Common examples of unwise reasons to commit to a primary partnership.

Courtship Decisions: Unwise Reasons to Commit

In recent decades, millions of U.S. mates have re/divorced psychologically or legally. One of three related reasons is needy, unaware, wounded men and women marrying an alluring partner for the wrong core reasons, and denying that. These unwise reasons can include needs like these...

to rescue someone
to end loneliness
to get co-parenting help
to prove something
to gain excitement
to end the "dating game"
to stop "living in sin"

to relieve financial stress
to get revenge and/or approval
to feel socially "normal"
to legitimize lust (reduce guilt)
to help one or more kids
to reduce fears and doubts
to gain freedoms

Projects 1-7 in this divorce-prevention Web offer courting partners a way to assess whether they're making three wise commitment choices. For more detail on these choices, see courtship Project 7, and use these self-assess-ment worksheets. The practical guidebook for these vital Projects is Stepfam-ily Courtship. Much of it applies to all courting couples.

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