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Typical nuclear stepfamilies are far more complex than intact biofamilies! They have 3 or more co-parents and several kids who each have several dozen concurrent special adjustment needs, and many more confusions and distractions. These all combine to make nurturing minor stepkids and half-siblings effectively very challenging. Typical stepfamily co-parents (bioparents and stepparents) need help (a) learning what being in a stepfamily means, (b) assessing what each minor child needs, (c) overcoming many barriers to caregiving teamwork, and (d) mastering major values and loyalty conflicts to agree on who's responsible for filling each child's needs, how, and when. An effective way to reduce co-parent conflicts and fill stepkids' needs is to create co-parent job descriptions. These are written documents like many businesses use to help their employees be clear on their responsibilities and priorities, and how their performance will be judged. self-improvement Lesson 7 in this Web site suggests specific steps for (a) resolving any stepfamily membership conflicts, (b) evolving a stepfamily mission statement, (c) building an effective co-parenting team, (d) assessing each child's developmental and special needs, and (e) co-operatively maintaining and use meaningful co-parent job descriptions. Typical intact biofamilies are far simpler and their roles are clearer, so adults don't usually need job descriptions. That's why most step-adults have no experience with them, and don't intuitively see their great long-term value. // More info |
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