|
All healthy adults and kids experience significant losses (broken bonds) throughout their lives. Nature provides an effective way to recover from our losses: grief, or mourning. One of several requisites for healthy grief is to have consistent (a) internal (personal) and (b) social "permi- ssions" to grieve fully and well in our own unique way. Internal permissions come from personality subselves' believing that the grieving process is essential for personal and relationship health. Our subselves' beliefs are usually influenced by early-childhood care-givers' and hero/ines' perceived values about losses and grieving. The core internal permission sounds like "It is good and healthy for me to grieve my losses thoroughly - despite what others say or need." Social (external) permissions to grieve well come implicitly or directly from the perceived behavior people around us. If their dominant sub-selves are uncomfortable with our and/or their own grief, they will imply or demand that we should not grieve - at all, or in front of them. People denying external encouragements to grieve are usually wounded and uninformed, not bad, selfish, or insensitive. Project 5 in this nonprofit Web site is devoted to promoting healthy 3-level personal and family grief. more detail / slides / Q&A / Project 5 link-index / close |
About "