Courtship Decisions: Unwise Reasons to Commit

        In recent decades, millions of U.S. mates have re/divorced psychologically or legally. One of three related reasons is needy, unaware, wounded men and women marrying an alluring partner for the wrong core reasons, and denying that. These unwise reasons can include needs like these...

  • to rescue someone

  • to end loneliness

  • to get co-parenting help

  • to prove something

  • to gain excitement

  • to end the "dating game"

  • to stop "living in sin"

  • to relieve financial stress

  • to get revenge and/or approval

  • to feel socially "normal"

  • to legitimize lust (reduce guilt)

  • to help one or more kids

  • to reduce fears and doubts

  • to gain freedoms

         Projects 1-7 in this divorce-prevention Web offer courting partners a way to assess whether they're making three wise commitment choices. For more detail on these choices, see courtship  Project 7,  and use these self-assess-ment worksheets. The practical guidebook for these vital Projects is Stepfam-ily CourtshipMuch of it applies to all courting couples.

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