Break the [wounds + unawareness] cycle and guard your descendents

Index: Handouts on Six Topics
that can Reduce Family Stress and
Prevent Divorce Trauma

By Peter K. Gerlach, MSW

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The Web address of this article is http://sfhelp.org/prevent/handouts.htm

Premise: one widespread cause of family stress and psychological or legal divorce is adult ignorance - i.e. lack of information, not stupidity:

  • Typical adults don't know about (a) the psychological wounds that usually result from growing up in a low-nurturance environment, and (b) what the wounds mean.

  • Typical courting couples don't know what they need to know to avoid committing to the wrong person/s, for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time.

  • Typical married couples don't know what they need to know to prevent or resolve major family role and relationship conflicts and impasses; and...

  • Many human-service professionals don't know what courting and married couples and co-parents need to know to marry wisely, resolve relationship problems effectively, and nurture dependent kids well enough.

        Links below lead to informational articles that can be printed and distributed as handouts to alert people to (a) the [wounds + ignorance] cycle and (b) the six core topics most people need to learn for their and their family's protection.

        Based on clinical research since 1979, these articles were written with divorced-family and stepfamily readers and supporters in mind. Nonetheless, the theme of each article applies to all women and men seeking to reduce stress in their relationships and homes, guard their kids, and avoid passing on the invisible [wounds + ignorance] cycle.

        Each article includes its Web address (URL), so interested readers can access the original online article and follow the related links in them for more information. Note that you're free to print and distribute any article or worksheet in this nonprofit site, if you cite (a) the source (the non-profit Web site "Stepfamily InFormation" (http://sfhelp.org), and (b) the author, Peter K. Gerlach, MSW. 

        When I can, I'll condense these articles and remove the stepfamily heading and references, so they're more universal. If you're a lay person or human-service professional interested in preventing family stress and divorce, read this overview, and use this reading list to prepare yourself. Then use these handouts and your own teachings to alert other people to help break the epidemic cycle. 

Informational Handouts on Six Key Topics

        To understand the [wounds + ignorance] cycle that stresses most American families and promotes widespread psychological and legal divorce, people need to become aware of six key topics. These topics are explained and illustrated in this series of guidebooks based on the articles and worksheets in this nonprofit Web site.

  • Personality Subselves and False-self Wounds

  • Communication basics and skills

  • Healthy grieving basics

  • Healthy relationship basics,

  • Effective parenting basics; and...

  • Stepfamily basics, hazards, and protections

 1) Handouts about Personality Subselves and False-self Wounds

Link-index to all related Break the Cycle! Web articles and worksheets: http://sfhelp.org/01/links01.htm

Guidebook for assessing and reducing inner wounds: Who's Really Running Your Life? Free your Self, and Guard Your Kids; by Peter K. Gerlach, MSW; Xlibris Co; 2002 (2nd edition)

2) Handouts about Effective Communication

Link-index of articles about effective communication:  http://sfhelp.org/02/links02.htm

Guidebook for effective communication: Satisfactions - 7 Relationship Skills You Need to Know, by Peter K. Gerlach, MSW; Xlibris Co., 2002)


3) Handouts about Healthy Grieving

Link-index to grief-related articles and worksheets:  http://sfhelp.org/05/links05.htm


4) Handouts on High-nurturance Relationships

5) Handouts on Effective Child-nurturance

Link-index to articles about cooperative child-raising:  http://sfhelp.org/10/links10.htm

Guidebook  - Build a Co-parenting Team after Divorce and/or Re/marriage, by Peter K. Gerlach, MSW; Xlibris, Co., 2002

6) Handouts on Stepfamilies

Non-profit Web site with over 200 articles on evolving a high-nurturance stepfamily:  http://sfhelp.org

Link-index to questions typical co-parents need to ask (and answers): http://sfhelp.org/qa/q&a.htm

Selected stepfamily resources - http://sfhelp.org/11/resources.htm

Free 8-module course for courting and remarried co-parents:  http://sfhelp.org/07/bhsf/intro.htm

Guidebooks by Peter K. Gerlach, MSW:

Stepfamily Courtship - make three right decisions; Xlibris Co., 2001

Build a High-nurturance Stepfamily - a guidebook for co-parents; Xlibris Co., 2001


Handout on the [Wounding + Ignorance] Cycle

        Knowledge of the six core topics above empowers co-parents and supporters to understand this cycle and its toxic effects.

Link-index to articles on how to help prevent this cycle: http://sfhelp.org/prevent/index.htm

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Created  October 25, 2008