Cycle-Prevention Options
To
grow motivation to help your relatives, co-workers, and media audience break
the [wounds + ignorance] cycle and protect their kids, you can...
-
(a) learn more
about these topics, and (b)
assess
yourself and your family for significant
from this cycle. What you learn can help motivate you to...
-
assess the
nurturance-level of your workplace, and...
-
decide if and how to alert your
co-workers and colleagues to the cycle, including your
senior executives and policy makers. Then you can...
-
alert your media audience to (a)
the cycle, (b) its effects, and (c) and their options to avoid or reduce
it in their families. You may also "go the extra mile" and ...
-
alert other people in your profession and
related associations and oversight and regulation organizations and
encourage them to help prevent the cycle.
Pause and notice your
now. Each link above leads to an article that provides more perspective and
detail on these prevention options. Let's take a closer look at your
fourth option:
Perspective on "Alerting Your Audience"
Because the [wounds + ignorance] cycle is composed of several concepts which
haven't been widely studied together yet,
you'll need to alert your audience
to the topics that comprise the cycle one at a time: for example:
-
an article or program on
the cycle as a whole, and
what it means to your audience;
-
an overview or series on
and psychological
-
an article, program, or series on
effective communication
basics,
and
-
an article, program, or series on...
-
and how psychological wounds can hinder or prevent it;
-
the three
levels and related phases of
healthy grieving;
-
personal and family grieving
and
and...
-
the causes,
and typical effects
of blocked grief, and
how to
and...
-
an article, program, or series on (a)
human
and (b) effective (high-nurturance)
relationships; and...
-
a related article, program, or series on
effective
and/or
marriage;
and optionally...
-
an article, program, or series on
stepfamily
basics,
and
and..
-
a summary program or article
integrating all of these
in a review of the overall [wounds + ignorance] cycle, and how it's
average families and our society, and suggesting what to do about it.
|
These topics are symptoms of
a core societal
problem: we Americans passively condone
irresponsible child-conception and ineffective parenting.
This inexorably promotes each part of our epidemic [wounds + ignorance]
cycle. Consider alerting your audience to that! For
perspective on how our lawmakers can help to reduce this
national denial and its tragic consequences, read
this. |
Pause and reflect on your reaction to this topical summary. If it seems too
big a project, note your option of picking one or a few parts of the overall
framework to alert your audience to.
Catch Your Audience's Attention
Premise: amidst an environment of media over-stimulation, typical
people are intrigued by media human-interest and environmental stories that
they can relate to. To interest your audience in any or all of the cycle-topics
above, you'll need to "hook" them, and then provide conceptual and
human-interest content. The linked articles and
resources in this article and site can
provide much of your conceptual content. To present it in an interesting way
after catching their attention, you'll need to identify and interview lay and professional people who
can comment coherently on each cycle-topic's reality and its effects.
One
way to interest your audience is to propose that the cycle poses a major
unseen threat to minor kids' long-term health and welfare. Another
attention-getter is the proposition that
the invisible cycle may be shortening their lives and significantly degrading
their life quality. A powerful attention-getter is to ask your audience "Do
you know who is really running your life?" Usually, people
say "I am" without any thought. Then ask "And who is this 'I'?"
Few people will say "Well, 'I' is the group of most active subselves in my
personality."
Follow up on these questions by (a) explaining and illustrating the idea of
subselves and true and False selves, and
then (b) invite your audience to assess themselves and/or another adult or
child for these common false-self symptoms.
Assure them that the symptoms indicates normal wounding, not
"mental illness."
Another possible initial hook is to challenge your audience with something
like "You and your kids probably don't know about four or five key topics
that can greatly improve the quality and satisfactions from of your
relationships. Stay tuned..."
Keep Your Audience Interested
Most
people don't want to hear or believe that they and their loved ones are at significant
risk of pain, illness, and loss. Conversely, people do want to
learn about things that will improve their lives and protect their kids. How
can you alert your audience to this major [wounds + ignorance] risk without
losing their interest? Motivating average people to study and accept the
cycle is like interesting them in learning about the real personal threats from Lyme's
disease, AIDS, bird flu, the West Nile virus, and global warming.
Reality:
for each of these very real personal health threats, there are (a) existing
victims who can testify, and (b) credible experts who can explain and
validate the concepts, threats, and protections. Your challenge here is to
find similar witnesses and experts to talk about the cycle and its effects.
Finding People to Validate False-self
Wound Symptoms
One
way of finding people affected by the cycle is to poll your audience for
symptoms of false-self dominance and invite their feedback. Another way is
to challenge your audience to take quizzes like
to
see what they need to learn. My
clinical experience with hundreds of average (Midwestern) people since 1987
is that a high majority of them have "many" behavioral
traits of false-self dominance.
I've also experienced
most average people who hear or read of the personality-subself concept say
That makes sense to me." I encourage you to
test both observations yourself.
Then ask your editors and/or producers to assess themselves
for false-self symptoms with an open mind. C/overt reluctance to do that
often suggests a protective false-self at work! See the section on
"Resistances" below.
Another way
to locate interesting interviewees who will testify to the reality of
personality subselves and/or life-skill ignorance is to poll experienced internal-family system
therapists for clients who are willing to talk to you. An easier but
less direct option is to seek people who acknowledge they struggle with
borderline, bi-polar, ADHD, DID, and similar "mood disorders."
If you do,
emphasize that their clinical
"disorder" is probably a symptom of false-self wounds, vs.
"chemical imbalances" or "mental illness." The view in this site is that
psychological wounding is a
normal, pervasive mind-body condition, not a "sickness" or
"illness."
A key
premise awaiting research validation is that
typical subselves can significantly
affect bodily neuronal, emotional, and basic physiological functioning
- like appetite; digestion; breathing; thinking; (some allergies and
headaches; muscle spasms, aches, and stiffness; sleep cycles; amnesia;
hormonal secretion; energy levels; heart rate; and blood flow. Currently
this is generally labeled as "psychosomatic" mind-body interaction,
and has many unknowns. Example: can individual or group prayer and/or guided
imagery really promote physiological healing?
Bottom
line: you have several practical options to find interesting lay people to
interview and/or quote on (a) personality subselves and (b) the other five
core topics in the [wounds + ignorance] cycle. Now, how about your options
for...
Finding Experts to Interview and Quote
You
should have no trouble identifying credible experts to interview who feel
that the general public needs to learn basic principles of effective
communication + healthy grieving + parenting + relationship skills.
There are also many credible mental-health experts versed in the prevalent
reality of "dissociative
(personality-splitting) disorders," including what used to be called
"multiple personality disorder" (MPD) - now dubbed "Dissociative Identity
Disorder (DID)." The challenge is that
many experts in dissociation are
not well versed yet in the central premise of this nonprofit Web
site and the Internal Family
Systems Association: that
average (vs. 'mentally ill') people's personalities are composed of
semi-independent subselves which govern daily thoughts, perceptions,
emotions, needs, and behaviors.
Options: (a) review this summary of
professionals who have researched and written about personality subselves,
and consider interviewing several of the authors. If you do, (b) ask them
for references to other qualified experts or commentators you might
interview.
If
you have read the prior articles in this series and the paragraphs above,
you now know enough to decide if you want to invest time and energy on
alerting other people to the cycle and urging them to prevent or break it.
If you feel skeptical or ambivalent about alerting your co-workers and
audience to the [wounds + ignorance] cycle or its components, your
may be trying to protect
you from public and/or professional ridicule and rejection. See if any of
these apply...
"Resistances" and Responses
Would
you agree that the subselves that rule most people are significantly
resistant to
- i.e. resistant to upsetting the security of what they're used to? This
series of prevention articles invites you to make significant changes in what you think
and do, so your protective subselves may generate thoughts like these:
Resistance:
"I'm skeptical of the idea that average people are dominated by a group of
personality subselves who cause 'psychological wounds. Convince me."
Response: Adopt the
patient, open mind of a student, and
assess whether your
is
your
now. If not, you (your false self) may not be willing to consider
these new ideas yet. Either way, read...
-
this
introduction, overview, and these
common questions about subselves and
wounds;
-
this example of
subselves affecting a real stepfamily,
-
this letter
to skeptics. Then...
-
try this interesting
experience with an open mind. Then...
-
scan this
booklist of some of the people
who have researched personality subselves over the last decades.
Finally...
-
review the
Internal Family System
Web site and this directory of mental-health professionals all over the
country who are trained in and applying this emerging
personality-subself concept
Resistance: "Ah,
this cycle-prevention thing is too big, alien, complicated, and
controversial. Someone else can do it."
Response: The six topics
that comprise the [wounds + ignorance] cycle and what they mean are
complex, and will not uplift or entertain your audience. Public
scourges like AIDS, cancer, homelessness, diabetes, and addictions are also
complex and sobering, yet many
media professionals and organizations have mobilized to combat them by
educating and motivating the public. Stay aware of your option to pick one
or a few of the six topics to focus on. You don't have to tackle the whole
cycle to be of significant help to your audience! If you don't do this - who
will?
Resistance:
"I've got
deadlines to make. I don't have time to look into this."
Response: You have 24
hours a day to use as you wish. If you feel deadlines imposed by
others in your organization are hindering you from researching the cycle (or
part of it) and alerting your audience, then focus on (a) explaining the
cycle to the deadline-makers, (b) inviting them to assess themselves and
their family for wounds and ignorance, and (c) proposing specifically how
you want to alert your audience. I
challenge you to think of a more important media project, even if your media
specialty is entertaining (vs. informing) your audience. You can use humor
and/or drama creatively to alert people indirectly, yes?
Resistance:
"This
is just more New
Age psychobabble. I've got more practical things to do."
Response: This is a
classic false-self protection against accepting the very real current
threats from psychological wounds and ignorance. If fearful subselves urge
you to believe this resistance, ask yourself (your subselves) "What would it
mean if this [wounds + ignorance] cycle is real and practical, not
psychobabble?" Then "listen" to the first thoughts that appear.
If you experience this resistance, I propose that your first priority is
that you're controlled by a
and restoring the personality leadership of your
Your second priority is assessing how any false-self wounds are affecting
your family. Your third priority is alerting your co-workers and audience to
the cycle and its effects.
Resistance:
"Other
people will
think I'm nuts / out to lunch / weird / preachy / a do-gooder..."
Response: If you allow
fear of other people's criticisms to prevent you from acting on your
integrity and you5r moral responsibility to alert your audience to a
significant threat, then your real issue is confronting that a false self
(e.g.
and
and/or
subselves) controls your life.
Adults and kids who are (a) unduly influenced
by
of social disapproval, scorn, and rejection; and/or are (b) compulsively
driven to value and gain fame, acceptance, admiration, and recognition; are
always majorly wounded. That is, they are
and/or fear-based, and are often in major
of that. Test: have you honestly
for false-self
dominance yet? Breaking the cycle
starts with you and your family.
Resistance:
"I'm just one
person. I can't make any real difference."
Response: I disagree.
Human history is full of examples of thousands of average
persons who believed strongly in a cause and brought about significant
social improvements - e.g. Jane Addams, George Washington, Martin Luther
King, Jonas Salk, Abraham Lincoln, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, John Dewey,
Charles Darwin, Thomas Edison, Sandra Day O'Connor, Oprah Winfrey, Walt
Disney, and hundreds more.
Why shouldn't you be such a person? (Listen to your subselves react to that
question!)
Resistance:
"My management will never approve of
this cycle-prevention project (so I won't try for it.")
Response: This is another
false-self ploy to avoid facing a "dangerous" situation - management
disapproval, scorn, and rejection. If your Self (capital "S") is
your personality, s/he will more likely say something like "Our first
challenge here is to alert our management people to the reality, severity,
and social scope of the [wounds + ignorance] cycle.
If you make a thoughtful attempt to alert your executives to the cycle and
they reject it, then your real challenge may be that you're working in a
low-nurturance environment which causes you
and your co-workers major stress every day. Part of
from false-self
is choosing a high-nurturance environment for yourself - i.e. one which is
maintained by people guided by their true Selves.
Resistance:
"My audience will discount, ignore,
or protest any attempt to alert them to this depressing cycle."
Response: Probably so. Does this
mean you should deprive those people courageous enough to face the cycle and
its implications of accurate information and practical options? Reality:
a significant portion of your audience is probably dominated by protective
false selves, which will try to avoid, deny, or discount your information
and premises. You can't control this. "Success" in this stress-prevention
context is alerting that portion of your audience which is ready to hear
your message, not alerting everyone. See yourself as a seed-planter,
not a world savior!
All "resistances" like these usually indicate that diligent
are
trying to protect you against (their perception of) significant pain and
injury. Your true Self is
more apt to cause thoughts like...
"It can't hurt
to learn more about the cycle-topics and my options before I decide whether to alert
my co-workers and audience."
"I really can make
a significant difference if I alert others to the cycle and what to do
about it - and I'll feel good about that."
"I want to be
proud of what I accomplish with my life, within my limits. This is a chance
to achieve something really worthwhile!"
Status Check
Reflect - which
are guiding your personality right now? How do they feel about
proactively alerting your co-workers and audience to the [wounds +
ignorance] cycle now? T = "true;" F = "false,' and ?
= "I'm
not sure," or "I'm ambivalent, so far."
-
I have honestly
assessed whether false-self wounds and related ignorance are harming
me and my family now and threatening my descendents (T F ?)
-
I clearly understand each of the
that comprise the cycle now, or I'm motivated to get clearer on
them in the next several weeks (T F ?)
-
I can now describe to an average adolescent
(a) how the cycle
The Web address of this article is
http://sfhelp.org/prevent/media.htm