Prepare to Help
If my assumptions are right, you're unaware of what specific kind of help
courting or re/married co-parents and their kids need. For an
overview, read ...
Each of these summaries is
linked to other articles with much more detail. Together, they start to explain why
well over half of typical stepfamilies eventually break up or live in daily misery.
What percentage of your patients would you guess are either in
divorcing biofamilies or courting or re/married stepfamilies -
more than half? Are you or a relative in a multi-generational
stepfamily? Many people are and don't know it. The National Center for
Health Statistics estimates that almost half of your
first-marriage patients will
divorce (legally), and about 40% of them will re/divorce in time. I
propose that the daily interpersonal stress in these families contributes
significantly to the medical problems that you're devoted to healing. Do you
feel that's credible?
If you were a co-parent in one of these families who was unaware of
these family stressors and their heath impacts, what would you want
your dentist, dietician, ophthalmologist,
dermatologist, pharmacist, obstetrician, chiropractor or other health
professional to know
and do for you and your kids? If there are low-cost ways that you
could help to prevent family stress and related medical problems, are
you interested in learning of them? Here are some practical options:
What
You Can Do
Option 1) Premise:
if you're unaware of being dominated by a protective false
self, your conscious attitudes about illness-prevention may not reflect
your unconscious beliefs and priorities. Your behavior and
communication will broadcast your true attitudes to patients
and colleagues as powerfully as any of the suggestions below.
After 27 years' mental-health experience, I believe many of us human-service
professionals were raised in low-nurturance
homes. One common result is inheriting the unconscious attitude of self
neglect, while serving others. A common sign of this is overwork (a.k.a.
"dedication.") To explore whether this is true for you, honestly
self-assess (a) yourself for
hidden false-self dominance, and (b) the
nurturance-level of your organization. The first assessment will give you direct experience with the
project this site proposes that all co-parents should do to protect
dependent kids from accidentally developing a dominant false self and up to
five related psychological wounds.
Notice your
now. Is it "resistant" to
these two assessments? If a false self dominates you,
those protective subselves will probably do anything they can to
block you from knowing it.
Option 2)
Refresh your awareness: where does your interest fall on the continuum
between preventing illness and healing it? As a medical professional,
what do you feel your ethical responsibility is to your patients on this
continuum? As you know, "no position" on this is a
position. Reflect: how does your belief about illness prevention
manifest in _ your own daily habits and _ your family's relationships?
Option 3) On
intake forms and/or interviews, ask if the patient is either in a
divorcing family or a "second- marriage" family. Language is
important, for many patients don't know they're in a stepfamily.
Others do know, but prefer not to admit it. The reason for asking is that
such people are often living in high-stress environments, or will -
which promotes illness.
Option 4) For patients who are in either a divorced
("single-parent") family or re/married (step)family,
proactively alert them that (1) the
high stress common to these families can raise the chance of illness
among their family members, and that (2) basic education can
significantly lower their risk.
Option 5) Provide
a brochure in your office and/or with your patient receipts or
invoices that _ defines "stress" and common causes,
_ alerts patients to the physical and mental health risks of family
stress, and _ suggests viable options and resources
- including this and similar Web sites.
More ways you can help to prevent illness by reducing patients' odds of
family stress ...
Option 6) Stay
alert for human-service colleagues and programs in your community,
including churches, which provide education, counseling, therapy, and/or
group support for divorced-family and stepfamily members. If you find any,
proactively mention them to patients in divorced and remarried families even
if they don't ask. Patients may know of resources that you don't.
Expand your referral network to include professionals who care about
family-stress prevention and reduction. Sharpen your
discernment by scanning this summary of the
special
qualifications typical health professionals need to provide effective
service to stepfamilies.
Option 7) Learn
the positions of the state and national medical associations you belong to
on _ illness-prevention vs. healing, and _ family stress
as a major cause or promoter of illness. Learn if they sponsor or offer any
member or patient education on identifying and reducing family stress. Four
specific areas to look for are ...
If your associations
have no clear positions, decide if you care enough about any of these
factors to proactively suggest that the organizations develop policies and
resources on them. If so, e-mail, phone, fax, or write them with your
vision. Option: suggest that association conference-agendas
include some or all of these topics.
Option 8) Promote
your office staff's awareness of these topics, and encourage them to
proactively raise patients' interest in them as part of the healthcare you
all offer.
Option 9) If
you speak to professional or civic groups or give media interviews,
include your views on co-parents' reducing their family's psychological
stress as a powerful illness prevention strategy.
Option 10) If
you're interested in learning more on how emotional stress and spiritual
emptiness contribute to the etiology of physical illness, survey
colleagues and professional sources for recommendations on writings or
sources relevant to your professional field. Some well-known authors
on this topic are ...
Option 11) If
you have alumni interest in, and/or influence with a professional
education school, suggest that they upgrade or expand their curricula to
include topics on how _ false-self dominance, _ wholistic family nurturance,
_communication effectiveness, _ healthy grief, and _ spiritual attitudes and
practices affect physical health and healing. Did you get any training in
these? Are interns in your field getting any now?
Option 12) If
you find any articles or resources in this
site you think are specially useful for your staff, colleagues, and/or
patients, copy* and share them. Option: suggest they visit this site, and
why you think it might be helpful. This is specially relevant for adults in
divorcing families and stepfamilies.
Option 13) If
you lead or contribute to staff in-services in your organization, propose
sessions on the illness prevention topics above. Option:
explore and select options from the professional
education section here.
Option 14)
(Add your own ideas ...)
Recap
This page proposes ways medical professionals can help to
prevent illness
by choosing to alert patients and colleagues to ways that family stress
promotes sickness. Though the suggestions here highlight adults and kids in
typical divorced biofamilies and stepfamilies, they apply to all families
and human groups. The government estimate that recently almost half of
first-marriages fail suggests how widespread significant stress is in our
society.
The premise underlying these
prevention suggestions
is...
-
unintentional low
childhood (emotional/spiritual) nurturance
promotes two to six false-self wounds which...
-
promote toxic
shame
and fears, (anxiety, "worries,"
"insecurities") and related inner-personal and interpersonal stress
(inner-family conflict, and unfilled
primal wholistic needs), which ...
-
promotes denied self-neglect,
and therefore situational and chronic physical illness.
A related premise is that
typical
medical practioners (like you) and their organizations can unknowingly
generate low-nurturance stress that promotes toxic false-self dominance in
themselves and their patients. Once honestly
assessed,
the nurturance levels of practioners' (a) inner
families and (b) outer organizations can
be raised, over time. At the least, that will indirectly influence patients
to (c) become aware of their wholistic health, and (d) prevent
illness in themselves and their kids.
For
more perspective, read this related prevention article written
to professional motivators.
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