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Typical nuclear stepfamilies are far more complex than intact biofamilies! They have three or more co-parents and several kids who each have several dozen concurrent special adjustment needs, and many more confusions and distractions. These all combine to make nurturing minor stepkids and half-siblings effectively very challenging. Typical stepfamily co-parents (bioparents and stepparents) need help (a) learning what being in a stepfamily means, (b) assessing what each minor child needs, (c) overcoming many barriers to care-giving teamwork, and (d) mastering major values and loyalty conflicts to agree on who's responsible for filling each child's needs, how, and when. An effective way to reduce likely co-parent conflicts and fill stepkids' needs is to create co-parent "job" (responsibility) descriptions. These are written docu-ments like many businesses use to help their employees be clear on their re-sponsibilities and priorities, and how their performance will be judged. Family Projects 1-6 and 10 in this Web site suggest specific steps to take to (a) resolve any co-parent inclusion (membership) conflicts, (b) evolve a stepfamily mission statement, (c) build an effective co-parenting team, (d) assess each child's developmental and special needs, and (e) co-operatively maintain and use meaningful co-parent job descriptions. Typical intact biofamilies are far simpler and their roles are clearer, so adults don't usually need job descriptions. That's why most step-adults have no experience with them, and don't intuitively see their great long-term value. Sample job description / worksheet / related info / close |
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