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Healthy infants, kids, and adults form attachments (psychological-spiritual bonds) to special things, people, ideas, dreams, rituals, places, sounds, and places. Life invites or forces us to break these bonds (losses), and human nature provides the process of grieving or mourning to recover so we can make new bonds. Healthy grief progresses through a series of pha-ses in two or three levels: |
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Mental level - initial confusion and "magic thinking" > trial ques-tions and answers > clarity > full acceptance of losses and im-pacts Emotional level - shock and disbelief > false hope or numbness > anger / rage > sadness > acceptance and emotional stability Spiritual level: initial faith > questioning / rejecting / anger with God ("How could You allow this?") > acceptance > stable new faith. |
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People in low-nurturance families can be blocked from grieving to full acceptance. Until they (a) choose pro-grief environments, (b) reduce their wounds, and (c) dispel any myths about healthy mourning; blocked grievers may be unable or unwilling to form new bonds This can promote significant personal and relationship stress. A major courtship danger is committing before grief is finished. self-improvement Lesson 3 here is about assessing for in-complete grief, completing it, and evolving a high-nurturance, pro-grief family together. |
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