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An addiction is an uncontrollable compulsion to reduce relentless inner pain by self-medication with (a) chemicals, (b) an activity, (c) a relationship, or (d) a mood, like excitement, sexual arousal, rage, and/or religious ecstasy. Some behaviors are com-pulsive but are not true addictions. The inner pain comes from significant false-self wounds. True addictions have these unmistakable traits: they... 1) are irrational and uncontrollable - logic (reasoning), pleading, manipulation, and criticism will not reduce a true addiction; and they... 2) are progressive: the addictive behavior moves through predictable stages over months or years, resulting in "hitting bottom" and preliminary recovery, or premature death. And addictions... 3) are fiercely minimized or denied, despite clear evidence to the contrary. And they... 4) relentlessly cause pain and injury to the addict and other people - specially family members. They... 5) may evoke the compulsion of codependence (relationship addiction) in some other people. And they... 6) have four phases: (a) active addiction, (b) pseudo recovery (new behavior, same attitudes and values), (c) preliminary (12-step) recovery (different attitudes, values, spirituality, and behaviors); and (d) full recovery (a Self-led, harmonious personality). And addictions... 7) can be controlled with help, but not cured - unless the addict chooses full self-motivated recovery from false-self wounds. An effective way to evolve full recovery is via skilled inner-family therapy. See Project 1 here. slides / Project-1 index and guidebook / more detail / close |
