|
How to Resolve Major
Values
Conflicts
A values conflict occurs when two or more
people disagree on a belief, preference, priority, or perception. Common responses to
these clashes include arguing ("I'm right, you're wrong.");
manipulating ["If you (don't) agree with me, I'll ___"]; and/or
avoiding,
denying, pretending to agree, or withdrawing;
The best options are (a) respectfully compromising, or
(b) agreeing to disagree. Steps to do this include:
-
Confirm
that each person is
by his/her
If not, switch your focus to
the disabled Self, or lower your expectations.
-
Each person learn and apply these communication
basics and
-
your respective
and agree they're of
-
Affirm that neither of you is "right" or "wrong"
-
your values just
differ
-
learn the concepts of (a)
and mutual values conflicts, (b) win-win compromises, and (c) agree on clear
definitions of each of them. Then (d) expand your vocabularies to include
these terms and your definitions
-
(a) learn each other's personal
and (b) agree on your co-equal rights as dignified persons
-
when internal and mutual values conflicts occur
at the same time, help each other resolve the internal conflicts first
-
If you can't find a mutually-acceptable compromise to your
conflict, agree to disagree
(vs. "giving in") for the sake of
relationship harmony
slides /
more detail
/ example 1 >
/
worksheet /
close
|