ ) you feel clear on, only if you can
confidently check each sub-item ( _ ).
As you answer these items,
imagine on how other key family members (like each of your parents and
grandparents) would respond to (a) each
item, and (b) to taking and discussing this quiz.
Links below will take you to the answers that
are used in this non-profit site. Many answers are offered for
perspective and thought-provoking, not as absolute truths. To stay
focused, consider finishing this inventory before you click on any links
of interest.
Reassure yourself - you don't need to
be a Ph.D. to learn the answers here!
Suggestions:
-
try answering these
items out loud to someone you trust, or to an imaginary group of high-school
seniors.
-
avoid vague generalities, and be as
specific as you can.
-
think of several families you know
well as you consider each item.
-
remind yourself that "I don't know" is a
valid answer!
Ready?
What I Know About Families
__ 1) Define _ "a
family," ("a family is...") and
_ explain why families exist in every animal species, age, and culture -
i.e. define the main purposes of any family (like yours).
__ 2) Describe what would
probably happen to our (or any) society of there were no families.
__ 3) Describe
_
a psychological family, _ specifically how it differs from a
genetic family, and
_ how and _ why
psychological families form.
__ 4) Define _ "a
relationship" and _ at least six
requisites for a mutually-satisfying
relationship.
__ 5) _ Name at least three ways
that family relationships differ from other
relationships, and _ expalin what
that means.
__ 6) Define _ human
bonding, _
pseudo bonding,
_ how bonding differs from dependence (need),
_ how bonds
develop, and _ why some wounded adults and kids
are
__ 7) Explain _ what it means to
belong to a family,
and _ who usually determines a typical family's membership.
__ 8) Describe the people
who comprise _ a nuclear family
and _ an extended family,
and _ why these adjectives can be useful.
__ 9) Name _ at least four
common types of family, _ identify which is the most complex, and _ explain
why.
__ 10) Describe _ what a
stepfamily is, and _ who comprises
(belongs to) a nuclear stepfamily.
__ 11)
Define and illustrate _ what a
need is, and _ the difference between
surface needs and
__ 12) Define
how _ members' and _ society's needs affect any family's
__ 13) Define what
nurturing means in the context of a family.
__ 14) Describe _ what a family's
is, and
_ how it relates to the family's 'functioning.'
__ 15) Define and give examples of a _
high-nurturance (functional) and _
low-nurturance (dysfunctional)
nuclear-family,
and _ name at least 15 of the ~30 traits of a high-nurturance family
__ 16) Name at least 8
developmental needs typical minor kids
depend on family adults to fill well.
__ 17)
Define at least
on
a child of growing
up in a low-nurturance family environment,
__ 18) Describe _ a family
mission statement and _
how it may affect a family's long-term nurturance level.
__ 19) Describe what _
interpersonal and _ family
are, _ what's required for effective bound- aries, and _ how
boundaries can strengthen or degrade a family's nurturance
level.
__ 20) Describe _ what a
family's
is, and _
how adults can benefit from "mapping" (diagram-
ing) their family's structure in troubled times. Option -
after finishing this quiz, try mapping your childhood and current nuclear families and see
what you learn.
__ 21) Define _ family
and _ role
titles, and _ give at least 8 common
examples.
__ 22) Describe and illustrate
family _
role confusion, _ role strain, and _ role
conflict, and _ how each of these relates to a family's nurturance level.
__ 23) _ Define and _ give examples of family
rules and _ explain the difference between effective
and ineffective family
rules.
__ 24) Describe _ the
main
elements of a
and _ explain
how
family adults can use this
knowledge to spot and solve family role, relationship, boundary,
and structural problems.
__ 25) Describe _ when a family
begins, and _ the main
developmental stages of any family
that inclu- des children.
__ 26) Explain _ what
is, _ how it relates to religion, and _ how spirituality
and religion may affect a family's nurturance level.
__ 27) Describe _
family
identity and _ how it
relates
to a family's nurturance level.
__ 28) Define and give examples of a _
and a _
, and _
outline an effective strategy for avoiding or resolving each of
these common family stressors.
__ 29) Describe _ how family
changes relate to
and _ what "effective
grieving" is.
__ 30) Describe and illustrate _ a family
"grieving policy," and _ a
home.
__ 31) Describe _ the
that cause all kids and adults to communicate, and _ the
for
effective communication.
__ 32) Define the
that determines (a) the outcome of any communication, and (b)
significantly affects the
quality of most family (and other) relationships.
__ 33) Define _ effective
and _ "effective
child discipline;" and...
__ 34) Define
_
effective
parenting and _ toxic (harmful) parenting.
__ 35)
Explain the difference between
anger and frustration, and _ define and illustrate
a healthy family
__ 36) Describe at least
three things high-nurturance families contribute to their community and society.
+ + +
Note your thoughts and feelings as you finish this quiz. What
are you aware of now? Is there any-thing special you want to research or
remember from these 36 items? Do you want to show this inventory to anyone and/or
discuss it?
Now compare how you feel about your family-knowledge level
to what you thought before taking the quiz...
|
_ I knew nothing about families
_ I knew far less than I
thought I did
_ I knew about what I thought I
did
|
_ I knew more than I
realized
_ Now I know
all I need to know.
_ I want to learn more
about my family
|
Recall: This is
one of several
basic topics that typical adults need know to evolve a
high-nurturance family and break the crippling [wounds + unawareness]
Test your knowledge of them with these
Now What?
Use options like these to benefit from what you just
learned:
If you haven't recently,
study the [wounds + unawareness]
cycle that may be stressing you and your family (slides
or text). This will help you
benefit from these quizzes.
Practice noticing whether your
is
your
in calm and stress-ful times.
You'll get the most from using
these quizzes and options when s/he is
If there are terms in this quiz
you're unclear on, see this glossary.
If you want to ask other people to take and discuss this
quiz, _ who are they, and _
do you want this?
Note how motivated you are (little >
highly) to invest
time studying the answers to these items. Doing this with one or
more people (like your mate) can be more fun, and will prob-ably be more productive
for all of you.
Try using the terms and concepts in
this quiz in conversations with other family members. See if over
time they help you all raise your awareness, cooperation, and nurturance level.
If you're in a co-parent
support group,
consider using the quizzes in this Web site as a framework for study and
discussion topics.
More options for using this quiz...
Scan these "Questions
Family Adults Should Ask." They offer specific answers to most of the
items in the six quizzes.
Use
these topics as a
framework for educating your
children about their family. They don't know what they need to
know, and probably have confusions they can't articulate.
Give a copy of this quiz
(or all of them) to your kids' teachers, school counselors, and
coaches to help raise their awareness of their own kids and students.
Invest in
one or more
of the six
guidebooks
that integrate most articles and worksheets in this educational Web site. Then study
and discuss these modular books with other family adults and supporters to strengthen your shared knowledge and
family relationships.
If you're
a human-service
use these
to
(a) help design in-service training
programs for your co-workers and supervisors, and (b) educate and empower
your clients and patients.
+++
If a
controls your
you'll probably ignore your quiz results and options like these or postpone acting on them
- and
rationalize this as being "OK."
Right now I feel....
and I'm aware of...
and something I want to do now is...
Recap
This is one of six basic-knowledge quizzes
in this nonprofit Web site. They exist to improve adults' awareness,
relationships, and family nurturance levels. From 28 years' clinical study
and research, this quiz offers 36
questions to help you self-assess your knowledge on families
- your own, and others you care about. This knowledge can help you identify
and reduce harmful
you may not be aware of, and to teach and protect the youngsters in your
life.
All other articles in this Web site use these family concepts to help
you avoid and lower family stress and conflicts, and raise the nurturance
level of your home and extended
family. For more per-spective,
see these Q&A topics and these foundation
articles.
Recall
why you took this quiz. Did
you get what you
?
If you did, what do you need now? If you didn't, what
you need? Who's
these questions - your wise resident
or
+ + +
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The Web
address of this quiz is http://sfhelp.org/fam/quiz5.htm.