Help others see and break the [wounds + unawareness] cycle

How Military Professionals
Can Help Prevent
Family Stress and Divorce

By Peter K. Gerlach, MSW

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The Web address of this article is http://sfhelp.org/prevent/military.htm

This article is under construction

        This article is written to professionals in all levels and branches of military service, including national guard and coast guard enlistees. Similar articles focus on domestic police and educators in military and other institutions who are interested in preventing family stress and divorce.

        This article is one of a  series on how concerned lay people and human-service professionals can help to prevent common symptoms of the toxic [wounds + unawareness] cycle like these...

  • legal and public tolerance for unhealthy marital, child-conception, and social-environment choices,

  • unintended child neglect and abuse, and related psychological ("false self") wounds,

  • significant marital and family stress and divorce trauma, and...

  • public and professional ignorance of these topics.

        Links below will open popup or new browser windows, so please turn off your browser's popup blocker. The article assumes you're familiar with six or seven prevention topics. If you're not, study these introductory pages to get the most from reading this.

        This article builds on the premise that once professionals like you are aware of the causes and effects of the [wounds + unawareness] cycle, they have a moral obligation to alert other people to them, and work to prevent family stress and divorce. The first two pages of this series propose three specific steps human-service professionals can take to prepare to alert family members, co-workers, clients or patients, and selected target groups of other people on these causes, effects, and cycle-prevention options.

       You can use the information in this nonprofit Web site to...

  • reduce any personal wounds and nourish your own family relationships;

  • improve the effectiveness of your present professional work, and to...

  • empower other people to prevent personal and family stress and divorce.

This article and series focuses on the last two goals. These Project-1 resources focus on the first goal. As you read in the introduction, you have a wide range of options to tailor and accomplish these goals if you're motivated to do so.

        This article offers perspective on (a) how the cycle may affect you and the people you serve with, and (b) summarizes cycle-prevention options in your profession. You'll get the most from reading this if you study this slide presentation and read or review this four-page introduction first. Pause, breathe, and say out loud why you're reading this article. What do you need?

 Perspective

        Men and women who enlist for a military tour or career are people and family members first, then professionals. They (you) are just as susceptible to the toxic effects of the [wounds + unawareness] cycle as civilians. Several things are different for you, compared to people in civilian organizations:

  • You're obligated to stay where you are until your enlistment contract expires. You may request a transfer, but can't "quit" a low-nurturance organization like most civilians can.

  • Obeying orders in a rigid chain of command is an implicit part of your job, regardless of your rank. This means your superiors don't have to be respectful, and may not have the same incentives to be effective managers as civilian counterparts.  

  • Your "top executives" (the President and Senior military commanders) are appointed civil servants who are responsible to the American Congress and people, not stockholders or partners.

  • You charge no fees for your service, and you serve local or national populations, rather than individual clients or patients. You may have a responsibility to lead, support, or serve or other military personnel, like a quartermaster or instructor

  • You may be stationed out of the country with or without your family for significant periods of time.

  • Patriotism and group, corps, and national honor may be more important to you than to average civilians.

        These and other differences with civilian human-service professionals shape your options for alerting others to the [wounds + unawareness] cycle and its personal and occupational effects.

How You Can Help 

        Your first two priorities are your and your family's wholistic health - specially if you are or may be a parent, grandparent, aunt, or uncle. Then you have  a wide range of informal and formal opportunities to alert the people you serve with locally, regionally, or nationally to the cycle and its effects.

Informal Options

        Two powerful choices you have are to (a) tell the people you live and work with about the cycle, low-nurturance families and organizations, personality subselves, and wound recovery; and to (b) use and describing effective communication skills in daily social situations. The first is best done when a colleague is frustrated with the local or larger "bureaucratic system," or vents about a stressful personal or family situation. For example, if a fellow serviceperson tells you about marital or health problems, or a friend or relative who is struggling with addiction, divorce, financial or parental stresses, or depression; s/he may be interested in a brief suggestion of "what's going on."

Formal Options

       

 Recap

 

        Reflect - why did you read this article? Did you get what you needed? If not, what do you need now?

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Created  August 25, 2008