Premise: one widespread cause
of family stress and psychological or legal
is adult
ignorance - i.e. lack of information, not stupidity:
-
Typical adults don't know about (a) the
psychological
that usually result from growing up in a
environment, and (b) what the wounds
-
Typical courting
couples don't know what they need to know
to avoid committing to the wrong
for the wrong
at the
wrong
-
Typical married couples don't know what
they need to know to prevent or resolve major family role and
relationship conflicts and
impasses; and...
-
Many human-service
don't
know what courting and married couples and co-parents need to know to marry wisely, resolve relationship problems effectively,
and nurture dependent kids well enough.
Links below lead to informational articles that
can be printed and distributed as handouts to alert people to
(a) the [wounds + ignorance]
and (b) the six core topics
most people need to learn for their and their family's
protection.
Based on clinical research since 1979, these articles were written with divorced-family and
stepfamily readers and supporters in mind. Nonetheless,
the theme of each article applies to all women
and men seeking to reduce stress in their relationships and
homes, guard their kids, and avoid passing on the invisible [wounds + ignorance]
cycle.
Each article includes its Web address (URL), so interested readers can access
the original online article and follow the related links in them for
more information. Note that you're
free to print and distribute any article or worksheet in this nonprofit site,
if you cite (a) the source (the non-profit Web site "Stepfamily
InFormation" (http://sfhelp.org), and (b)
the author, Peter K. Gerlach, MSW.
When I can, I'll condense these articles and remove the stepfamily heading
and references, so they're more universal. If you're a lay person or
human-service
interested in preventing family stress and divorce, read this
overview, and use this
reading list to prepare
yourself. Then use these handouts and your own teachings to alert other
people to help break the epidemic cycle.
Informational Handouts on Six Key Topics
To understand the [wounds + ignorance]
that stresses most American families and promotes widespread psychological
and legal
people need to become aware of six key topics.
These topics are explained and
illustrated in this series of guidebooks based on the articles and worksheets in this
nonprofit Web site.
-
Personality Subselves and False-self Wounds
-
Communication basics and skills
-
Healthy grieving basics
-
Healthy relationship basics,
-
Effective parenting basics; and...
-
Stepfamily basics, hazards, and protections
1) Handouts about Personality
Subselves and False-self Wounds
-
Brief introductions to...
-
Common behavioral
symptoms of false-self
and true-Self personality leadership
-
An open
letter to
skeptics
Link-index to all related
Web articles and worksheets:
http://sfhelp.org/01/links01.htm
Guidebook for assessing and
reducing inner wounds: Who's Really Running Your Life? Free your
Self, and Guard Your Kids; by Peter K. Gerlach, MSW; Xlibris Co; 2002
(2nd edition)
2) Handouts about Effective Communication
Link-index of articles
about effective communication:
http://sfhelp.org/02/links02.htm
Guidebook for effective
communication: Satisfactions - 7 Relationship Skills You
Need to Know, by Peter K. Gerlach, MSW; Xlibris Co., 2002)
3) Handouts about Healthy
Grieving
Link-index to grief-related
articles and worksheets:
http://sfhelp.org/05/links05.htm
4) Handouts on High-nurturance Relationships
5) Handouts on
Effective Child-nurturance
Link-index to articles
about cooperative child-raising:
http://sfhelp.org/10/links10.htm
Guidebook - Build
a Co-parenting Team after Divorce and/or Re/marriage, by Peter K.
Gerlach, MSW; Xlibris, Co., 2002
6) Handouts on
Stepfamilies
Non-profit Web site
with over 200 articles on evolving a high-nurturance stepfamily:
http://sfhelp.org
Link-index to questions
typical co-parents need to ask (and answers):
http://sfhelp.org/qa/q&a.htm
Selected stepfamily resources
-
http://sfhelp.org/11/resources.htm
Free 8-module course for
courting and remarried co-parents:
http://sfhelp.org/07/bhsf/intro.htm
Guidebooks by
Peter K.
Gerlach, MSW:
Stepfamily Courtship - make
three right decisions; Xlibris Co., 2001
Build a High-nurturance
Stepfamily - a guidebook for co-parents; Xlibris Co., 2001
Handout on the [Wounding + Ignorance] Cycle
Knowledge of the six core topics above empowers co-parents and supporters to
understand this cycle and its
toxic effects.
Link-index to articles on
how to help prevent this cycle: http://sfhelp.org/prevent/index.htm