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This is one of a series of articles in Lesson 6 - learn to
provide effective parenting. A vital element of this skill is effective
Effective child discipline (setting limits and consequences) is
essential to (a) teach kids acceptable social behavior, and (b) provide
order in kids' homes and family. Typical mates and other family adults have differing styles
(values, priorities, and habits) in doing child discipline. Ideally, they'll
discover key style-differences before marriage.
This worksheet will help you
learn about the child-discipline values of you and other family adults and
supporters. The article assumes you're familiar with...
To Use This
Print as many copies as you need. Decide if you want to focus on
one child (who?), several, or all.
Do a "Self check" -
you'll get the best results
your other personality subselves.
you have larger
than "child discipline."
Adopt the open mind of a student
- i.e. be open to learning something useful for you all, vs. arming
yourself for combat.
Mark each line below with your initial or
a symbol ("x") or color, to show how you usually see yourself disciplining
your child/ren. The center word below each line tells what the
re-do the worksheet for the same child/ren using a
different initial or symbol, mar-king how you see your partner's discipline-style
factors. This is about
awareness, not com-peting or criticizing!
Have your co-parenting partners do the same on separate copies
of this worksheet;
Compare and discuss your results as
teammates vs. opponents; and...
Try to agree on (a) which items you need to
compromise on together,
and (b) how to do that.
rise if one or more
of your adults changed
something about your child-discipline values and actions? Who? What? If
something is in the way - what is it?
Have your old-enough kids fill out worksheet
copies, and invite their constructive feedback
- non-defensively, if you can!
Think of your childhood: Re-do your sheet, marking the lines for each of the
adults who parented you. Compare the result with your and or your partner's present
styles. What pat-terns do you see?
If you're a single parent or
stepfamily co-parent, do a worksheet on your prior family. How
did the disciplinary style there vary from this household's, and the other bioparent's
home? How do the kids react to these discipline-style differences?
Keep these worksheets and review them, say, a year from now to see what
changes or progress you've made. And ... try to see conflicting
child-discipline values as different rather than right / wrong, or
good / bad!
If you're experiencing major family
conflicts over disciplinary or other parenting values, see
this after you finish using this