Lesson 7 of 7 - evolve a high-nurturance stepfamily


Stepfamily Resources

By Peter K. Gerlach, MSW

member NSRC Experts Council

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The Web address of this index is https://sfhelp.org/sf/links7.htm

Updated 06/14/2015

      This page lists all lesson-7 articles and worksheets on how to evolve a high-nurturance (functional) stepfamily. These materials extend and use the information in online lessons 1 thru 6, so study them first. The lesson-7 guide provides a structured way to use the resources listed here. 

      The "/" in re/marriage and re/divorce notes that it may be a stepparent's first union. "Co-parents" means both bioparents, or any of the three or more related stepparents and bioparents managing a multi-home nuclear stepfamily.  

       These Lesson-7 links are grouped as...

- Before following any link below, scan this entire index for context. The number of articles and worksheets here demonstrates how complex average stepfamilies are!

  Stepfamily Basics

7-01) Quiz: do you know what you need to know about stepfamilies?

7-02)  Stepfamily basics

7-03)  A real-life example of a typical new stepfamily

7-04)  Questions stepfamily adults and supporters should research

7-05)  How stepfamilies and biofamilies are similar

7-06)  35 structural differences between stepfamilies and typical intact biofamilies

7-07)  36 unique merger tasks new stepfamily adults must master 

7-08)  Extra developmental phases typical stepfamilies have compared to intact biofamilies

7-09)  Three possible developmental paths new stepfamilies may follow

7-10)  60 common stepfamily myths, expectations, and realities

7-11)  Why accepting your stepfamily identity is vital

7-12)  Perspective on who belongs to your stepfamily

7-13)  Why and how to use a genogram to map your stepfamily members

7-14)  16 things new stepfamily members must merge over many years

7-15)  Primary problems that cause most stepfamily stress.

7-16)  How to evaluate stepfamily advice

7-17)  How to choose useful stepfamily books and materials

  Stepfamily Courtship and Re/marriage

      Note - the "/" notes it may be a stepparent's first union or divorce

7-18)  Perspective on cohabiting ("moving in together")

Courtship Worksheets

7-19) 16 courtship danger signs

7-20)  Am I committing to the right mate, co-parent/s, and stepkids?

7-21)  Is this the right time to re/marry? -

7-22)  Are we re/marrying for the right reasons?

7-23)  Ideas on planning a successful stepfamily wedding

7-24)  Options if your mate hasn't grieved the death of their former spouse

Resources - Computer-assisted pre-remarriage evaluation programs: Prepare/Enrich, REFOCCUS, and Relate. These are useful, though they're less detailed than the worksheets above, and they don't evaluate  some key factors like these. 

  Effective Stepfamily Co-parenting


  • Co-parenting basics and typical stepchild needs

  • Stepparent-stepchild relationships

  • Stepsibling relationships

      Note - for articles on ex-mate relations, see Lesson 4

Co-parenting Basics and Stepchild Needs

7-25)  Typical stepkids' concurrent developmental and adjustment needs

7-26)  How to assess a child's status with four sets of special needs.

7-27)  Q & A about divorcing-family and stepfamily co-parenting

7-28)  How stepparenting differs from bioparenting

7-29)  Traits of effective stepparents

7-30)  Effective stepchild-discipline 

7-31)  Worksheet for clarifying co-parents' responsibilities

7-32)  How to make co-parent "job descriptions"

7-33)  Resolve conflicts over stepfamily names and titles

7-34)  Pros and cons of conceiving an "ours" child in a stepfamily

7-35)  Perspectives on legally adopting your stepchild

7-36)  Options for reducing adult-stepchild problems

7-37)  How to start and maintain an effective co-parent support group

Stepparent-Stepchild Relationships

7-38)  Q & A about stepchildren

7-39)  Q & A about stepparenting

7-40)  Options for resolving stepparent-stepchild "love" problems.

Stepsibling Relationships

7-41)  What is it like to be a half-sibling? .

Common Problems with Stepfamily Relatives

7-42)  What do co-grandparents and step-grandkids need?

7-43)  Resolve relatives' resistances to accepting stepfamily identity

  Special Stepfamily Issues

7-44)  Options for reducing holiday and celebration stress (Lesson 6)

7-45)  Options for successful stepchild residence-changes (Lesson 6)

7-46)  Adapt to many family changes when a co-parent's home relocates

7-47)  How to pick an effective stepfamily counselor


7-48) How to evaluate stepfamily books, programs, and advice

7-49)  Outline of an educational group role-play exercise: create a stepfamily!

7-50)  Stepfamily Courtship, by Peter K. Gerlach, MSW (Xlibris.com, 2007)

7-51)  Building a Healthy Stepfamily, by Peter K. Gerlach, MSW (Xlibris.com, 2002)

7-53)  Helpful Web sites, games, books, and periodicals for co-parents and supporters 

Review - traits of a high-nurturance family (Lesson 5)

Review - use structural maps to understand and manage your stepfamily

Review - An overview of family systems, and how to use this concept

Review - Why family mission statements are vital, and how to make one (Lesson 5)

Review: Options for analyzing and resolving most role and relationship problems (Lesson 4)

Review - options fror improving your communication effectiveness

Review - An introduction to three universal family conflicts, and what to do about them (Lesson 2)

YouTube videos on re/marriage and stepfamilies by P, K. Gerlach:

      https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL176766728CBE12CF and


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