Common Relationship Problems (Unmet Needs)

     Premise - people form relationships to fill key needs (reduce current discomforts). All relationships have "problems" - conflicting and/or unmet needs. Typical unaware adults and kids try to reduce current problem symptoms rather than to satisfy the pri-mary needs causing the symptoms, like these...

 1)  enough self-respect and mutual respect ("esteem")

 2)  enough trust - i.e. feeling safe enough from discomfort and harm in the relationship

 3)  enough clarity on mutual relationship roles (responsibilities and expectations)

 4)  feeling heard, understood, and accepted (vs. ignored or criticized) often enough

 5)  feeling consistently clear and confident on core personal and mutual rights and          boundaries

 6)  self-confidence about discerning and asserting opinions and primary needs effec-      tively

 7)  compatible-enough personal priorities, values, and interests

 8)  effective strategies for identifying and resolving significant relationship problems

 9)  consistently enjoying time together, rather than avoiding, dreading, or enduring it

10)  feeling stimulated and nurtured enough by the relationship, vs. stressed, bored,        and/or depleted

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