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What's an Effective
Response?
An "effective
response" to problem behavior meets four conditions:
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you accept full responsibility for
filling your own needs,
and give other able people responsibility
for filling theirs - without guilt or anxiety;
-
you're clear on your and their
equal
rights
as dignified, worthy
persons;
-
you don't model problem behaviors while asking others to change
them; and...
-
after your response, all people involved feel...
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fully heard, respected, and
satisfied with the outcome - i.e. each person got their current
primary needs met, and any boundaries (limits) were honored, well enough;
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that they followed their own
integrities (were true to their values and standards);
and feel...
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good enough about the
way they interacted together; and every-one feels...
-
that their relationships were
nurtured, vs. degraded.
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