7 lessons to help break the [wounds + unawareness} cycle

Practical GUIDEBOOKS for
Trauma-recoverers, Family adults,
 and Supporters

By Peter K. Gerlach, MSW
Member NSRC Experts Council

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  The Web address of this article is https://sfhelp.org/flyer.htm

Updated April 11, 2015

        I have been interested in people and relationships as long as I can remember. This led me to become a professional family-systems therapist in 1981. Since then, I have spent over 18,000 hours working with over 1,000 average adults and some of their kids, trying to assist them with a wide range of personal and family problems. I also have learned much from the writings of well over 40 other experienced clinicians, who share my interest in understanding and improving "the human condition."

        Five decades of study, meditation, observation, and discussion have led me to form the ideas offered in this non-profit Web site. I now believe that most personal, family, and social problems are caused by a lethal [wounds + unawareness] cycle that is silently spreading and weakening our society. I have never found another person who proposes this unverified idea. Most people whom I explain it to say "this makes sense."

        I want to alert people to this cycle and motivate them to break it - i.e. to protect future generations from inheriting it. My attempt to alert people has evolved into the  seven-lesson online self-improvement course here. Before this course evolved, I tried to capture the essence of my learnings in the books below.   

        There are shelves of books on self-improvement, relationships, parenting, and families. The books below are unique because they propose that most personal and social problems are caused by...

  • psychological  wounds caused by early-childhood abuse, neglect and/or abandonment (Lesson 1); and...

  • widespread personal and societal unawareness of...

    • effective-communication basics and skills (Lesson 2), and...

    • healthy grieving basics (Lesson 3); and...

    • effective relationship + parenting + family basics (Lessons 4 thru 6); and for some...

    • stepfamily realities, problems, and solutions. (Lesson 7)

To glimpse how unaware you are, take these quizzes and see what you learn.

        These books will help readers understand these factors, what they mean, and how to reduce them. The first two guidebooks are for anyone - specially adults from low-nurturance childhoods ( Grown Wounded Children, or GWCs). The other books pertain to typical stepfamilies. Most of their content applies to all families.

        All five titles are available from the publisher (Xlibris.com), Amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, and other online book sellers


Lesson 1 guidebook

available as an ebook

Who's Really Running
 Your Life?
(4th ed.)

Free your true Self
and guard your kids

< Contents >


Lesson 7

Build a High-
nurturance Stepfamily

- a guidebook for co-parents and supporters

How to merge three or more  family cultures over many years, and resolve many inevitable conflicts together

< Contents >



Lesson 2 guidebook

available as an ebook

Satisfactions - (2nd ed.)
7 communication
you need to know.
If you can't name them -
you're not using them

< Contents >


Lesson 7

Build a Co-parenting
after divorce
 and re/marriage

Avoid or reduce nine common barriers to caregiving teamwork among divorcing parents and stepfamily adults and supporters

<  Contents  >




Lessons 3, 4, and 7

available as an ebook

Stepfamily Courtship
Make three wise
marital choices

(for remarried mates too)

< Contents >

      All books are available in paperback and hardcover editions. For more information on them, contact the publisher (www.xlibris.com) or the author (pilgrim27@aol.com). For perspective on selecting useful books about stepfamily life, see this.

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