|
Families exist to fill the primary needs of (nurture) their adults and kids. Members of typical multi-home divorcing families and stepfamilies have normal developmental needs and a complex, concurrent set of alien family-adjustment needs. When psychologically- wounded co-parents (a) aren't aware of all these needs and (b) can't work together to fill them over time, the nurturance-level of their family drops. That promotes minor kids developing impaired personalities, continuing an ancestral cycle of unintended wounding and unawareness. Project 10 has two main long-term goals: based on a thoughtful stepfamily mission statement (Project 6), caregiving adults (a) overcome significant barriers to clarify their responsibilities and evolve an effective nurturing team, and (b) evolve an system of effective child discipline to guide, protect, and teach, vs. punish. Success at these goals over time is proportional to the co-parents' true Selves leading their efforts (Project 1), using effective communication skills (Project 2), growing awareness and knowledge (Projects 3 and 4), co-managing an effective biofamily merger plan (Project 9), learning everyone's primary needs, finding and using informed supports (Project 11); and helping each other stay balanced while juggling these and other current life responsibilities and activities (Project 12). The unique, practical guidebook for this vital long-term Project is Build a Co-parenting Team after divorce or remarriage, by Peter Gerlach, MSW. more detail / stepparenting slides / Project-10 index / Q&A / close |
About