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Premise - all emotions are valuable pointers to current needs (discomforts). None are "negative." There are "negative" (harmful) ways to express emotions. Anger is a primitive response to feeling threatened, hurt, or injured. It feels the same as frustration but merits a different response. Trying to "not feel angry" is like trying not to digest your food. Learning how to distinguish anger from frustration and to express and use each of them constructively are social skills all kids and adults need. Can you do these? To use anger constructively (a) view it as useful, not "negative;" (b) distinguish between feeling hurt, scared, and angry and expressing those; (c) put your true Self in charge and (d) identify what need/s your hurt and anger point to. Then (e) assert and problem-solve (fill) your needs as appropriate. See Lessons 1 and 2. Finally, (f) learn how anger relates to healthy grieving (Lesson 3), (g) evolve and use personal and family anger and grieving policies to guide you in stressful or confusing situations; and (h) model and teach these steps to any young people in your life! How do these options compare to how your family members presently manage their frustrations, hurts, losses, and anger? |
