The Web
address of this quiz is https://sfhelp.org/fam/quiz5.htm.
Updated
03-22-2015
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This is one of a series of articles on evolving and
enjoying
(functional)
families (Lesson 5). The series exists because the wide
range of current social problems suggests that
many (most?) families (like
yours?) don't
fill the primary needs of (nurture) their members very well.
That suggests the epidemic
of the lethal [wounds + unawareness]
proposed in this Web site .
Why Learn about Families?
From
36 years'
professional research, I propose that one of
for widespread
family stress and
divorce is
general
of key personal, relationship, and family topics -
like what it takes to evolve a functional (high-nurturance)
family. Many lay and professional adults don't know what they don't know, so they're
not motivated to learn and apply these
Could this describe you?
This quiz invites
you to
assess how much you know about
families - in general, and your own. It links you with practical answers you can
tailor to fit your knowledge and situation.
"Scoring" this quiz is less important than what you
know, your motivation to learn, and how you use your
family knowledge...
This quiz
assumes you're familiar with...
-
the
intro
to this site and the premises
underlying it;
-
self-improvement Lessons
-
these Q&A items about
families, and...
-
this overview of the [wounds + unawareness]
cycle
|
Directions
Check to see if your
is
you now.
If not, expect skewed results from this quiz, and study
Print this quiz and have
something to write with and blank paper for notes;
Find a quiet place and reserve
at least 45-60" to respond to these items;
Adopt the unbiased curiosity of a student, and expect to learn something useful here;
Take your time. Check each main item
below
( __ ) only if you can
confidently check each sub-item ( _ ).
As you
answer these items, imagine how other family members (like each of your
living or dead) parents and
grandparents) would respond to (a) each
item, and (b) to taking and discussing this quiz. Will your grown kids be
able to "pass" this quiz?
Links below will take you to the answers in this
Web site. To stay
focused, consider finishing this
quiz before you click on any underlined links
of interest.
Reassure yourself -
you don't need to
be a Ph.D. to learn the answers here!
For fun, guess which of
these you'll feel when you finish this quiz:
|
_
I knew little about families
_
I know less than I thought I did
_
I know about what I thought I did
_
I know more than I realized
_
Now I know all I need to know
_
I want to learn more about my family
|
Suggestions
-
try answering these
items out loud to someone you trust, or to an imaginary group of high-school
seniors.
-
avoid vague generalities - be
specific in your answers.
-
think of several families you know
well as you consider each item.
-
remind yourself that "I don't know" is a
valid answer!
Recall - underlined inks below
will take you to a new page.
Ready?
What I Know About Families
__ 1) Define "a
family," ("a family is...")
__ 2) Explain why families exist in every animal species, age, and culture -
i.e. define the main
purposes of any family (like yours).
__ 3) Describe
what would
probably happen to a society of there were no families.
__ 4) Describe:
_ a
psychological family,
_ specifically how it differs from a
genetic (biological) family, and...
_ how and _ why
psychological families form.
__ 5)
Define and illustrate...
_
what a
need is, and...
_ the difference between
and
__ 6) Name at least
eight
developmental needs that typical minor kids
depend on family adults to fill well.
__ 7) Define
how _ members' and _ society's needs affect any family's
__ 8) Define what
nurturing means in the context of a family.
__ 9) Describe...
_ what a family's
is, and...
_ how it relates to the family's "functioning."
__ 10) Define and give examples of a _
high-nurturance (functional) and _
low-nurturance (dysfunctional) nuclear
biological family, and _ name at least 15 of the ~30
traits of a high-nurturance family
__ 11)
Define at least
on
a child of growing
up in a low-nurturance (dysfunctional) family environment,
__ 12) Define _
"a
relationship"
and _ at least seven
requisites for a mutually-satisfying
relationship.
__ 13) _ Name at least three ways
that family relationships differ from other
relationships, and _ explain what
that usually means.
__ 14) Define
_ human
_
pseudo bonding,
_ how bonding differs from dependence
(needing),
_ how bonds
develop, and...
_ why some wounded adults and kids
are unable to bond.
__ 15) Explain _ what it means to
to a family,
and _ who usually determines a typical
family's membership
(inclusion and exclusion).
__ 16) Describe the people
who comprise...
_ a
nuclear family
and
_ an
extended family,
and
_ why these adjectives can be useful in
discussing family problems.
__
17) Name...
_ at least four
common types of family,
_ identify which is the most complex, and...
_ explain why.
__ 18) Describe...
_ what a
stepfamily is, and...
_ who comprises
(belongs to) a nuclear stepfamily.
__ 19) Describe
_ a
and...
_
how such a statement may affect a family's long-term nurturance level.
__ 20) Describe...
_ what
interpersonal and family
are,
_ what's required for effective
boundaries,
and...
_ how
boundaries can strengthen or degrade a family's nurturance
level.
__ 21) Describe...
_ what a
family's
is, and
_ how adults can benefit from diagramming
_ who belongs to their family and _ their family's structure, in troubled times.
Option -
after finishing this quiz, try mapping your childhood and current nuclear families and see
what you learn.
__ 22) Define...
_ family
and
_
role
titles, and...
_ give at least 8 common
examples.
__ 23) Describe and illustrate family
_ role conflicts;
_
role confusion, and...
_ role strain,
_ how each of these relates to a family's nurturance level.
__ 24) _ Define and _ give examples of family
rules and...
_ explain the difference between effective
and ineffective family
rules.
__ 25) Describe...
_ the
main
elements of a
and...
_ explain
how
family adults can use this
knowledge to spot and solve family role, relationship, boundary,
and structural problems.
__ 26) Describe...
_ when a family
begins, and...
_ the main
developmental stages of any family
that includes children.
__ 27) Explain...
_ what
is,
_ how it relates to religion,
and...
_ how spirituality
and religion may affect a family's nurturance level.
__ 28) Describe...
_
family
identity and...
_ how it
relates
to a family's nurturance level.
__ 29) Define and give examples of a...
_
and a...
_
, and
_
outline an effective strategy for avoiding or resolving each of
these common family stressors.
__ 30) Describe...
_ how family
changes relate to
and...
_ what "effective
grieving" is.
__ 31) _ Explain the difference between
anger and frustration,
and _ define and illustrate
a healthy family
__ 32) Describe and illustrate...
_ a family
"grieving policy," and...
_ a
home.
__ 33) Describe...
_
what an "addiction"
is;
_ the
of common addictions; and...
_ why any addiction is a
symptom of family
dysfunction, not an individual "disease."
_
why addictions are a
family-system problem,
__ 34) Describe...
_ the
that cause all kids and adults to communicate, and...
_ the
for
effective communication.
__ 35) Define the
that determines the outcome of
any communication, and significantly affects the
quality of most family (and other) relationships.
__ 36) Define...
_ effective
and...
_ "effective
child discipline;" and...
__
37)
Describe how informed adults can...
_ effectively
analyze and...
_
resolve most family relationship, role, membership, values, and
loyalty conflicts.
__ 38) Define...
_
and...
_ toxic (harmful) parenting.
__ 39) Describe at least
three things high-nurturance families contribute to their community and society.
+ + +
Note your thoughts and feelings as you finish this quiz. What
are you aware of now? Is there anything special you want to research or
remember from these 39 items? Do you want to show this quiz to anyone and/or
discuss it?
Now compare how you feel about your family-knowledge level
to what you thought before taking the quiz...
|
_
I knew little about families
_
I know less than I thought I did
_
I know about what I thought I did
_
I know more than I realized
_
Now I know all I need to know
_
I want to learn more about my family
|
How do you think other average adults - specially parents and
grandparent4s - would answer this?
Recall: This is
one of several
basic topics that typical adults need know to evolve a
high-nurturance family and break the crippling [wounds + unawareness]
cycle.
Test your knowledge of them with these
Now What?
Use options like these to benefit from what you just
learned:
If you haven't recently,
study the [wounds + unawareness]
cycle that may be stressing you and your family. This will help you
benefit from these quizzes and lessons.
Practice noticing whether your
is
you
in calm and stressful times. You'll get the most from using
these quizzes and options when s/he is
If there are terms in this quiz
you're unclear on, see this glossary.
If you want to ask other people to take and discuss this
quiz, _ who are they, and _
do you want this?
Note how motivated you are (little >
highly) to invest
time studying the answers to these items. Doing this with one or
more people (like your mate) can be more fun, and will probably be more productive
for all of you.
Try using the terms and concepts in
this quiz in conversations with other family members. See if over
time they help you all raise your awareness, cooperation, and nurturance level.
If you're in a co-parent
support group,
consider using the quizzes in this Web site as a framework for study and
discussion topics. Note that
in this Web course is about effective parenting.
More options for using this quiz...
Scan these "Questions
Family Adults Should Ask." They offer specific answers to most of the
items in these quizzes.
Use
these topics as a framework for educating the young people in your life
about their family. They don't know what they need to
know, and probably have confusions they can't articulate.
Give a copy of this quiz
(or all
of them) to your kids' teachers, school counselors, and
coaches to help raise their awareness of their own kids and students.
Commit
to studying this vital self-improvement
Then use what you learn to help
the lethal [wounds + unawareness] cycle in your family, community,
region, or nation.
If you're
a human-service
use these
quizzes to
(a) help design in-service training
programs for your co-workers and supervisors, and (b) educate and empower
your clients and patients.
If a
controls your
you'll probably ignore your quiz results and options like these or postpone acting on them
- and
rationalize this as being "OK."
Right now I feel....
and I'm aware of...
and something I want to do now is...
Recap
This is one of seven basic-knowledge
in this nonprofit
self-education Web site. They exist to improve adults' awareness,
relationships, and family nurturance levels. From
36 years'
experience as a family therapist,
this quiz offers 39
multi-part
questions to help you self-assess your knowledge on families.
Few high-school seniors or average parents can answer all these questions
accurately because our ancestors and schools haven't taught them. This knowledge can help you identify
and reduce harmful
psychological
and
you may not be aware of, and to teach and prepare the youngsters in your
life.
All other articles in this Web site use these family concepts to help
you avoid and lower family stress and conflicts, and raise the nurturance
level of your home and extended
family. For more perspective,
see these Q&A topics and these essential
Lessons..
Recall
why you took this quiz. Did
you get what you
?
If you did, what do you need now? If you didn't, what
you need? Who's
these questions - your wise resident
or
Option - see this related quiz about stepfamily knowledge.
