About Requests vs. Demands

        A request is (a) asserting a need respectfully, and (b) tolerating responses like "No," "Not now," "Maybe," and/or "I don't know." A demand is asserting disrespectfully and/or not tolerating any of these responses. Demands usually imply or describe  consequences attached to them, and may imply "My needs are more important than yours right now. These can cause hurt, resentment, anger, antagonism, and/or anxiety, which all block effective communication.

        Some threats can feel like demands with vague or implied painful consequences. Demands imply the speaker is unaware or overwhelmed, not able to problem-solve, and may be ruled by a false self. For more perspective and options, read about effective assertion.

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