the stage by scanning these brief selected
research/news items about parenting and family life.
Notice your thoughts and feelings as you do.
__ 6-2) Get quiet and undistracted, and take
the first six of these
without rushing. If you have trouble answering any
items, study the appropriate Lesson before working on
the lethal [wounds + unawareness]
cycle that causes -
and is caused by -
ineffective parenting + social
denial and indifference. _ Try describing the cycle
to someone to see if you understand it.
__ 6-4) See if you
agree with these ideas about
Effective parenting is essential to protect your
descendents from the cycle's toxic
__ 6-5) Review this
introduction to your
family system. Effective parenting is most likely when
your family system is functioning (nurturing) everyone
(not just kids) well.
__ 6-6) Study this
overview of high-nurturance
("functional") family systems. Was your birth
family "functional"? What's your family's
nurturance level recently? (low > moderate > high). What
would improve that?
__ 6-7) Consider these
ideas about qualified
conception or acquisition. How can you tell if a family
is ready to nurture a child
Do you know any families who weren't ready?
and discuss these ideas on the
vulnerability of unborn
children to environmental stress.
6-9) Study these
classic ideas about eight human
development stages by Dr. Erik Erickson. Where do
each of your minor kids stand with these stages? If they
need help with any stage, what help, and from whom?
__ 6-10) Review
this concept of
surface and primary needs.
Effective parenting aims to fill current primary adult and
child needs consistently.
__ 6-11) See how many
of these normal child-developmental
needs you know. Then decide how well each need is
being filled in each of your minor kids and teens.
these ideas about nourishing
physical contact. Is each of your
children getting enough appropriate touching? Are you?
__ 6-13) Reflect on
Dr. Abraham Maslow's ideas about
how normal human needs
rank. Do you agree with his ideas? How is each of
doing with this "hierarchy of needs?" How are each of your
family adults doing, starting with you?
Note - typical kids of parental death and separation
also have a mix of concurrent adjustment needs (#49
__ 6-14) Review this video
on three widespread types of
early-childhood trauma. Have they affected members
of your family?
__ 6-15) Review this
research summary connecting
with kids' "mental disorders."
__ 6-16) Review these
poignant Yahoo questions from real
__ 6-17) Review this
article on abandonment
__ 6-18) Read
this perspective on parental neglect - one cause of psychological wounds
__ 6-19) Refer
periodically to these ageless wisdoms
young people in your life.
__ 6-20) Compare these
bonding with yours. Do you know any parents who
are unable to bond with their kids and/or other people? If so, how does that affect
their children? Their family's nurturance level?
__ 6-21) Do these
long-term goals of effective
parents match yours? How many busy parents do you think
could articulate such goals for each dependent child and/or
__ 6- 22) How many of
these effective-parenting traits do
you have? How many did each adult who raised you?
__ 6-23) How many of
these nurturing values do
your family adults have?
__ 6-24) Evaluate
whether your family's attitude about
religion and spirituality
is nurturing or toxic for your kids.
See if you know how to develop
empathy in your minor
kids. Did your parents know how?
Review these options for helping kids develop _
and _ self confidence.
Are your children developing these vital assets?
these keys to effective adult
communication with minor kids
and teens (Lesson 2), and
_ these options for handling three common
relationship stressors (Lesson
__ 6-28) See if these
premises about effective child
discipline match yours.
__ 6-29) Strengthen
your ability to set and enforce effective
Evaluate whether your kids' grandparents'
are nurturing or toxic;
__ 6-31) Review these
ideas on a family
good-grief policy (Lesson 3).
Are your kids learning
to grieve effectively? Do you know how to grieve
well? Option - review these selected
items on "good grief."
__ 6-32) Are you
factoring these common gender
differences into your style of childcare?
__ 6-33) Consider
these suggestions on why and how to have
effective family meetings.
__ 6-34) See how you
feel about these proposed adult
__ 6-35) Compare these
traits of high-nurturance
centers, schools, churches, and child-related programs to those in
your life now.
Scan this comprehensive
Connection" Web site dedicated to
preventing early-childhood trauma. .