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Premise: a relationship exists between two people if someone (subjec-tively) believes one or both are "significantly" affected by the welfare, attitu-des, behavior, and needs of the other. Typical stepfamily adults and suppor-ters often aren't aware of over 70 differences between their family and tradi-tional intact biofamilies - so they (mistakenly) use biofamily expectations to form and judge their relationships and roles. One vaguely-known stepfamily uniqueness is the sheer number of possible relationships and that arise as three or more multi-generational biofamilies merge over many years. In any group of "N" people (like your family), the number of possible relationships ("R") is [ N x (N-1) / 2 ]. So in this nuclear stepfamily of six adults and three kids, R = [ (9 x 8) / 2 ] = 36 possible relationships to clarify and manage. Often, some such people didn't choose to relate, and don't really like, trust, respect, or bond with each other. Others become good friends over time. In a multi-generational (extended) stepfamily of 64 kids and adults, there are [ (64 x 63) / 2 ] = 2,016 possible relationships! Many of these people may seldom or never interact - but they all influence each other in webs of genetic, financial, legal, historic, and psychological ways. Computing the possible number of relationships to forge in your step-family requires you to be clear on who you define as "a member." Family Project 3 focuses on validating and resolving stepfamily identity and mem-bership conflicts. Projects 9 and 10 focus on merging biofamilies and evol-ving harmonious relationships together. A BIG challenge for most people! close |
Stepfamily