Typical Primary-partner Needs
"In our relationship, I need to feel genuinely and steadily loved - i.e. to feelů
● special to, and prized by you among all your other relationships and priorities;
● needed emotionally and physically by you, but not over-needed (codependence);
● respected and appreciated by you;
● liked and enjoyed by you, often enough;
● heard empathically (vs. agreed with) by you, often enough;
● trusted with your deepest current dreams, fears, shames, doubts, and joys;
● I need to trust that you'll always tell me your truth, and...
● companioned by you, as we co-create an interesting, growthful life together;
● accepted by you, with all my priorities, wounds, needs, and limitations;
● encouraged by you to free my true Self and discover my life purpose
● separate enough from you, so I can have my own friends, activities, goals, and identity."
When one or both partners don't get enough of these needs filled often enough, their relationship decays. Lessons 1 thru 4 here offer practical ways mates can fill their primary-relationship needs despite significant problems.