Adopt the attitude that like all
emotions, anxiety and fear are useful (vs. positive
or negative) responses.
Identify your current
significant anxieties
and fears, decide which you can and can't
and use this
awareness to fill your current needs.
Evolve
an effective way of identifying and reducing exaggerated or groundless old fears to healthy
levels, and/or releasing them. ("I used to fear traveling
in strange places. Now I enjoy doing so, selectively, because I'm learning
to trust myself (my Self) in unexpected and alien situations.") Really releasing old fears is a
permanent (core attitude) change.
Learn to recognize...
-
surface symptoms that
indicate repressed fear (e.g. those above),
and...
-
the difference between health-promoting and
toxic anxiety and fear.
Identify which subselves feel
each of your major fears (above). If any are
inner children living in the past, evolve an effective
rescue
plan and
invite them into the (safer) present time to join your other subselves.
Validate and affirm each scared subself's feelings
and beliefs, and promote honest dialog with them, your Self, and other
parts like your Nurturer and
Spiritual One.
Work patiently to grow your scared subselves'
trust that your
subselves can reliably avoid
or cope with most real
danger and manage unsafe situations effectively.
More goals for reducing
excessive fears to normal. Use a version of
to do the following...
Respectfully
retrain your Catastrophizer, Worrier, Critic, and
Magician subselves
(or equivalent) to trust your Self and a benign
Higher Power and
stop scaring other subselves.
Retrain your
Critic and
Perfectionist to stop
shaming other subselves for being afraid via (a) judgmental
and
(b) labeling normal, useful emotions
like shame, anger, anxiety, and sadness as "negative" or "bad."
Retrain your
Numb-er (Anesthetist)
subself to trust all
subselves' ability to safely tolerate feeling, and to allow
feeling all emotions fully in the present moment. Emotions point reliably
to current needs!
Learn if some subselves fear other
subselves ("Keep that Rager locked up. She's going to get us killed!"), and
convert that to cautious trust. As inner-family understanding, respect,
and trust in your Self's effective leadership (harmony) grow, such fears will shift to
tolerance and trust, and later to affection and appreciation.
Investigate possible connections between terrified
Inner Kids and their Guardian subselves and any chronic physical
symptoms you experience - e.g. cramps, muscular tics or spasms, migraines,
asthma, insomnia, "digestive problems," ulcers, … Isolated or mute
subselves can promote such symptoms in a desperate attempt to be noticed
and comforted. For perspective, read
this brief research summary
on significant
health risks from "chronic anxiety;"
Tailor
and apply these options for building
your self-confidence.
Work with medical professionals to reduce these as your
inner harmony grows, including ending dependence on chemicals (including sugar and fat)
to self-medicate inner pain. A growing number of books
document the
power of "your mind" (subselves) to cause and relieve some physiological ailments.
For
example, see titles by Larry Dossey and Dr. Bernie Siegel.
Typical
Fear-reduction Goals
