Lesson 1 of 7  - free your true Self to guide you

Profile Your
 Personal Assets

Affirm Your Strengths!

By Peter K. Gerlach, MSW
Member NSRC Experts Council

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The Web address of this worksheet is http://sfhelp.org/gwc/assets.htm

 Updated  02-03-15

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      This is one of a series of articles in Lesson 1 in this Web site - free your true Self to guide you in calm and conflictual times, and reduce significant psychological wounds.

      A vital part of managing any personal stressor (like psychological wounds) is awareness of your personal strengths and abilities. Typical survivors of early-childhood trauma ignore or discount their personal gifts, or apologize for them ("I'm being egotistical"). This worksheet provides a way for you to identify and appreciate your (or someone's) strengths and human assets, and suggests ways to use this awareness.

      This worksheet assumes you're familiar with...

Prepare

            To get the most from investing your time and energy here, 

Check to see who's guiding your personality. If it's not your true Self, expect skewed results.

Print this worksheet, block out at least 30" of undistracted time, and answer the items below thoughtfully and honestly

Notice how you feel as you fill this out, and where your thoughts go. Jot a few notes to yourself as you go to increase your learnings. There is no right or wrong!

       If you feel sure that all parts of the item apply, check the item. Together, the checks form a profile of your current human assets. Each non-checked item is an opportunity to grow that asset. If you think of other strengths and assets, write them in!

      To set the tone, this brief YouTube video poses the question "Have you promoted yourself to equal yet?"

      As I begin, I’m aware of...


 


Profile: My Personal Human Assets

      eight personal assets you've been developing for years are your...

  • body

  • personality

  • awareness,

  • wholistic health,

  • knowledge and wisdom,

  • your key attitudes and values, ...

  • personal traits and relationship skills, and your

  • social supports.

      Check each asset below that you feel describes you. Star or hilight any you feel specially grateful for or want to improve. Put a "?" if you're not sure of an item.

ASSET 1)  My Body

__  1)  I affirm the priceless value of each organ in my body, and the cascade of values I enjoy from how my organs and senses operate automatically to help me survive and make my way in the world.

ASSET 2)  My Personality

__  2)  I can identify the talented subselves that comprise my unique personality.

__  3)  I _ can tell when my true Self is guiding me, and _ I can usually free my true Self when a protective false self controls me.

__  4)  I'm patiently making progress on...

_ bringing all my subselves to live in the present time,

_ retraining and reassigning them when needed, and

_ developing them into a stable, harmonious, purposeful inner family.  

  Use Lesson 1 in this Web site to develop these keystone personal assets.

ASSET 3)  My Awarenesses

      Would you agree that some people are more aware than others? How would you define "awareness" to a pre-teen? It is a learnable trait. The greater your awareness, the more choices you have to live the way you want to. From one (rarely aware) to ten (always very aware), how aware are you recently? ___

      Read this perspective, and see what you think.

__ 5)  I am consistently aware of my dynamic subselves and which of them are guiding my behavior in important situations.

__ 6)  I'm consistently aware of _ my emotions in calm and stressful situations, and _ how to benefit from each of them.

__ 7)  I'm usually aware of my current primary mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual needs (discomforts) in all situations and relationships.

__ 8)  I'm usually aware of _ what I'm thinking, _ where my thoughts are focused (past, present, or future / you, me, us. or other), and of _ my thinking sequences and patterns. 

__ 9)  My primary attitudes about important relationships, behaviors, morals, and topics (e.g. abortion and euthanasia), and _ how my attitudes affect my life quality.

__ 10)  I'm usually aware of my Higher Power's presence and influence.

__ 11)  I'm usually aware of the verbal and nonverbal dynamics between me and other people in important situations.

__ 12)  I'm _ often aware of my senses, hunches, and intuitions, and _ I factor them into my decisions.

__ 13)  I'm often able to see trends and changes by being aware of the past and the present.

__ 14)  I'm steadily aware of my life's purpose, or I'm aware of how I'm seeking to recognize it.

__ 15)  I'm aware of my responsibility to manage my impact on the local and global environment.

      Rate your recent awareness from one to ten again. ___. Overall, do you feel your awareness is a significant personal asset? Could you benefit by improving it?

ASSET 4)  My Wholistic Health 

__  16)  I _ clearly acknowledge the spiritual aspect of myself now, and _ I feel sure that I’m evolving in a way that often uses my growing spiritual strength, intuition, and inspiration.

__  17)  I _ regularly draw meaningful comfort and guidance from my Higher Power when times get tough, and _ I'm usually able to turn over problems I can't control to that Entity without shame or guilt.

__  18)  I _ meditate and/or pray in stressful times, and _ I often feel refreshed, empowered, and enlightened when I do; or _ I’m currently learning how to do this.

__  19)  I’m usually _ aware of my current emotions; and can _ name and _ express them clearly and safely _ without undue guilt, shame, or anxiety. I _ value all my emotions, and _ I use them to help me identify what I currently need.

__  20)  I _ regularly pay attention to my day and night dreams, hunches, intuitions, and "senses," and _ I balance their apparent meanings with my rational thoughts enough in making important decisions.

__  21)  I consistently _  give my physical health high priority; and _ I feel serene about...

_  the quality of my nutrition and diet,

_  the amounts and kinds of exercise and rest I give myself,

_  my ways of coping with stress, and

_  my prompt, responsible use of appropriate medical services and medicines when I need them.

__  22)  I have _ thoroughly assessed whether I have any of the six psychological wounds. If I do, I’m _ steadily working at recovery _ because of self respect, vs. fear, shame, or "duty."

__  23)  I _ often feel well- balanced in attending my daily spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical needs; and _ others who know me describe me as "well-balanced" and "centered." I _ usually balance work, rest, and play well enough.

__  24)  I’m _ clear enough about my life's purpose, and _ I’m developing effective ways of achieving it.

__  25)


__  26)

      Overall, do you see your wholistic health as a major personal asset now?

ASSET 5)  My Knowledge and Wisdom

      Two major assets you're developing every day are (a) what you know about yourself and the world (your knowledge), and (b) how you use your knowledge (your wisdom). Your growing knowledge ranges between essential (for managing life challenges) to specialized (for your profession or hobbies) to non-essential (like how ants communicate).

      Premise - Each of the self-improvement Lessons in this nonprofit Web site offers essential knowledge for living well..

__  27)  I _ have studied Lesson 1 (reduce psychological wounds) thoroly, and _ I can confidently answer most of these questions now.

__  28)  I _ have studied Lesson 2 (communication skills) thoroly, and _ I can confidently answer most of these questions now.

__  29)  I _ have studied Lesson 3 (bonding, losses, and healthy grief) thoroly, and _ I can confidently answer most of these questions now.

__  30)  I _ have studied Lesson 4 (satisfying relationships) thoroly, and _ I can confidently answer most of these questions now.

__  31)  I _ have studied Lesson 5 (high-nurturance families) thoroly, and _ I can confidently answer most of these questions now.

__  32)  I _ have studied Lesson 6 (effective parenting) thoroly, and _ I can confidently answer most of these questions now.

__  33)  (if appropriate)  I _ have studied Lesson 7 (healthy stepfamilies) thoroly, and _ I can confidently answer most of these questions now.

__  34)  I can clearly describe _ the [wounds + unawareness] cycle and _ at least four of its toxic impacts to an average older teen.

__  35)  I have enough knowledge to live comfortably as an independent adult.

__  36) 

__  37)

      Pause, stretch, and recall why you're inventorying your personal human assets. What are you aware of, so far? Overall, do you feel your knowledge is a significant personal asset now? If you need more knowledge, what and why?

ASSET 6)  My Key Beliefs and Attitudes

      Premise - attitudes are semi-conscious right/wrong, bad/better/good, acceptable/unacceptable safe/unsafe, judgments we all make about many things - including ourselves. Our primary attitudes significantly shape who and what stresses us and how we react. 

__ 38)  I believe people are basically good and mean well. 

__ 39)  I believe all personality subselves mean well, tho they may be misinformed and/or unaware.

__ 40)  I believe there is a responsive, benign Higher power available to me and all other people. 

__ 41 I believe every adult and child has basic human rights like these.  

__ 42)  I believe each of us has the unquestionable right to decide if, how, and when to end our life

__ 43)  I believe there are no inherently "evil" persons - only badly wounded, uninformed people

__ 44)  I accept that interpersonal conflict in any relationship and group is normal and inevitable, not "bad.".

__ 45)  I believe respect, trust, and love can only be given spontaneously, and cannot be demanded.

__ 46)  I believe every able adult is responsible for her or his own happiness.

__ 47)  I believe all people are equals in dignity and worth, regardless of race, color, gender, age, ethnicity, occupation, education, wealth, or faith.

__ 48)  I believe caring for my Self is just as important as caring for other people.

__ 49)  I believe that we humans have a moral responsibility to care for the Earth and preserve its resources for future generations.

__ 50)  I believe couples have the moral responsibility to prepare themselves fully before conceiving children (i.e. study Lessons 1 through 6 here).

__ 51 I believe that divorce is justified and humane if couples have tried every practical resource.

__ 52)  I believe that relying on medications to ease psychological problems like depression, anxiety, and compulsions usually prolongs the problems.

__ 53)  I believe all adults and kids need help and encouragement from time to time.

__ 54)  I believe every able adult is responsible for _ understanding the [wounds + unawareness] cycle and _ doing what they can to protect future generations from it.

__ 55)  I believe personal freedom is a privilege, not a birthright

__ 56)  I believe human violence, aggression, and abuse are real, and come from  [psychological wounding + unawareness].

__ 57)  I believe that no person has the right to impose their spiritual or political beliefs on other persons - specially on children.

__ 58)  I believe that each adult and child has the right to form and live by their own attitudes and beliefs, and must accept the consequences of them.

__  Add your own key attitudes and beliefs you regard as personal assets.

 

 

ASSET 7)  Personal Traits and Skills

      Some of these are universal assets, and others are individual.

__  59)  I _ respect myself, and _ most other people respect me as a person and in key social roles.

__  60)  I _ don't see others as having more or less human dignity and worth than I do. _ My needs, thoughts, feelings, and goals are just as important as anyone else’s, and _ others’ needs, opinions, and feelings - including kids' - are just as important as mine.

__  61)  I _ usually enjoy being with most adults and kids, and _ I am clearly capable of bonding (forming a healthy emotional attachment) with selected others.

__  62)  My own experience and others’ feedback suggests that my thinking is usually focused, clear, "rational," and productive.

__  63)  I can _ clearly identify toxic (shame, guilt, and anxiety-producing) relationships and settings, and I _ am consistently able to avoid or manage them.

__  64)  I am reasonably or very empathic with others – I can often accurately sense what they feel and need, without major judgment or bias.

__  65)  I’m reasonably comfortable with interpersonal conflicts and confrontations, and _ I accept them when they arise (vs. withdrawing, numbing out, threatening, freaking out, controlling, pretending, or denying).

__  66)  I often practice each of the seven communication skills effectively with kids and adults - i.e. I’m often effective at promoting win-win problem solving.

__  67)  I regularly appreciate and verbally affirm ("thanks for...") other people genuinely, vs. dutifully or intellectually.

__  68)  If I’m thoughtless, selfish, or rude, I’m comfortable _ apologizing genuinely and promptly, and _ accepting apologies from others (forgiving) if they do the same.

__  69)  I’m comfortable enough with strong emotions – specially anger, fear, confusion, frustration, sorrow, and guilt in _ myself and _ in others.

__  70)  I generally tell the truth to _ myself, and _ all important others in my life.

__  71)  I’m usually comfortable compromising with others when we conflict.

__  72)  I can often be a team player, vs. being over-independent ("aloof"), selfish, defiant, and/or controlling.

__  73)  I _ can describe ''codependence'' (relationship addiction) accurately, and _ I'm clear I don’t have that psychological condition.

__  74)  I’m usually comfortable asserting my needs, opinions, and limits  (boundaries) with others (e.g. saying "no", or "not now"), without significant guilt, shame, or anxiety.

__  75)  I can _ comfortably support other people without losing my integrity, and I’m usually comfortable with _ requesting and _ accepting support from others when I need it.

__  76)  If I’m divorced, I _ have clearly resolved all significant shame, guilt, and anger at myself and my former spouse/s – or _ I’m progressing on that now.

__  77)  I _ know how to grieve effectively, and _ I'm promoting a pro-grief home and family now.

__  78)  I can _ tell the difference between anger and frustration, and _ I live from a healthy policy about feeling, expressing, and reacting to others' anger now.

__  79)  More personal human assets. This table of traits is illustrative, not complete. Check or circle each one that you have. Premise - each quality and trait like these is brought to you by one or more of your talented personality subselves:

  • Sensitivity

  • Ability to love

  • Ability to assert

  • Self-love

  • Personal balance

  • Reasoned courage
     

  • Spiritual awareness

  • Decisiveness

  • Creativity

  • Flexibility

  • Ability to focus

  • Maturity

  • Clear thinking

  • Realistic optimism

  • Patience

  • Common sense

  • Integrity and dignity

  • Curiosity
     

  • Strength and resilience

  • Analyzing and planning

  • Foresight and vision

  • Tenderness

  • Self trust

  • Clear priorities

  • Forgiveness

  • Self-encouragement

  • Imagination  

  • Humility + pride

  • Compassion
     

  • Healthy humor

  • Persistence

  • Commitment

  • Social; tolerance

  • Serenity and peace

Make your own list of personal traits and talents like these. Option: ask people who know you to give you their opinions.

       A final group of your personal assets is...

ASSET 8)  My Social Supports

__  80)  I'm steadily accepted and valued by a stable, loving, high-nurturance family

__  81)  I'm in a stable, nourishing primary relationship

__  82)  I have several trustworthy, caring, empathic friends

__  83)  I'm known, accepted and valued in a high-nurturance religious community and/or peer-support group. 

+ + +

      Pause, breathe, and notice your thoughts and feelings. What did you just learn? Have you ever seen an inventory of human assets like this before? Did you realize how many assets you have (and can develop)? If there are young people in your life, is someone helping them understand and affirm their growing set of personal assets?

Recap

      In confusing and stressful times, it can help to (a) ensure that your true Self is guiding you, and then (b) review and appreciate your human assets. This article offers you a way to identify and appreciate eight kinds of assets: your...

  • body.

  • personality.

  • awareness,

  • wholistic health,

  • knowledge and wisdom,

  • your key attitudes and values,

  • personal traits and relationship skills, and 

  • your social supports.


      Use this inventory to help you combat local feelings of weakness, anxiety, self-doubt, and overwhelm. You can also use this to discover (a) what assets you want to develop, and (b) how your personal strengths and assets are growing, over time. Where ever you go - these assets go with you!

+ + +

      Pause, breathe, and reflect: why did you read this? Did you get what you needed? If not, what do you need? Who's answering these questions - your wise resident true Self, or ''someone else''?

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