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How do you define "confrontation"? Would you agree that re-spectful, empathic confrontations (assertions) are required for rela-tionship-building and effective problem solving? Many people feel confront and confrontation are "negative." Often these emotionally loaded terms are associated with sarcasm, shame, blame, belitt-ling, anger, selfishness, aggression, frustration, and disrespect. A better view is that a confrontation can be a productive invi-tation to another person to dissolve harmful denial, and face some personal or relationship problem honestly so it can be reduced for mutual benefit. The attitude underlying a confrontation (respectful or not) and the way it is discussed (e.g. calmly, directly, respectfully, empathically, and succinctly) can make thoughtful confrontations useful and welcome. To achieve this, people need to (a) be guided by their true Self, (Lesson 1), (b) want to learn and use effective-communications ba-sics and skills (Lesson 2), and (c) see their and each partner's needs, dignity, integrity, and rights as co-equal. close |
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