About "Good Grief"

        Unless they're severely wounded, infants, kids, and adults form attach-ments (psychological-spiritual bonds) to special things, people, ideas, dreams, rituals, places, sounds, and places. Life inexorably invites or forces us to break these bonds (losses), and human nature provides the healing process of grieving or mourning to recover from this so we can make new bonds. Healthy grief progresses through phases on two or three levels:

 

Mental level: (initial confusion and "magic thinking" > trial ques-tions and answers > clarity > full acceptance of  loss/es and im-pacts)

Emotional level: (shock and disbelief > false hope or numbness  > anger / rage > sadness / despair > emotional stability)

Spiritual level: initial faith > questioning / rejecting / anger with God ("How could You allow this?") > acceptance > stable new faith.

 

        People raised or living in low-nurturance families can be blocked from grieving to full acceptance. Until they choose pro-grief environments, heal their wounds, and dispel any myths about healthy mourning, blocked grievers may be unable or unwilling to form new bonds This can promotes family loyalty conflicts, relationship triangles, and disharmony. Marrying before all related adults and kids are well along on all three grief levels risks serious relationship problems, and - combined with four other hazards - di-vorce. Family Lesson 3 is about assessing for blocked or incomplete grief, freeing it, and evolving a high-nurturance,  pro-grief family together.

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