The Adult Children of Divorce Workbook - a
Compassionate Program for Healing from Your Parents' Divorce, by Mary Hirschfeld,
J.D., Ph.D.; Jeremy P. Tarcher, Inc., Los Angeles, CA; 1992. The title speaks for itself.
There are other helpful titles for parents of divorcing children.
Adult Children Of Abusive Parents -
Program for Those Who Have Been Physically, Sexually, or Emotionally Abused, by Steven
Farmer, M.A.; Ballentine Books, New York, NY; 1990. This is helpful for
adults from any kind of low-nurturance childhood.
The Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome - From
Discovery to Recovery, by Wayne Kritsberg; Health Communications, Inc., Deerfield
Beach, FL; 1988
Adult Children - Secrets of Dysfunctional Families,
by John and Linda Friel; Health Communications, Inc., Deerfield Beach, FL; 1988
The Artists Way - A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity,
by Julia Cameron, with Mark Bryan; G. P. Putnams Sons, New York, NY; 1992.
Though this empowering work/book focuses on increasing personal creativity, its
equally about personal recovery and wholeness.
Bradshaw on: The Family - a Revolutionary Way of Self-discovery, by John Bradshaw;
Health Communications, Inc., Deerfield Beach, FL; 1996. Update of a classic, impassioned
description of childhood deprivations and consequences, by a recovering minister, father,
seasoned therapist, and educator.
Broken Open - How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow, by
Elizabeth Lesser, Villard Books, division of Random House, New York, NY;
2004. The authoress uses others' stories and her own to validate using pain
and three tools to "break open" and discover self-actualization and a deeper
aware-ness of Self and Life.
Children of Trauma - rediscovering your discarded
self; by Jane Middleton-Moz; Health Communications, Inc.; Deerfield Beach, FL; 1989.
Particularly touching and evocative.
Choicemaking - for codependents, Adult Children,
and Spirituality Seekers, by Sharon Wegscheider-cruse; Health Communications, Inc.,
Deerfield Beach, FL.; 1985
The Different Drum -
Community Making and Peace, by M. Scott Peck; 1998 (reprint); Touchstone books,
Simon & Schuster, New York, NY. This is an inspiring and practical
book for people who choose to build inner family harmony.
Peck wrote Road Less Traveled, and others.
- Our Inner World, and the
People in it, by
John Rowan; Routledge, London, UK; 1993. A readable introduction to, and a
way of meeting, the amazing inner family that comprises "you."
Drama of the Gifted Child - The Search for the True Self (originally
"Prisoners of Childhood"), by Alice Miller; Basic Books, New York, NY;
This is a brief, powerful,
lay-friendly commentary on child-hood wounds and "Adult Children" by an
insightful and often-quoted Swiss psychotherapist. Unusually clear and
Your Inner Critic - Turning Self Criticism Into A Creative Asset,
by Hal Stone, Ph.D., and Sidra Winkleman-Stone, Ph.D.; Harper, San
Francisco, 1993. A truly practical book on how to redirect the voice in your
head that keeps putting you down. See also the Stone's
Web site for related resources.
Grandchildren of Alcoholics - Another Generation of Co-dependency; by
Ann W. Smith; Health Communications Inc., Deerfield Beach, FL; 1988. I highly recommend
this for raising your awareness of how
from low-nurturance childhoods can "skip" generations.
Guide to Recovery -
a Book for Adult Children of
Alcoholics, by Julie D. Bowden and Herbert L. Gravitz; Learning
Publications, Inc.; Holmes Beach, FL; 1985. Particularly brief, clear, and straightforward.
Useful for all health-seekers.
Healing the Child Within - Discovery and Recovery
for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families, by Charles Whitfield, M.D.; Health
Communications, Inc., Deerfield Beach, FL; 1987. Helpful - though the author stops short
of recognizing our chaotic
which usually includes several
Healing the Family Within, by Robert Subby, M.A.; Health
Communications, Inc., Deerfield Beach, FL, 1990. Subby writes clearly
about wound-recovery from personal and professional experience. The "family
within" applies the parent - adult - child concept in "I'm OK - You're OK"
(below). This is a readable, limited introduction to the idea of personality
subselves and how they relate to addiction and recovery.
the Shame That Binds You, by John
Bradshaw; Health Communications, Inc., Deerfield Beach, FL; 1988. A helpful summary of his
earlier book "The Family," (above) plus very useful ideas and exercises for
working toward converting personal shame to healthy Self acceptance and love.
is the most
impactful result of significant
How to Love Yourself When You Dont Know How -
Your Inner Children, by Jacqui Bishop, M.S., and Mary Grunte, R.N.;
A P.U.L.S.E. Book, published by Station Hill Press, Inc., Barrytown, NY; 1992. One of the
few books I've found (so far) that acknowledges the reality of (part of) our inner
family of subselves.
Inner Game of Tennis; by W. Timothy Gallwey; Random House, New York, NY;
revised 1997; A clear,
interesting well-received lay book applying Zen principles to tennis. Gallwey
describes the often conflictual interplay between "Self 1 - the teller" (this
) and "Self two: the Do-er"
(this site: the
OK You're OK -
a practical guide to transactional analysis,
Harper and Rowe, New York; 1967; by Dr Thomas Harris, M.D. This was one of
best-received books proposing that we have personality parts by a
respected psychiatrist. He builds on the work of Erik Berne to propose that
many personal and social problems can be solved by working with the inner
Parent, Adult, and Child (singular).
Inner Time - The Science of Body Clocks and What Makes us Tick,
by Carol Orlock; Carol Publishing Group, New York,
NY; 1993. A brief, clear, interesting introduction to the new science of
biochronology. This will add to your appreciation of what complex human
artworks we are, and how inextricably linked our bodies and personalities
are to the cosmic forces in and around us.
the Internal Family Systems Model; by Richard C. Schwartz, PhD,
LMFT; 2001; Trailhead
Publications, Oak Park, IL, 60302. This reader-friendly book is by the
veteran clinical psychologist and teacher who has introduced the idea of an
inner-family of personality subselves, based on many other clinical
researchers and his own professional experience for more than two decades.
I highly recommend this book for lay
readers and clinicians, and Schwartz's several other related publications.
See this related Web site for
more perspective, options, and materials.
It Will Never Happen
to Me, by Claudia Black, MSW; M.A.C. Printing and
Publications Division, Denver, CO; 2002 (reprint). A brief, clear, classic introduction to the
Adult-Child (i.e. "
") syndrome, by an insightful mental-health professional
in personal recovery. Related recovery workbook available.
Legacy of the Heart
- the Spiritual Advantages of a Painful Childhood,
by Wayne Muller; A Simon & Schuster Fireside Book, New York, NY; 1992. A marvelously
positive, different, (non-preachy) way of looking at - and healing from - the traumas of a
deprivational childhood, by a veteran therapist and Christian and Buddhist priest.
Lifebalance - How to Simplify and Bring Harmony to
Your Everyday Life, by Linda and Richard Eyre; A Simon & Schuster Fireside Book,
New York, NY; 1997. A clear, realistic look at putting time and energy where it most
matters. This can be specially helpful for chaotic
(personalities), and complex, busy
Man Who Planted Trees; an audio tape, CD, or book by French author Jean
Giono. This is a beautifully simple, moving story of a man who found
serenity and purpose to his life in an unusual way.
A marvelous parable for
anyone interested in what a true Self can do! I recommend the audio tape
as a gift .for
yourself and others you value. Now
available on YouTube as a 30"
The Power of Now, by Eckart Tolle -
A #1 New York Times
bestseller, the book has helped countless people around the globe awaken to
the spiritual dimension in their lives, find inner peace, increased joy and
more harmonious relationships. Tolle's "pain body" is similar to what this
Web site calls a "false self."
Original Kin - the Search for Connection Among Adult Brothers and Sisters,
by Marian Sandmaier; a Dutton Book, Penguin Books USA, Inc., New York, NY; 1994. An
absorbing, well-researched, clear look at the unexpectedly powerful influences of adult
sibling relationships. May be hard to find.
Recreating Your Self - Help for Adult Children of
Dysfunctional Families, by therapist Nancy Napier; W. W. Norton, & Co., New York, NY; 1990.
The only book I've seen to suggest we have a
self to consult with. Many practical recovery exercises
- Worth searching for.
Same House, Different Homes - Why Adult Children of Alcoholics Are Not All
the Same; by Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D.; Health Communications, Inc.; Pompano Beach, FL;
1987. A readable, 51-page overview of eight factors that shape why some kids are more
traumatized than others in the same low-nurturance family. Unfortunately,
out of print; these ideas may be summarized in another of
Ackerman's several books. See Amazon for used copies.
Search for the Real Self - Unmasking the Personality Disorders of Our
Age; by Dr. James F. Masterson. The Free Press, New York, NY;
paperback, 1988. A Freudian psychoanalyst, Masterson describes with laser
clarity where the false self comes from, and some life-long repercussions.
He illustrates "inflated" and "deflated" false selves,
and one way of re-empowering the real self to face and release wounds from
an adult's first three years of life. Written before
"multiplicity" (personality fragmenting) became accepted.
Self-Esteem: a Family Affair, by Jean Illsley Clarke (Paperback, October
1998). Ms. Clarke's work is highly regarded by many veteran family-health professionals.
Secret Survivors - Uncovering Incest and Its Aftereffects in Women;
by E. Sue Blume. Ballentine Books (New York, NY) paperback, 1991). A clear,
factual introduction to assessing and starting recovery from the massive
trauma of childhood sexual abuse. Well-known checklist of symptoms.
The Other Side
of the Family - a Book for Recovery
From Abuse, Incest, and Neglect, Ellen Ratner, Ed. M., editor; Health Communications, Inc.,
Deerfield Beach, FL; 1990. The editor is a professional with 16 years in the recovery
field when this was published.
The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success - the Practical Guide to the Fulfillment
of Your Dreams, by Deepak Chopra; Amber-Allen Publishing / New World Library, San
Rafael, CA.; (1994). A 115-page hardcover by a widely-respected leader in personal
recovery and Self-actualization. See also his newer Seven Laws for
The Six Pillars of Self Esteem, by Dr. Nathaniel Branden (6/95
paperback). A classic. Also available on audio tape.
- The People Inside Us, by John Rowan; Rutledge, London and New
York, 1990. This is a deep book for
those seriously interested in the origin and mechanics of
It documents that over two dozen respected clinicians,
including Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, over 100 years, have written about
what this site calls your inner
Ends with an 11-page bibliography.
Toxic Parents - Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and
Reclaiming Your Life; by Dr. Susan Forward, with Craig Buck; Bantam Books, New York,
NY; 1989. A New York Times best seller.
Ultimate Gift, by Jim Stoval; Executive Books, Mechanicsburg, PA;
1999. This simple, intriguing story about the bequest of a billionaire to
his grand-nephew is clear and inspiring - partly because the author is
blind, and has achieved more with his life than many sighted people.
The Institute of Psychohistory
provides useful perspective on the effects of childhood trauma.
Amazon.com provides most of these titles at
discounted prices by mail-order, and often has helpful reviews online. Also see