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Serious co-parent dating (courtship) starts a stunningly complex multi-year process affecting scores of widely-scattered adults and kids. This process is semi-consciously merging and stabilizing over a dozen groups of invisible things. Typical courting and newly-re/wedded co-parents are largely unaware of the scope of this merger, and how to handle the relentless stream of family-identity, membership, values, and loyalty conflicts and relationship triangles that their majestic merger creates. At the same time, one or both of the courting co-parents and their ex mates, kids, and kin are moving through another complex, multi-year process -: personal and family adjustment to divorce or adult death. Family Project 9 helps raise co-parents' awareness of these two interactive processes, and strengthen their abilities to (a) manage the pace of merging, (b) master the many conflicts they'll encounter a day at a time, and (c) help each other identify and grieve the losses that all adults and kids experience from both processes while "regular life" happens. Co-parents who invested significant effort in Projects 1-7 and co-commit to ongoing Project 8 (nourish your primary relation-ship) have the best odds to manage and stabilize merger and prior-family adjust-ments over four or more years after exchanging vows. Two key sub-projects are all affected adults (a) identifying all the things they must merge, and (b) evolving and co-managing a merger plan together. slides / more detail / Project 8-12 guidebook / Project-9 index / close |
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