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In consulting with over 1,000 courting and/or unhappy divorcing-family and remarried co-parents since 1981, I've observed a common theme: many mates (1) aren't able to describe their and their partner's core life priorities clearly, or (2) they can, and their primary relationship doesn't rank in the top three or four places. This usually indicates unseen false-self wounds and related unaware-ness + denials + ineffective communication + unresolved grief and/or guilts from prior divorce/s and other losses. Many claim they're "too busy" with caregiving, work, home maintenance, working out, socializing, worship, and community activities to find much time for nourishing their primary relation-ship. If this is true nationally, no wonder over half of U.S. marriages eventu-ally fail psychologically or legally. Mates' actions indicate their true priorities better than their words. Ideally, courting partners steadily rank their primary relationship second only to personal health, growth, safety, and integrity. Typical family dynamics guarantee they'll have to demonstrate their priorities because of frequent values and loyalty conflicts and relationship triangles along the way. Project 8 in this Web site and the Remarriage Book focus on nourishing your pri-mary relationship amidst many competing roles, responsibilities, and events. Ongoing Project 12 is about helping each other balance all these well enough, over time. priorities worksheet / Project-8 link index / Q&A / close |
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