|
Typical nuclear stepfamilies are far more complex than intact biofami-lies! They have 3 or more co-parents and several kids who each have several dozen concurrent special adjustment needs, and many more confusions and distractions. These all combine to make nurturing minor stepkids and half-siblings effectively very challenging. Typical stepfamily co-parents (bioparents and stepparents) need help (a) learning what being in a stepfamily means, (b) assessing what each minor child needs, (c) overcoming many barriers to caregiving teamwork, and (d) mastering major values and loyalty conflicts to agree on who's responsible for filling each child's needs, how, and when. An effective way to reduce co-parent conflicts and fill stepkids' needs is to create co-parent "job" (responsibility) descriptions. These are written documents like many businesses use to help their employees be clear on their responsibilities and priorities, and how their performance will be judged. Family Projects 1-6 and 10 in this Web site suggest specific steps to take to (a) resolve any co-parent inclusion (membership) conflicts, (b) evolve a stepfamily mission statement, (c) build an effective co-parenting team, (d) assess each child's developmental and special needs, and (e) co-operatively maintain and use meaningful co-parent job descriptions. Typical intact bio-families are far simpler and their roles are clearer, so adults don't usually need job descriptions. That's why most step-adults have no experience with them, and don't intuitively see their great long-term value. Sample job description / worksheet / related info / close |
About Co-parent