be clear on what
you
from others before you post a message:
an opinion,
information, validation, suggestions, to express
an idea, help others, or ... (what?)
respect the privacy
and confidentiality of what you read there, as you would wish
others to respect yours.
use appropriate
language and good taste in your messages. Offensive posts will
usually be
removed and blocked.
share helpful
stepfamily
resources you've found, including any parts of this site.
don't use a forum
as a gripe or blame festival. Clarifying, problem-solving and
brainstorming help everyone! Note your option to say what's good about your stepfamily relationships and experience too!
If you need to vent (be empathically understood)
vs. problem-solve,
say so. That lets others know
what kind of response you seek. Beware of offering "help" to those who
don't ask for it - doing so implies "I know better than you how to
solve your problem." Sometimes that's true, but wounded, unaware people
can feel insulted by your trying to "fix" them.
If you
want help on a
problem, try the
technique first.
That will raise your odds for discerning what you really need, and getting helpful
responses.
expect other stepfamilies
to be structured
differently than yours: there are almost
The basic dynamics and
challenges
in each type are very similar. Also be alert to other stepfamilies
being at a different developmental stage
than yours. And for best Web-discussion results...
be brief. If
you want to go into more detail with someone, ask if s/he will
exchange
e-mail, and swap addresses with them.
The Web
address of this page is http://sfhelp.org/site/forum.htm
Do
you want to swap stories and
solutions with other co-parents?