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Premise - the personality of most (all?) normal adults and kids is com-posed of three groups of "subselves," the way athletic teams or orchestras are composed of individuals with unique talents and limitations. The groups are young reactive Inner Children, alert Guardians who protect them, and a group of Regulars, including your talented true Self (capital "S"). A universal Guardian subself can be called your Inner Critic. S/He cease-lessly fills your conscious mind with detailed acid descriptions of your flaws, failings, mistakes, and stupidity. Often this diligent protector works with your Cynic / Doubter, and vocal Perfectionist, Worrier, and Catastrophizer subselves to discount inner and outer praise, focus only on your errors and weaknesses, and rebuke you for every (imagined) sin and failure. S/He may also vigorously blame and shame other people. When your well-meaning Inner Critic is not moderated by your Self, your resident Shamed, Guilty, and/or Scared inner children activate and flood you with their intense feelings and thoughts. Often the Inner Critic distrusts and takes over your Self, and lives in a traumatic (unsafe) earlier time. S/He usually is trying to protect you from being harmed as you were as a child. Family Project 1 can gradually convince this diligent Guardian that it's safe to moderate her or his criticism, protect the inner kids from stress, live in the present time, and rely on the resident Self to keep you safe enough each day. Doing this helps reduce the crippling wounds of excessive fears, shame and guilt. Have you ever thought of asserting limits with your relentless inner Critic as you would with an external aggressor? I recommend Embracing Your Inner Critic, by Hal and Sidra Stone to augment the Project-1 Web pages. more detail / slides / Project-1 guidebook / Q&A / close |
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