Premises
I assume that your key job responsibilities include helping to...
-
find the
best person for each job,
-
create incentives,
opportunities, and resources for employees to develop and use their talents and skills,
-
provide resources to improve the effectiveness of management at all
levels, and...
-
prevent or resolve conflicts among co-workers and other
organizations.
If this isn't accurate, say out loud what your main job
responsibilities are now.
Your
work role suggests that (a) your employer cares about your co-workers as
people, and that (b) you are interested in helping your co-workers "be all
they can be." With your management's
support and your authority, you have
a unique chance to significantly improve your co-workers' business and
personal lives. Your executives and board members
are probably not aware of this opportunity. For perspective, read this
related article for organizational executives.
Management at all levels must contantly choose between employees' personal
welfare and their organizational effectiveness. If your policy makers stress
the latter, I suggest that
helps to cripple our society by promoting employee
ignorance and psychological wounds. Restated: I propose that whatever the size of your organization,
your management - and you - have a responsibility to inform your co-workers
to the [wounds + unawareness] cycle and its common toxic
and organizational effects.
From 17 years' work in two international organizations, I
suspect that the health and productivity of your
co-workers on all levels is significantly hampered by unawareness of the
cycle and its effects. If you're not familiar with them,
the first step toward
helping your co-workers reduce stress at work and home
is to...
Prepare Yourself
After 47 years' studying human development and behavior, I believe
the most crippling factor in all social and work relationships is
unawareness of (a) psychological wounds and (b) their toxic
and (c) how to
them. In a work setting, they promote significant
absenteeism, mediocre or poor job performance, co-worker discord, ineffective
communication and supervision, high turnover and retraining costs, and high
employee-benefit expenses.
To validate and understand what you just read,
for these wounds if
you haven't yet. Whether you feel you have modest or major wounds, you should now better
appreciate why having significantly-wounded executives and co-workers
can promote workplace problems like those above. This is even more likely if your
wounded co-workers are
ignorant of (a) effective communication and problem-solving skills, and (b) relationship basics.
To evaluate this premise, imagine your Board members and CEO taking this
quiz. Then scan this summary of common
communication blocks. Then take this
quiz about relationships, and read this
summary. Though these articles and
quizzes are written to people in stepfamilies, they are universal. How do
you think your chief policy and decision makers would do with these quizzes?
If you answer "Not very well," then you have (a) a major opportunity, and
(b) a
significant problem. The opportunity is to alert your co-workers at all
levels to these three topics. The challenge is - they will probably resist
you because they don't know they need to be alerted.
Before continuing, take a status
check. T = "True," F = "False," and ? =
"Somewhat," or "I'm not sure."
-
I affirm that the [wounds + unawareness]
cycle significantly impairs how our organization functions. (T
F ?)
-
It would be very useful to alert
my co-workers on all levels to each of the cycle and its personal and
work-related effects. (T F ?)
-
Our organization has no effective program in
place now to adequately alert our employees to the cycle and its
effects. (T
F ?)
-
We have a moral responsibility to
alert our employees on all levels to these topics (T F
?)
-
Once our chief policy makers understand
how the cycle affects us,
they will want to alert our employees to this and work to reduce the
cycle impacts on us and the people we serve. (T F
?)
-
Once employees understand the potential
personal benefits of reducing the effects of th [wounds +
unawareness] cycle, many of
them
will be motivated to learn and apply them (T F ?)
-
In my present job role, I'm responsible for
evolving and implementing an effective way of alerting our employees to
the cycle and options for reducing its toxic effects. (T F ?)
-
My
is
to this status check (T F ?) If not, expect
distorted responses.
What
did you just learn? On a scale of 1 (no motivation) to 10 (very
high motivation), how strong is your interest in educating your co-workers
on these topics now? If your answer is less than 7, I suspect you (a) may be
significantly
and/or (b) you're working in a low-nurturance
organization (led by wounded executives), and (c) this article will be of little practical value.
General Options
If you're interested in alerting your management and co-workers
to the [wounds + ignorance]
that pervades our culture, see
how you feel about these options:
-
Commit to
your
to
your other personality
as needed;
-
Decide that concern for your
employees'
is professionally appropriate;
-
Learn more about the pervasive [wounds +
ignorance] cycle and its
social, and business effects
by studying the Lesson-1 and
Lesson-2 articles here or the related
guidebooks;
-
Learn (a) what
are, (b) what an organization's
"nurturance level"
is, (c) assess your organization's present level
(low to high), and (d) act to raise the level as needed;
-
Estimate specifically how psychological wounds and
ignorance of the three topics at the top of this article are affecting your organizational
effectiveness, and summarize your findings and recommendations to board members and other key people.
-
Proactively alert your employees and
board members to
the three topics above, and encourage them to assess themselves and their families
for effects of the [wounds + ignorance] cycle. Then work to reduce the effects of these
stressors in your organization. More detail on this option below..
-
Upgrade your organization's hiring process to assess prospective new employees for
(a) significant wounds and (b)
knowledge
of the wounds and communication and
relationship basics;
-
Train and motivate managers and supervisors
to make these three factors a significant part of employee job
descriptions, performance evaluations, and termination procedures, as appropriate;
-
Alert corporate business partners to the
[wounds + ignorance] cycle and its organizational impacts,
and encourage them to alert their employees, funders, regulators as
appropriate; and...
-
Alert local or regional citizens to this
toxic cycle,
its personal effects, and what to
about it, as a public service.
-
Draft an employee-alert action plan, and discuss it with
your manager and other key co-workers.
Pause
and notice what your subselves are thinking and feeling now. Are they
enthused, resistant, or both? If they're resistant, review these ideas...
Overcome Resistances
If your ruling subselves are ambivalent or opposed to alerting your
co-workers to the [wounds + ignorance] cycle, see if they're using any of
these arguments to protect you from discomfort...
Resistance: "This
'psychological wounds' and 'subselves' stuff
seems like New Age psychobabble to me (so I'm not motivated to try these
stress-prevention steps)."
Response: That's
probably an inherited code for "I've programmed myself to believe anything
'psychological' or 'mental' is beyond my understanding or threatening." If so, invest in
rereading these introductory pages and
identify what - if anything - you don't understand after following
appropriate links. I propose that there is nothing about the
concept of personality subselves and wounds that an average high school senior couldn't understand.
Try out the attitude that "I need to understand these concepts for my
and my family's safety and welfare." Then read this
letter to you, and try this safe,
interesting exercise.
Resistance:
"It's not appropriate for me to alert people to their psychological problems
(wounds)."
Response:
Would you intuitively agree that executives and employees who are
significantly
and chronically
hinder your organization? Would you agree if a virulent disease
appeared in your region that it would be appropriate to alert and protect
your co-workers? Isn't your job about motivating and empowering
co-workers to be all they can be for personal and organizational benefits?
Premise: unrecognized psychological
are probably the biggest
single hindrance to maintaining a
high-nurturance, harmonious, and productive organization. Option:
imagine all your employees' living and future children assembled before you,
and you saying: "I know something that will protect you from lifelong
discomfort and heartache, but it's not my job to tell your parents about
it." Imagine someone saying that to any kids in your life.
Resistance:
"These stress-prevention steps are
for social workers or therapists, not me or my staff."
Response: - Would you
agree that you are first a person, and second a human-resource
professional? These steps are about people helping people live healthier,
longer, more productive lives. If your
organization hires or contracts with
social workers, alert them and ask their help. You and they
working together have a greater chance of helping your co-workers break the
[wounds + ignorance] cycle and lowering the odds of personal and
work-related problems. If you
don't have access to professional social workers, you are the front
line!
Resistance: "My superiors won't
understand this or support me if I try to alert co-workers to the cycle and
its effects on them and us."
Response: After you
have
honestly for
false-self wounds, ask your superiors to read (a) this
overview and (b) this online or printed article.
Then ask whether they're
interested in assessing whether the [wounds + ignorance]
is affecting
their family. Then ask if they'll support you in informing employees of the cycle and (at least) the three key
topics. If your
superiors still balk or are ambivalent or indifferent, they may be dominated by a false
self. If so, see this for options.
Resistance: "I've already got
too much work to do to alert employees to the cycle and its effects, and motivate them to
act."
Response: Review and
list your personal and work priorities. What is more impactful short and
long term than inviting your co-workers to (a) spot and heal their
psychological wounds, and (b) learn to communicate and relate more
effectively on the job and at home? How much time
would it take to ask an employee to read this article
and other summaries from this reading list?
Resistance: "OK, the [wounds + ignorance] cycle is real and toxic,
hinders our organization, and can be broken -
but average employees won't care!"
Response: If someone
you respected approached you and said "Would you be interested in protecting
yourself and your family from significant stress and health problems for the
rest of your life?" - how would you respond?
If s/he approached you and asked "Would you be interested in improving your
communication effectiveness by, say, 50%?," how would you respond?
If s/he they asked "Would you be interested in significantly improving the
quality of all your important personal and work relationships?," how would
you respond?
I have found that when typical women and men are asked these
questions, they want to find out more. Most people will care to learn
more and act on their own behalf, once they understand (a) the
three topics above, (b) what their
options are, and what (c)
resources can help them gain
these priceless benefits. Those that won't learn and act are dominated by protective
false selves, and will have to hit personal
and/or reach middle age to become receptive.
Resistance (doubt, skepticism, and procrastination) is a normal
false-self reaction to significant change, unless
the benefits are obvious. Human
is powered by (a)
significant current discomfort and/or the lure of significant
comfort (pleasure). Resistances to learning about reducing
wounds and improved communications and relationships like those above are usually caused by
ignorance + fear of the unknown + responsibility overload. The latter two
are cause by a protective, short-sighted false self.
Options for Alerting Your Co-workers
Your organizational role gives you unique authority to
alert your executives, managers, and other co-workers to the significant
benefits from learning about the cycle and these three
impactful topics. A keystone decision is whether to educate your
top policy makers first, or to inform them that you intend to alert
managers and employees, and why. Either way, you'll probably want to prepare
a written summary of the topics, their organizational impacts, and the benefits
of alerting your co-workers.
In the 1980s, public awareness of Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoA)
exploded. Joseph and Sharon Wegsheider-Cruise became highly-respected
corporate consultants on addictions and healing ACoA wounds. They were hired
to help the U.S. Army, NFL football teams, and major U.S. corporations
(a) understand the effects of these wounds on organizational productivity, and
(b) set up corporate programs to alert and heal employees.
Their approach was to
inform top executives and board members of ACoA wounds, and then insist that
these policy-makers assess themselves personally for the wounds. Their
international reputation, persuasiveness, and sincerity often got
compliance, where less well-known consultants wouldn't have.
If you're not internationally famous yet, there are a number of ways to
build a credible, compelling case to present to your top people. For
instance...
Option: conduct an in/formal survey of employee satisfaction with
(a) their jobs, (b) relations with co-workers, and (c) the effectiveness of
top managers. Use this and
this to help design your survey, and weave
in appropriate questions related to the three topics. For example, "Our
employees can clearly distinguish effective from ineffective communication -
(True / False / Not sure)
Option: compose a written summary of each of the three topics,
including how they typically affect organizational efficiency and teamwork.
Build on or adapt of these summaries of the six common
wounds, communication
skills and
blocks, and premises about solving
relationship problems. Use your summary to augment or precede
introductory presentations on the three topics.
Option: outline proposed employee seminars (goals, agenda,
and resources) for each topic, to augment your proposal to top and middle
managers. See the modules in this course
for specific ideas, disregarding the emphasis on stepfamilies. Note that
many of your employees may have troubled marriages, be divorced, or be in
stepfamilies. Each of these causes stress which can significantly lower job performance.
Option: make alerting co-workers to how these common
can affect their job effectiveness a fourth topic.
Option: survey relevant national organizations for educational
programs, materials, and examples. For example, the National Association
of Children of Alcoholics (NACoA), the
Hazelden Institute, and Alcoholics
Anonymous World Headquarters
all have experience at educating groups of people on addiction-related
wounds and healing options. These are subsets of the [wound + ignorance]
cycle proposed in this non-profit site, and can provide useful ideas and
examples.
Option: organize a pilot program to evaluate results from
alerting employees to the three topics and applying what they learn. Pick an
appropriate group (like your and/or any personnel or training staff), and inform
them of the three topics and their impacts. Then work with their manager or supervisor to coach
them to (a)
for
false-self wounds, and (b) use communication and relationship
basics and skills in their work for several months. Then interview these
people to assess the results, and compose a summary report for top
management and Retired Board review.
Option: survey a selection of supervisors or middle managers
to assess (a) their current awareness of these three or four topics, and (b)
their reaction to being trained in them, and then (c) training their employees.
Option: use a version of these
to help you assess. Then use your results to guide you in developing an
effective plan to alert your other managers and co-workers.
Option:
hire an organizational-development and/or motivational consultant to
help you design and implement options like these. Obviously, any consultant
would need to (a) understood the three topics and their significance in your
organization, and (b) genuinely want to alert your organization to them and
motivate employees to use the topical information at work and home.
I
suspect most credible consultants who already have programs for improving
employee communications and relationships would need to study how false-self
wounds degrade communication and work relationships. They'll probably also
need to consider how this scheme of communication
basics and
compare with their own concepts.
Back away from these details, and notice your thoughts and feelings. Is
your glass half-full or half empty now? Regain your vision of the overall
target: alerting your organization's top policy and decision-makers of (a)
the three topics, (b) how they affect your co-workers (and customers or
clients), and (c) the benefits of alerting your co-workers to the topics and
motivating them to act on what they learn.
The concept of organizational
nurturance-levels can help here. Premise: employees on all
levels have primary psychological needs (e.g. to feel respected and
trusted), and that nurturance means "filling needs." So the policies
of a "high-nurturance" organization will consistently satisfy most
employee's' primary needs. Is that true of your workplace policies now? If
not, what blocks raising your organization's nurturance level -
specifically? In my professional experience, the answer is usually some
version of employee and management [wounds + ignorance].
Take a status check now. On a scale of 1 (I'm not motivated to act on
the ideas in this article at all) to 10 (I'm very motivated to
act now), my motivation to alert my co-workers to these three topics is a
___. If you're answering before you've studied the three topics, do so, and
then try the status check again! For a way to study these topics, see
this.
|
What now? Once you have the awareness and support
of top executives and policy makers, see
this for ideas on strategies to alert your co-workers on the
three or four topics and what to do about them.
|
Recap
This article is one of a series for lay people and human-service
professionals on how to prevent and reduce the personal, family, organizational, and
social effects of (a) excessive psychological
and (b) significant ignorance of up to
In a work setting, three of the topics are specially impactful: wound-
and
and effective communication and
relationship basics and
Human-resource professionals are in a unique position to (a) understand the
personal and organizational impacts and benefits of these topics, (b) alert
employees on all levels to them, and (c) motivate them to act. This
article...
-
provides perspective on
these topics and benefits for such professionals,
-
suggests responses to normal
resistances to them, and...
-
summarizes options for
alerting co-workers to them and motivating them to act.
The article
invites you to
(a) study the three topics, (b) evaluate themselves and their
own families for their impacts before (c) assessing the relevance of the
topics to their organization's
productivity. This article complements this one
written to typical business executives.
Pause and reflect: why did you read this article? Did you get what you
needed? If not, what
you need now?
For
more perspective, read this related prevention article written
to professional motivators.
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The Web address of this article is
http://sfhelp.org/prevent/hr_pros.htm
Note
- this model and series was originally designed to focus on effective clinical
work with typical di-vorcing families and stepfamilies. It is being reorganized
in 2009 to pertain to all "low-nurturance" (multi-problem,
"dysfunctional") families, and persons recovering from early-childhood trauma
("Grown Wounded Children" - GWCs). Sections still hilight keys to serving
divorcing and stepfamily members effectively. 