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Help others
see and break the [wounds + unawareness]
cycle |
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How
Military Professionals
Can Help Prevent
Family Stress and Divorce
By
Peter K. Gerlach, MSW |
 The Web address of this article is
http://sfhelp.org/prevent/military.htm
This article is
under construction
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This article is written to professionals in all levels and
branches of military service, including national guard and
coast guard enlistees. Similar articles focus on domestic
police and
educators in military and other institutions who are
interested in preventing family stress and divorce.
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This article
is one of a series on how concerned lay people and human-service
professionals can help to
prevent common symptoms of
the toxic [wounds + unawareness]
like these...
-
legal and public tolerance for unhealthy marital,
child-conception, and social-environment choices,
-
unintended child
and
and related
psychological ("false self")
-
significant marital and family stress and
trauma,
and...
-
public and professional ignorance of
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The article assumes
you're familiar with six or seven prevention
If you're not,
study these introductory
pages to get the most from reading this.
This
article builds on the premise that once
like you are aware
of the causes and effects of the [wounds + unawareness] cycle, they
have a moral obligation to alert
other people to them, and work to prevent family stress and divorce.
The first two pages of this series propose three specific steps
human-service professionals can take to prepare to alert family members,
co-workers, clients or patients, and selected target groups of other people
on these causes, effects, and cycle-prevention options.
You
can use the
information in this nonprofit Web site to...
-
any
personal wounds and nourish your own family relationships;
-
improve the
effectiveness of your present professional work, and to...
-
empower other people to
prevent
personal and family stress and divorce.
This article and series
focuses on the last two goals. These Project-1
resources focus on the first goal. As you read in the introduction, you have a
wide range of options to tailor and accomplish these goals if you're
motivated to do so.
This article
offers perspective on (a) how the cycle may affect you and the people you
serve with, and (b) summarizes cycle-prevention options in your profession.
You'll get the most from reading
this if you study this slide
presentation and read or review this four-page introduction
first.
Pause, breathe, and say out loud why you're reading this article.
What do
you
Perspective
Men and women who enlist for a military tour or career are people
and family members first, then professionals. They (you) are just as
susceptible to the toxic effects of the [wounds + unawareness] cycle as
civilians. Several things are different for you, compared to people in
civilian organizations:
-
You're obligated to stay where you are
until your enlistment contract expires. You may request a transfer,
but can't "quit" a low-nurturance organization like most civilians
can.
-
Obeying orders in a rigid chain
of command is an implicit part of your job, regardless of your rank.
This means your superiors don't have to be respectful, and may not
have the same incentives to be effective managers as civilian
counterparts.
-
Your "top executives" (the President and
Senior military commanders) are appointed civil servants who are
responsible to the American Congress and people, not stockholders or
partners.
-
You charge no fees for your service, and
you serve local or national populations, rather than individual
clients or patients. You may have a responsibility to lead, support,
or serve or other military personnel, like a quartermaster or
instructor
-
You may be stationed out of the country
with or without your family for significant periods of time.
-
Patriotism and group, corps, and
national honor may be more important to you than to average
civilians.
These and other differences with civilian human-service professionals
shape your options for alerting others to the [wounds + unawareness]
cycle and its personal and occupational effects.
How You Can Help
Your first two priorities are
your and your family's
- specially if you are or may be a parent, grandparent, aunt, or
uncle. Then you have a wide range of informal and formal
opportunities to alert the people you serve with locally, regionally, or
nationally to the cycle and its effects.
Informal Options
Two powerful choices you have are to (a) tell the people you live and
work with about the cycle, low-nurturance families and organizations,
personality subselves, and wound recovery; and to (b) use and describing
effective communication skills in daily social situations. The first is
best done when a colleague is frustrated with the local or larger
"bureaucratic system," or vents about a stressful personal or family
situation. For example, if a fellow serviceperson tells you about
marital or health problems, or a friend or relative who is struggling
with addiction, divorce, financial or parental stresses, or depression;
s/he may be interested in a brief suggestion of "what's going on."
Formal Options
Recap
Reflect - why did you read this article? Did you get what you needed? If
not, what
you need now?
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Created
August 25, 2008
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