Common Communication Blocks

      People communicate to reduce or fill primary needs (discomforts). Effective communication (1) fills each person's current primary needs well enough, and (2) everyone feels good enough about themselves + each other person + the process between them. Most adults and all kids lack knowledge of and skill at communi-cating, and aren't aware of factors like these in important social situations:

  • signs of significant false-self wounds

  • too little or too much eye-contact

  • current communication needs, and whether they mesh

  • overfocusing on the past or the future

  • current and chronic R(espect)-messages

  • using " hand-grenade" words and phrases

  • each person's E(motion)-level  and awareness "bubble"

  • focusing on surface symptoms, not primary needs

  • interrupting and/or assuming (mind reading)

  • arguing, fighting, or withdrawing, vs. problem solving

  • being unaware of the current communication process

  • not requesting or giving empathic-listening checks

      Family Project 2 provides communication basics and skills to replace these common blocks with win-win exchanges. The skills work best when all people are guided by their true Selves ( Project 1).

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