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This 2-part YouTube video provides perspective on what you'll find in this
worksheet. The video mentions eight self-improvement lessons - I've reduced
that to seven.
This is one of a series of articles in Lesson 1 in
this Web site - free your
true Self to guide you in
all situations, and
wounds. This is one of several checklists to help you
assess if you or someone you care about
of early-childhood abandonment, neglect, and abuse (trauma).
With your childhood family in mind, read these out loud and notice any thoughts and feelings
Some families provide
higher nurturance for their members (fill more physical
spiritual needs) than
are caused by (a) adults inheriting [psychological wounds and ignorance]
from their ancestors, and (b) societal ignorance and apathy about this
Parental wounds and
ignorance promote unwise child conceptions and abandoning,
neglecting, and abusing (traumatizing) young kids. This promotes
psychological wounds in the kids who grow up and repeat the cycle..
Family trees of significantly-wounded people have specific traits. Some traits (below) are symptoms of
wounds, and other traits are traumas that cause and/or amplify
Low-nurturance childhoods tend to reproduce and spread down the
generations, until a wounded adult
hits bottom and intentionally stops the
cycle via personal
What are you aware of now?
See if your true
Self is guiding you. If s/he
is, you'll feel
a mix of calm, centered, serene, awake, alive, alert, focused, purposeful,
strong, grounded, confidant, and "light." If you don't feel such a mix now,
a well-meaning false self may
skew your answers to this worksheet..
Get a large piece of
blank paper, like two 8.5" x 11" sheets taped together on the long edge. On
it, draw your three or four-generational
family tree. Draw this
for youll be making notes all over it. Put names by each symbol. Include all the
DNA-related (living and dead) people you know of in your family, and those of your current
mate, their former mate (if any), and your former mate (if any).
at least 45" of undistracted time.
Honestly and thoughtfully, note on
the diagram each probable or sure instance of any of the traits
below. The more time and care you take, the clearer your results will
be. Stay clear that this wound-assessment worksheet is about growing your compassionate awareness, about blaming anyone!
The table of traits below is illustrative, notcomprehensive.
If you think of ancestral traits that aren't listed,
include them. "Chronic" below means "repeated." You may
wish to spend several days or weeks researching your family tree to fill
this worksheet out. Option:
make this a group project with one or more interested relatives.
If you think an ancestor may have had one of these traits but you aren't
sure, add it to your diagram with a question mark. The psychological-wound traits and
traumas in this checklist are organized
in these groups:
traumas and symptoms,
traumas and symptoms,
Health-related traumas and symptoms,
and legal trauma, and...
Other traumas or
Typical Family-tree Symptoms
of Psychological Wounds
Traumas and Symptoms
Elected or forced child adoptions
Unplanned or unwanted pregnancies
Death of an infant or young child
Minor kids feeling responsible for, and regularly parenting,
younger children and/or disabled adults
Orphaned children; foster parenting
Unusual imaginary companions
Serious bullying by older children
Child kidnapping or abduction
Attempted or completed abortions
Major birth defects or birth traumas
Parental sterility or infertility
Chronic stealing, lying, or vandalism including fire-setting
Concentration-camp internment; Religious, ethnic,
persecution; Local warfare, rioting, bombing, or military invasion;
Serious cult or gang involvement
organizational, or military censure, sanctions, disbarment, or expulsion;
dwelling complaints or evictions;
Other Trauma or Symptoms
Human-service occupation/s: e.g. clergy / law / welfare
casework / mental health / medicine / education / consulting / etc.
Reported or known animal sacrifices, torture, or entrapment;
boat, or plane accident or wreck;
Serious injuries from animals, fish, reptiles, or insects
Major natural disasters - e.g. floods, epidemics, droughts,
tornados, fires, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tidal waves, mud slides,
Mugging, personal robbery, dwelling
break-ins, blackmail, extortions;
torture, and/or molesting of a loved one
Deciding what is an
"excessive" trait in an ancestor or relative is a subjective decision. To
improve the objectivity of your research here, ask knowledgeable others
(e.g. relatives, close family friends, involved health
professionals) to reality-check your opinions about the existence of any trait youre
unsure of. The more traumatic the trait, the more intense a
reaction you'll probably get.
like these suggest psychologically-wounded, unaware ancestors and significant family dysfunction.
you are significantly wounded, you're
likely to minimize or deny some of these
traits. Also, traumas or traits
like these can be (shameful) family secrets, and you
may never have been told about them.
the more of these traits someone's parents
and/or other ancestors had, the higher the odds that significant psychological wounds passed
on to the next generation. Note that this is not a complete list of traits.
a Family Tree
We all have
some of these ancestral traits and traumas.
The more of the traits or events
that appear in someones ancestry, the higher the odds
they and their parents got too little emotional/spiritual nurturance in their early years, and
that they (b) inherited significant [psychological wounds and
On a scale from 1 to 5, rate
yourself on how many of these family-tree traits you have (1 = few,
5 = many). ___
assessing yourself and/or someone else for
psychological wounding and unawareness.
If you feel your
current mate may be ruled by a false self (wounded), discuss this concept
and worksheet with them. Ask your partner to study
If s/he balks, that raises the odds that you are wounded,
because typical Grown Wounded Children (GWCs) unconsciously choose
Note: until a
GWC hits true (vs. pseudo)
persuade or force them to break their denials or
want to start
personal healing. Commonly, hitting bottom happens in midlife. Some
wounded people never do. ...
If you believe an ex mate is significantly wounded
and you raised kids together, your children are
probably wounded and struggling with special
needs. For more perspective, see...
Consider discussing your findings here with your parent/s,
siblings, and/or older children. The overall goal is to help
them understand the [wounds + unawareness] cycle and how it's
affecting all of you - specially your living and future kids.