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Research suggests that typical divorcing-family and stepfamily co-parents carry up to six psychological wounds from too little early-childhood nurturance. The wounds range from minor to life-threatening. They amplify four other hazards that promote our unremarked U.S. divorce epidemic. The core wound is a personality composed of many disorganized subselves - a reactive, survival-oriented "false self." False-self wounds (a) promote characteristic attitudes and behaviors, which (b) cause predictable health and relationship consequences, including (c) unintentionally passing on the wounds to descendants. Family Project 1 here provides a way to test for these wounds and intentionally reduce them over time. Typical false selves are distrustful, scared, and need to distort reality. They don't trust that wound-assessment and relying on the resident true Self is safe, or that true (vs. pseudo) wound- recovery will promote significant benefits for them and people around them. Normal symptoms of this distrust include thoughts like "This is stupid New Age psychobabble. Forget it!"; "No way I have a 'false self!'"; "Everybody is a little wounded, so no big deal;" "I'm not wounded, but my (partner / ex mate / stepchild / _____ is)!"; and "I probably should assess for these wounds. I'll get to it (later)." Project 1 provides a dozen assessment checklists to overcome protective false-self deceptions. Many wounded people must stabilize and control (vs. "cure") one or more addictions before they can progress with full recovery from false-self wounds. Are you willing to assess for false-self wounds now? |
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