The Web address of this
worksheet is https://sfhelp.org/gwc/assets.htm
Updated
02-03-15
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This is one of a series of articles in Lesson 1 in
this Web site - free your
true Self
to guide you in calm and conflictual times, and
reduce
significant psychological wounds.
A vital part of managing any
personal stressor (like psychological wounds) is awareness of your personal strengths and abilities. Typical
survivors
of early-childhood trauma ignore or discount their personal gifts, or apologize for
them ("I'm being egotistical").
This worksheet provides a way for you to
identify and appreciate your (or someone's) strengths and human assets, and suggests ways
to use this awareness.
This worksheet assumes you're familiar with...
the intro to this Web
site and the premises underlying it
To get the most from investing your time and energy here,
Check to see who's
guiding your
personality. If it's not your
true Self,
expect skewed results.
Print this worksheet,
block out at least 30" of
undistracted time, and answer the items below thoughtfully and honestly
Notice how you feel as you fill this out, and where your thoughts go. Jot a
few notes to yourself as you go to increase your learnings. There is no right
or wrong!
If you feel sure that all parts of the item apply, check the item. Together, the
checks
form a profile of your current human assets. Each non-checked item is an opportunity to
grow that asset. If you think of
other strengths and assets, write them in!
To set the tone, this brief YouTube video poses the question "Have you
promoted yourself to equal yet?"
As I begin, I’m aware of...
Profile: My Personal Human Assets
eight personal assets you've
been developing for years are your...
body
personality
awareness,
wholistic health,
knowledge and wisdom,
your key
attitudes and values, ...
personal traits and relationship skills, and
your
social supports.
Check each asset below that you feel describes you. Star or hilight any you
feel specially grateful for or want to improve. Put a "?" if you're not sure
of an item.
ASSET
1) My Body
__
1) I affirm the priceless
value of each organ in my body, and the cascade of values I enjoy from how
my organs and senses operate automatically to help me survive and make my
way in the world.
ASSET
2) My Personality
__
2) I can identify the
talented subselves
that comprise my unique personality.
__
3)
I _ can tell when my true Self is
guiding me,
and _ I can usually
free
my true Self when a protective
false self
controls me.
_ bringing
all my subselves to live in the present time,
_
retraining and reassigning them when needed, and
_
developing them into a stable, harmonious, purposeful inner family.
Use
Lesson 1 in
this Web site to develop these keystone personal assets.
ASSET
3)
My Awarenesses
Would you agree that some people are more aware than others? How
would you define "awareness" to a pre-teen?
It is a learnable trait. The greater
your awareness, the more choices you have to live the way you want to.From one (rarely aware) to ten (always very aware), how aware are you
recently? ___
__ 5) I am
consistently aware of my dynamic subselves
and which of them are guiding my behavior in important situations.
__ 6) I'm
consistently aware of _ my emotions in calm and stressful situations,
and _ how to benefit from each of them.
__ 7) I'm usually
aware of my current primary mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual
needs (discomforts) in all situations and relationships.
__ 8) I'm usually
aware of _ what I'm thinking, _ where my thoughts are focused (past,
present, or future / you, me, us. or other), and of _ my thinking
sequences and patterns.
__ 9)
My primary
attitudes about important relationships,
behaviors, morals, and topics (e.g. abortion and euthanasia), and _ how my
attitudes affect my life quality.
__ 10) I'm usually
aware of
my Higher Power's presence and influence.
__ 11)I'm usually
aware of the verbal and nonverbal
dynamics
between me and other people in important situations.
__ 12) I'm _ often
aware of my senses, hunches, and intuitions, and _ I factor them into
my decisions.
__ 13) I'm often
able to see trends and changes by being aware of the past and the present.
__ 14) I'm steadily
aware of my life's purpose, or I'm aware of how I'm seeking to recognize it.
__ 15) I'm aware of my responsibility to manage my impact on the local and
global
environment.
Rate your recent awareness from one to ten again. ___.
Overall, do you feel your
awareness is a significant personal asset? Could you benefit by
improving it?
__
16) I
_ clearly acknowledge the
spiritual aspect of myself now, and _
I feel sure that I’m evolving in a way that
often uses my growing spiritual strength, intuition, and inspiration.
__ 17) I _ regularly draw meaningful
comfort and guidance from
my Higher Power when times get tough,
and _ I'm usually able to
turn over
problems I can't control to that Entity without shame or guilt.
__
18) I _ meditate and/or
pray in stressful times, and _ I often feel refreshed, empowered, and enlightened
when I do; or _ I’m currently learning how to do this.
__
19) I’m usually _
aware of my current
emotions; and can _ name and _ express them clearly and safely _ without
undue guilt, shame, or anxiety. I _ value allmy emotions, and
_ I use them to help me identify what
I currently need.
__
20) I _ regularly pay attention to my day and
night dreams, hunches, intuitions, and "senses," and _ I balance their
apparent meanings with my rational thoughts enough in making
important decisions.
__
21) I consistently _
give my physical healthhigh priority; and _ I feel serene about...
_ the quality of my nutrition
and diet,
_ the amounts and kinds of exercise and rest I give myself,
_ my prompt, responsible use of
appropriate medical services and medicines when I need them.
__
22)I have _ thoroughly
assessed whether I have any
of the six
psychological wounds.
If I do, I’m
_
steadily working at recovery
_ because of self respect, vs. fear, shame, or "duty."
__
23) I _ often feel well-
balanced in
attending my daily spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical needs; and
_
others who know me describe me as "well-balanced" and
"centered." I _ usually balance work, rest, and play well enough.
__
24) I’m _ clear enough
about my
life's purpose, and _ I’m developing
effective ways of
achieving it.
__
25)
__
26)
Overall, do you see your wholistic health
as a major personal asset now?
ASSET
5)
My Knowledge and Wisdom
Two major assets you're developing every day are (a) what you know about
yourself and the world (your knowledge), and (b) how you use your knowledge (your
wisdom). Your growing knowledge ranges between essential (for managing
life challenges) to specialized (for your profession or hobbies) to
non-essential (like how ants communicate).
Premise - Each of the self-improvement Lessons in this nonprofit Web site
offers essential knowledge for living well..
__
27)I _ have studied
Lesson 1 (reduce psychological wounds)
thoroly, and _ I can confidently answer most of these
questions now.
__
28) I _ have studied Lesson 2
(communication skills) thoroly, and _ I can confidently answer most of
these questions now.
__
29) I _ have studied
Lesson 3 (bonding, losses, and
healthy grief) thoroly, and _ I can confidently answer most of
these questions now.
__
30) I _ have studied Lesson
4 (satisfying relationships) thoroly, and _ I can confidently answer
most of these questions now.
__
31) I _ have studied Lesson 5
(high-nurturance families) thoroly, and _ I can confidently answer most of
these questions now.
__
32) I _ have studied Lesson 6
(effective parenting) thoroly, and _ I can confidently answer most of
these questions now.
__
33) (if appropriate) I
_ have studied Lesson 7 (healthy
stepfamilies) thoroly, and _ I can confidently answer most of
these questions now.
__ 34)
I can clearly
describe _ the [wounds + unawareness]
cycle
and _ at least four of its
toxic impacts
to an average older teen.
__
35)I have enough knowledge to live comfortably as an
independent adult.
__
36)
__
37)
Pause, stretch, and recall why you're inventorying your personal human assets.
What are you aware of, so far?
Overall, do you feel your knowledge is a significant personal asset now?
If you need more knowledge, what and why?
ASSET 6) My Key
Beliefs and Attitudes
Premise - attitudes are semi-conscious right/wrong,
bad/better/good, acceptable/unacceptable safe/unsafe, judgments we all make
about many things - including ourselves. Our primary attitudes significantly
shape who and what stresses us and how we react.
__38)
I believe people are basically good and mean well.
__ 39) I believe
all
personality subselves mean well, tho they may be misinformed and/or
unaware.
__40)
I believe there is a responsive, benign Higher power available to me and all
other people.
__ 41)
I believe every adult and child has
basic human rights like these.
__ 42)
I believe each of us has the unquestionable right to decide if, how, and
when to end our life
__ 43)
I believe there are no inherently "evil" persons - only badly
wounded, uninformed people.
__ 44) I accept that interpersonal conflict in any
relationship and group is normal and inevitable, not "bad.".
__ 45) I believe respect, trust, and
love can only be given spontaneously, and cannot be demanded.
__ 46) I
believe every able adult is responsible for her or his own happiness.
__ 47)
I believe all people are equals in dignity and worth, regardless of race,
color, gender, age, ethnicity, occupation, education, wealth, or faith.
__ 48)I believe caring for my Self is just as important as caring for other
people.
__ 49)
I believe that we humans have a moral responsibility to care for the Earth
and preserve its resources for future generations.
__50)
I believe couples have the moral responsibility to prepare themselves fully
before conceiving children
(i.e. study Lessons 1 through 6 here).
__ 51)
I believe that divorce is justified
and humane if couples have tried every practical resource.
__ 52)
I believe that relying on medications to ease psychological problems like
depression, anxiety, and compulsions usually
prolongs the problems.
__ 53)
I believe all
adults and kids need help and encouragement from time to time.
__
54)I believe every
able adult is responsible for
_ understanding the
[wounds + unawareness]
cycle and
_ doing what they can
to protect future generations from it.
__
55) I believe personal freedom
is a privilege, not a birthright
__ 56) I
believe human violence, aggression, and abuse are real, and come from
[psychological wounding + unawareness].
__ 57) I
believe that no person has the right to impose their spiritual or political
beliefs on other persons - specially on children.
__ 58) I
believe that each adult and child has the right to form and live by their
own attitudes and beliefs, and must accept the consequences of
them.
__ Add your own key
attitudes and beliefs you regard as personal assets.
ASSET
7) Personal Traits and Skills
Some of these are universal assets, and others are individual.
__ 59) I _ respect myself, and
_ most other people respect me as a person and in key social roles.
__ 60)
I _ don't see others as having
more or less human dignity and worth than I do. _
My needs, thoughts, feelings, and goals are just as
important as anyone else’s, and _ others’ needs, opinions, and
feelings - including kids' - are
just as important as mine.
__ 61) I _ usually enjoy being with most adults and
kids, and _ I am clearly capable of bonding (forming a healthy
emotional attachment) with selected others.
__
62) My own experience and others’ feedback
suggests that my thinking is usually focused, clear,
"rational," and productive.
__ 63) I can
_ clearly identify toxic
(shame, guilt, and anxiety-producing)
relationships and settings, and I _ am consistently able to avoid or manage them.
__ 64) I am reasonably or very
empathic with others – I can often accurately sense what they feel and need,
without major judgment or bias.
__ 65) I’m reasonably comfortable with
interpersonal conflicts and confrontations, and _ I accept them when they arise (vs. withdrawing, numbing out,
threatening, freaking out, controlling, pretending, or denying).
__ 66) I often practice
each of the seven communication
skills
effectively with kids and adults - i.e. I’m often effective at
promoting win-win
problem solving.
__ 67)I regularly
appreciate and verbally
affirm ("thanks for...") other people genuinely, vs. dutifully or intellectually.
__ 68) If I’m
thoughtless, selfish, or rude, I’m comfortable _ apologizing
genuinely and promptly, and _ accepting
apologies from others (forgiving) if they do the same.
__ 69) I’m comfortable
enough with strong emotions
– specially anger, fear, confusion, frustration, sorrow, and guilt in _ myself and
_ in others.
__ 70) I generally
tell the truth to _ myself, and _ all important
others in my life.
__ 71) I’m usually comfortable
compromising
with others when we conflict.
__ 72) I can often
be a team player, vs. being over-independent ("aloof"),
selfish, defiant, and/or controlling.
__ 73) I _ can describe
''codependence'' (relationship
addiction) accurately, and
_ I'm clear I don’t have that psychological condition.
__ 74) I’m usually
comfortable
asserting my needs, opinions, and limits
(boundaries) with others (e.g. saying "no", or "not now"),
without significant guilt, shame, or
anxiety.
__ 75) I can _
comfortably support
other people without losing my integrity, and I’m usually comfortable with _ requesting and _ accepting
support from others when I need it.
__ 76) If I’m divorced,
I _ have clearly resolved all significant
shame, guilt, and anger at myself and my former spouse/s
– or _ I’m progressing on that now.
__ 78) I can _ tell the
difference between
anger and frustration, and _ I live from a healthy
policy about feeling, expressing, and reacting to others' anger now.
__ 79) More personal human assets. This table of traits is illustrative, not
complete. Check or circle each one that you have. Premise - each quality and trait like these is brought to you by one or more of your talented
personality subselves:
Make your own list of personal traits and talents like these. Option: ask
people who know you to give you their opinions.
A final group of your personal assets is...
ASSET
8)My Social Supports
__ 80) I'm
steadily accepted and valued by a stable, loving, high-nurturance family
__ 81) I'm in
a stable, nourishing primary relationship
__ 82) I have
several trustworthy, caring, empathic friends
__ 83) I'm
known, accepted and valued in a high-nurturance religious community and/or
peer-support group.
+ + +
Pause, breathe, and notice your thoughts and feelings. What did you just
learn? Have you ever seen an inventory of human assets like this before?
Did you realize how many assets you have (and can develop)?
If there are
young people in your life, is someone helping them understand and affirm their
growing set of
personal assets?
Recap
In confusing and stressful times, it can help to (a) ensure that your true
Self is
guiding
you, and then (b) review and appreciate your human assets. This article offers you
a way to identify and appreciate eight kinds of
assets: your...
body.
personality.
awareness,
wholistic health,
knowledge and wisdom,
your key
attitudes and values,
personal traits and
relationship skills, and
your social supports.
Use
this inventory to help you combat local feelings of weakness, anxiety, self-doubt, and
overwhelm. You can also use this to discover (a) what assets you want to
develop, and (b) how your personal strengths and assets are growing, over
time. Where ever you go - these assets go with you!
+ + +
Pause, breathe, and reflect: why did you read this? Did you get what you needed? If
not, what do you need? Who's
answering
these questions - your wise resident
true Self,
or
''someone else''?
The Web address of this
worksheet is https://sfhelp.org/gwc/assets.htm
Prepare
ASSET
1)