Stepfamily Realities 25 & 26 - Financial Conflicts

      My stepfamily research since 1979 suggests that after child-related disputes, financial matters are the second most conflictual area for typical co-parents . Typical surface issues span prenuptial agreements; child-support amounts, responsibilities, promptness, and uses; asset and debt ownership; wills and estate plans; children's allowances and money values; spending vs. saving; bill-paying; checkbook management; acceptable debt levels; credit ratings; insurance amounts and responsibilities; and child-expense "fairness."

      Typical wounded, needy courting couples don't admit and negotiate major values-differences on these complex financial topics before they exchange vows. Even if they do, unresolved barriers with their other co-parents and/or relatives will promote major values and loyalty conflicts over "money issues." The frequency, complexity, and intensity of these surface disputes are usually significantly greater than in average intact biofami-lies.                                         More perspective.