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One of five reasons millions of U.S. stepfamily re/marriages fail is co-parent unawarenesses and ignorance (lack of knowledge). Three key ignorances are "What is a 'stepfamily'?", "How do typical stepfamilies differ from intact biofamilies?", and "What do these differences mean to us - what's normal in a typical stepfamily?" Typical needy courting and re/committed co-parents don't know what they don't know - and/or they don't want to know the major problems they and their kids and relatives will surely encounter. From 29 years' professional study, this site proposes 12 co-parental Projects to avoid probable major family stress and re/divorce. Seven projects are best begun during courtship. Of these, Project 3 focuses on co-parents helping each other (a) accept their stepfamily identity, and (b) agreeing on who belongs to their multi-generational stepfamily. That enables co-parents to do Project 4 - learn how typical stepfamilies differ from intact biofamilies in ~70 ways, and what these differences mean to their adults and kids. Investing time to learn these empowers stepfamily adults to change up to 60 common myths into realistic expectations of themselves and each other, as they merge three or more biofamilies (Project 9) and evolve and stabilize over a dozen alien new stepfamily roles (responsibilities) and related rules. Then co-parents can inform kids, relatives and supporters of these as they all work together to evolve and enjoy a high-nurturance stepfamily over the years. slides / more detail / Project-4 index and guidebook / close |
Project 4 -