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This is one of a series of articles on Lesson 4 - optimize your
relationships. These articles build on Lessons 1 - 3, and prepare you for
Lesson 5 (evolve a nourishing family) and Lesson 6 (effective parenting).
This index links to articles in this nonprofit Web
site about solving common relationship problems among people
and among your
This brief YouTube video overviews self-improvement "lesson 4" in
thus Web site - optimize your
relationships. The video mentions eight lessons in this self-improvement Web
site - I've reduced that to seven.
Human relationships exist
to satisfy a set of common needs like companionship, security, affirmation,
and support. Relationship "problems" occur when someone can't fill
someone's significant needs.
Common reasons that hinder relationship problem-solving
one or more people are
they don't identify the
primary needs that
cause their surface problems, and...
Each link below leads to a popup or article offering perspective on the problem,
resolution options, references, and (often), illustrations.
All articles are linked to each other
and to relevant worksheets and resources.
don't see the topic you're interested in, try searching the site or sending me feedback. Problems in bold type deserve special focus.
Asterisked (*) items offer effective ways to
respond to this behavior in
another person. Topics are listed alphabetically.
Many of these articles contain an embedded YouTube video to illustrate key
points. One of the Break-the-Cycle! YouTube playlists (4a) offer videos on a
general relationship issues. A related playlist (4b) provides
videos on dating, marriage, and divorce issues.
Learning from these videos alone is
much less effective than studying online
have a stepfamily relationship problem, also see
Did your childhood caregivers and
teachers show you how to master each of these well enough? Do you think
anyone showed them how? Are you teaching any kids in your life how to
understand and master these common secondary stressors?
Notice common relationship stressors that aren't included above, like
conflicts over money, jobs, dwellings, vehicles, trips, in-laws, intimacy,
ex mates, health, ecology, vacations, holidays, religion, kids, friends,
politics, hobbies, personal health, etc. Each of these is a surface
problem caused by one or more of the stressors above.
If you reduce the three primary
causes of these relationship problems -
wounds, ignorance, and
unawareness - they'll
all diminish!The principles in
resolvingeach of these
"problems" are the same. The benefits from learning to resolve them will last the
rest of your life, and give your kids a major social advantage.
Lesson-4 menu links you to articles on resolving many common
surface relationship problems between people and between personality
subselves. It notes several useful readings, and proposes three correctable
underlying causes of
most social relationship problems.