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How do you define "confrontation"? Would you agree that respectful, empathic confrontations (assertions) are required for relationship-building and effective problem solving? Many people feel confront and confrontation are "negative." Often these "hand-grenade" (emotionally loaded) terms are associated with sarcasm, shame, blame, belittling, anger, selfishness, aggression, guilt, frustration, and disrespect. A more helpful view is that a confrontation can be a productive invitation to another person to dissolve harmful denial, and honestly face some personal or relationship problem so it can be reduced for mutual benefit. The attitude underlying a confrontation (respectful or not) and the way it is discussed (e.g. calmly, directly, respectfully, empath-ically, and succinctly) can make thoughtful, responsible confrontations useful and welcome. To achieve this, people need to (a) be guided by their true Self, (b) want to learn and use effective-communication basics and skills, and (c) see their and each partner's needs, dignity, integrity, and rights as co-equal. Does this describe you yet? |
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