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On the surface, typical stepfamilies look very similar to average intact biofamilies - and they differ in over 70 structural and developmental ways. One difference is - typical multi-generational stepfamilies have more adults and kids, more conflicting needs and values, more adjustment (merger) tasks, and extra developmental stages to traverse. Personal and social unawarness of these differences promote five hazards which cause millions of typical U.S. stepfamily mates to re/divorce psychologically or legally - often in mid-life. Research suggests that co-parents can protect themselves and their kids from this tragic outcome by committing to help each other progress on 12 specific Projects - starting (ideally) in courtship. Project 6 invites co-parents to use learnings from Projects 1-5 to build a solid foundation for what they hope to achieve together long-term. A sturdy foundation is (1) drafting a meaningful stepfamily mission statement together; and (2) using it to assess their minor kids' special needs and then (3) drafting co-parent "job descriptions." Doing so can minimize caregiving conflicts, and help to form the effective adult nurturing team their kids rely on them for. Court-ing couples who choose to re/marry (Project 7) can refine these two founda-tions as they merge three or more biofamilies (Project 9) and build an effective co-parenting team (Project 10) over four or more years. more detail / Project-6 index and guidebook / close |
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